Diagnosis Betrayal
You two are so serious now, insisted Diane, gazing expectantly at her potential daughter-in-law. When are you planning to tie the knot?
Well, I dont think its the right time just yet, replied the young woman with a polite, careful smile, choosing her words to avoid upsetting her future mother-in-law. Weve only lived together a month. Its worth waiting a little longer, to really see how we get on with the day-to-day things Who knows, we might start arguing over silly things?
Diane arched an eyebrow but refused to be deterred. Truth be told, she rather liked Emmafar more than her sons previous girlfriend. Jessica had been insufferable and cheeky. It was a blessing that Nathan had ended it.
And how are things with little Oliver? Diane changed tack but her gaze was still sharp. Hes practically a young man, I know, but still
Emmas heart warmed at the mention of Nathans son. She remembered the first days shed moved in, worrying herself sick about how the teenager would accept another woman in his home, whether hed see her as a threat or as an attempted replacement for his own mum.
Hes lovely, Emma replied sincerely, her smile softer and more genuine. I was a bit nervous initially, of course. I wondered if he might be standoffish, or even resentful. But actually, its been brillianthes a very open, friendly lad!
She paused, recalling how Oliver had once burst through the door after school, eagerly devoured a slice of her apple crumble, and declared on the spot that thered always be proper food at home now.
To be honest, Emma went on, grinning, hes openly thrilled that someones cooking other than his dad! Nathan is rather hopeless in the kitchen. Oliver even asks me to teach him a recipe now and then.
Nathan, whod been quietly following the conversation, nodded, a faint smile briefly crossing his facehe clearly shared Emmas relief at how well theyd all settled together.
Has he started hinting about a baby brother yet? Diane inquired bluntly, not bothering with subtlety.
Nathan couldnt hide a wince at his mothers question, shooting her a reproachful look that said, Must you always? Hed long accepted that Diane never shied from the most personal questions, utterly obliviousor indifferentto who might cringe at the subject matter.
I dont see why not! Diane remarked breezily, dismissing any notion of tact. Her tone was almost cheerful, as if talking about the weather. Oliver loves having little ones abouthes always fussing with his cousins. And youre only thirty-five, Nathanyouve got time to bring up a couple more!
Emma was stung by a wave of discomfort. She hated that she had to discuss something so sensitive and personal with a woman shed only just got to know. She squeezed her hands in her lap, willing herself to appear composed.
Im afraid that isnt possible, she managed, steady and cool. The doctors have made it clear that I shouldnt have children.
A hush settled over the room for a beat. Dianes brow lifted, her face sliding from kindly to almost chilly.
Womens issues, is it? she asked, feigning sympathy but barely disguising her condescension. Nowadays medicines marvellous, you know. What seemed impossible just a few years ago is now easily solved.
Emma exhaled quietly. She desperately wanted to end the conversation but knew silence would only encourage more questions.
In my case, its more complicated, Emma replied, eyes fixed on the far wall. She didnt see why she should bare her soul to someone she barely knew, but if she said nothing, Diane would simply invent her own answers. I have a serious eye condition. It was diagnosed when I was eighteen. Ive had time to accept realityI cant have children.
Diane paused, thrown, her face a picture of incomprehension. Your eyesight? Whats that got to do with not having children? Im sorry, but I dont understand.
Emma chose her words carefully, reluctant to get bogged down in medical explanations but unable to escape.
If I get pregnant, theres a ninety percent chance Ill lose my sight altogether, Emma said quietly. Its simply too risky. Is it worth it? Whats the use of having a child you might never see?
She fiddled with her glasses, hoping Diane realised this wasnt vanity or a whim, but a real and constant danger.
An awkwardness set in the air, dense and charged. Diane didnt speak again, simply offered Emma the odd cool glance, all traces of warmth gone. Clearly, Emma was not the future wife shed envisaged for her sona robust, healthy woman who would deliver grandchildren as promptly as possible.
But Emma felt no shame, and no inclination to justify herself. She and Nathan had talked it through at length: doctors appointments, poring over research, countless honest conversations. The risk was too great for either of them. If they wanted, they could consider adoption or surrogacyafter all, it wasnt as hard as it once had been.
When it was time to go, the tension lightened a fraction. Diane hugged her son, nodded to Emma, but the gesture felt emptymere formality. As they pulled on their coats in the hallway, Emma caught Nathans eye. He mouthed, Sorry.
Outside, they both breathed easier, the evening air a welcome relief after the heavy encounter. Emma slipped her hand into Nathans and he instantly squeezed her fingers. There was nothing more to say. Meeting the parents hadnt gone well, but it changed nothing about their decision to be together, whatever anyone else might expect…
*************************
Three months later.
Emma increasingly noticed changes in herself. At first, she put it down to exhaustion from work or a passing bug. But when she didnt improve for several days, worry crept in.
She felt constantly drained, plagued by morning nausea. Scents shed never paid attention to were suddenly overwhelming. She bought flu remedies from the chemist, drank loads of water, tried going to bed early. Nothing helped. She found herself distracted at work, and collapsed in the evenings from fatigue, despite not having done much at all.
One evening, chatting with her mum over the phone, Emma let slip how she was feeling.
Emma, darling, her mum asked gently after a pause, are you sure youre not pregnant?
Emma was thrown by the question. She paused, considered, then answered firmly:
Absolutely. I havent missed a single pill. The GP prescribed them after a thorough checkeverything exactly by the book.
Her mother didnt argue but urged, Still, pick up a testif only to put your mind at rest. Its not something you can just ignore.
Emma wanted to object, but something in her mums tone convinced her. A test was quick and simple, and certainty was always worth having.
All right, Mum. Ill go to Boots now. Nathans at work so Ive time, she said, hanging up.
She bundled on a jacket and headed for the pharmacy. The shop was just around the corner; barely a five-minute walk. Emma hurried along, trying to outpace her own thoughts. What if Mums right? Could it really be that? Ive been so careful
She hesitated at the aisle filled with pregnancy tests. There were so many brands, so many types. Feeling a bit lost, she picked up two of the middle-range testsno point scrimping, not when it was this important. She paid and walked briskly home.
Back, she paused in the hallway, hands trembling as she opened the boxes. She followed the instructions and waited.
Those minutes crawled. Emma checked the clock, the tests, again and again. When the results came into focustwo bright linesher breath caught. She checked the second: the same.
How? she gasped, as anxiety surged inside. Its impossibleI was so careful!
Just then, the doorbell rang. Emma jumped. She looked at the clock; it was an odd time for visitors. Then she realisedof course, Oliver, who was forever forgetting his keys.
Emma hurriedly tossed the test packaging in the bin, ran her fingers through her hair and opened the door. There stood Oliver, a bit breathless, his bag slung over one shoulder.
Lost your keys again? she smiled, waving him in.
Yeah, he replied, sheepish, kicking off his shoes. Rushed out and halfway here before I remembered
She headed to the kitchen to rustle up a snack for a hungry teenager, not knowing one of the tests had slipped to the floor and lay there, betrayal plain as day…
*****************
Nathan, Ill be at Mums for the weekshes not feeling too well, Emma said, avoiding her fiancés eyes. She hated deceiving him, but she couldnt face the truth just now. Shed already decidedher health had to come first.
Nathan looked up from his laptop, concern evident.
Do you want me to come with you? I can run you there, pick up any medicineanything you need. I know your mum hates being alone
Emma smiled, grateful but a little guilty. His concern made things harder.
No, thank you. Its all sorted. If anything comes up, Ill ring, she replied as evenly as she could.
She busied herself packing a small suitcase: jumper, jeans, a couple of tees, underwear, toothbrush It was as if the minutes were counting themselvesshe had less than an hour before the last coach, and the station was still across town. Mum had promised to meet her, which was some comfort: thered be someone there who understood without needing an explanation.
Please keep in touch, okay? If you need me, call. Ill jump in the car any time.
I will, Emma nodded, embracing him fleetingly. Ill be home before you know it. You wont even have time to miss me.
The taxi ride to the coach station passed in a blur as she checked her phone constantly for messages from Nathan or her mum. Her mind was a restless tangle, but she reminded herselfsort things out, return, then talk to Nathan honestly and openly.
The following day, Emma attended a private clinic. Shed booked online, carefully chosen the doctor, and planned it so no one would have any awkward questions. The appointment was brisk: an examination, blood tests, a scan. The GP, a sensible woman with a calm voice, double-checked everything before speaking.
Yes, you are pregnant, she confirmed. Its very earlyabout five or six weeks.
Emma nodded wordlessly, still clinging to the desperate hope that something was wrong, the tests a fluke or the labs confused. But it was clear now.
But I was taking the pill, doctor! How is this even possible? Emmas voice trembledconfusion mixed with a deep, shaking fear.
The GP tilted her head, her response measured. Occasionally, the pill fails. Sometimes another medicine, like antibiotics, lessens its effect, or a simple stomach bug means its not absorbed. Its rare, but it does happen.
She paused, watching Emma closely.
I take it you dont wish to continue?
Emma closed her eyes for a second. The answer had haunted her for days. She could hear, again, those warnings from specialists years agothe risk was real, and had not got smaller. She inhaled deeply. Nine chances out of ten I go blind. Can I really take that gamble?
The GP simply nodded, understanding. Shed seen Emmas file and realised these odds were genuine. Emmas choice was, in her circumstances, absolutely right.
I understand, the doctor said gently. Its your decision, and only you know whats best for your health. Ill arrange for further tests so we can be certain and help you plan safely.
She tapped swiftly at her keyboard, handed Emma some printouts.
Ill see you tomorrow. By then well have your results, and well discuss the next steps. And if you have questions, or if youre worried, please just ringsomeone will put you straight through to me.
Emma stared at the papers, trying to absorb what lay ahead. She managed a polite nod and stood. In the corridor, she leaned against the wall, closed her eyes, let out a long, trembling breath. Tomorrow would be another daya new stage in this difficult journey.
**********************
Emma! Nathan exclaimed, his voice alive with excitement when she answered her phone. It was so out of character that Emma was instantly on edge.
Whats wrong? she asked, careful to keep her voice steady. What is it?
Youre pregnant! Nathan blurted, overflowing with joy.
Emmas heart skipped. She closed her eyes, willing herself to think.
What makes you say that?
I found a pregnancy test in the hallwaytwo lines. Nathans voice was all hope and delight. Ive already booked you in with a specialistI want to go with you. I want to be there for you.
Emma fought for composure. She couldnt let his enthusiasm sweep her away.
Dont get ahead of yourself, she said as calmly as she could. Its probably a mistake. You know I was taking the pill. Everything, exactly as prescribed. It just cant be the case.
There was silence on the line as Nathan processed this.
Well, the thing is Nathan faltered, suddenly uncertain. Mum dropped by the other day. She saw your medication and started going on about how your diagnosis wasnt as serious as you think. She had all these stories about friends having babies with far worse conditions, about new breakthroughsshe was so convincing that I let her talk me round.
He hesitated, his guilt palpable through the phone. Emma listened, anger mounting. She understood his hope, but resented that anyoneespecially Dianewould interfere with something so private.
Youre not saying you messed with my pills? Emma pressed, voice cold, though anger churned just beneath.
No, nothing like that, Nathan insisted too quickly. She only made me think maybe it was worth the risk. I never meant it to go this farall I wanted was a chance for us.
Emma shivered, icy dread creeping up her spine.
What did you do, exactly?
Nathan fiddled nervously with something on his desk. I I dropped your prescription bottle, and the pills spilled everywhere. I thoughtmaybe its fate? So I swapped them for vitamins. I just wanted us to have a child. Mum said it would be fine
Emma sat back, stunned, trying to process. Shed explained so often what the pills were for, how vital the daily dose was, how risky even one missed tablet could be.
Are you serious? Her voice was barely a whisper. Clenching her hands, she tried to hold back tears of rage. You did this deliberately? On her advice?
Nathan shifted uneasily, unable to meet her question. I thought it was best for us for our family
For our family? Emma couldnt contain herself now. You didnt even talk to me! You knew my diagnosis, you knew the risks, and you still did this behind my back!
She paused, desperate to hold herself together. The walls seemed to close in; her mind spun. Enough. She couldnt do this by phone.
I cant discuss this now. Come and meet me at Queens Parkmidday, Saturday.
Of course, I will! Nathan replied hopefully. I know itll be all rightthis can be a good thing!
Emma said nothing more, just ended the call.
Inside, she raged. The idea that Nathan had accidentally dropped her tablets and chosen to replace themknowing the stakeswas unbearable. Hed listened to his mother, who had no medical understanding, and gambled with her life.
She would not, could not, accept that.
Saturday came. Nathan arrived awkwardly early at Queens Park, white roses clutched in clammy handsher favourite. He wore hope on his sleeve, confident Emma would come, listen, understand his motives. He rehearsed his speechshed soften, hed apologise, shed forgive, and together theyd work it out.
When Emma arrived, arm-in-arm with her brother James, her expression was set and unyielding. She ignored Nathans flowers. Instead, she handed him a folded piece of paper.
Whats this? he stammered, thrown by her coldness.
It means there wont be a baby, Emma said, her tone flat as midwinter. You knew my situation, you knew the risks, and you deliberately put my health on the line because your mum told you so. Ill be back for my things tomorrowwith my brother, just to be clear.
He reached for her, pleading. Wait, Emma! Cant we talk this through?
She said nothing, simply turned and walked away. Nathan tried to follow but James, standing firm, blocked his path.
Youre lying! Nathan shouted, his voice cracking with anger and desperation. I spoke to doctorsthey said risks are low! Youre just making excuses!
Emma turned. Her eyes were cold and set with resolvenot a glimmer of doubt.
You went behind my back to see doctors? she replied, quietly furious. You knew everything? Or did you just tell them some vague story about your fiancée going blind?
Nathan was struck dumb, surprised she saw through him so easily.
It was about our future! A family! he insisted, wringing his hands. You always said we could think about adopting or surrogacywhy not just take the chance?
Because this isnt a game! Emma cut across him, pain breaking through the ice. This is my life. My body. My sight. If I go blind, I lose everythingmy job, my independence, the world! Did you even think about that?
For a moment, silence. He tried to protest
But the doctors
What doctors, Nathan? she snapped. Did you ask them for proper statistics, for real case studies? Do you know what it means for women like me?
Nathan subsided, the fight bleeding out.
You betrayed my trust, Emma finished, voice barely above a murmur. You knew what these pills meant. How hard Ive fought to live with this diagnosis. And you threw it all away without a word.
James closed the distance, protective but restrained only because Emma had asked for restraint.
I cant be with you anymore, she said bluntly. I cant spend my life worrying about what youll do next.
Nathan tried to speak but nothing came out. He looked at her, hunting desperately for even the faintest sign that things could be fixed. He found only cold certainty.
Emma turned and walked away. Nathan watched her go, James striding at her side, steady as a guard.
As she disappeared into the dusk, Nathan sat heavily on a nearby bench, white roses forgotten in his fistnever given, never wanted.
He stared at the delicate petals, finally understanding: he hadnt just lost the child hed so longed for. Hed lost the woman he loved.
One thought echoed in his head: What if shes right? But it was already too late.
