Hey, do you remember, Emily
He got so used to stopping by their window, since they lived on the ground floor. At first, they wanted a flat higher up, but ended up getting used to it. No one was happier than her Nanano need to climb up all those stairs. On Saturdays, Anna Miller, Emilys grandmother, would bake pies, pancakes, or something else lovely and fragrant. There was always some treat and the scent spread out through the kitchen window, teasing the lads playing football outside.
Jack would walk over to the window, but not the one in the kitchen. Hed come round to the other side of the building, drag over an old crate from the tall grass, stand on it and peek in at Emily. She always somehow knew he was coming and would run over as soon as she heard him climbing up.
Ill bring you some pies, Nanas baked them, shed say, her pink ribbon slipping off her blonde ponytail as she hurried.
Tastes amazing, Jack would say, munching away as he peered into her room. Did you do the English homework? hed ask.
Yeah, all sorted.
Can I copy?
Emily happily handed him her exercise book. Just dont forget to bring it back before lessons tomorrow morning.
Jack was bright in school, but like most boys, a little lazyeven though he was clever. Maths came easy, but running around with his mates in the estate meant he didnt spend much time studying. This was back in the nineties, before everyone had phones, so kids could stay out half the night and their folks wouldnt be too fussed.
In Year Eight, Jack carried Emilys bag for the first time, swinging it as he rambled about the new film hed just seen. By Year Nine, a delicate brown-eyed Sophie had quietly and unanimously become the prettiest girl in school. And Jack was smitten. He couldnt take his eyes off her, hovering nearby, trailing behind her all the way home. Emily thought hed get over it. Now she was the one seeing him offor hoping by the window that hed come knock and say, Emily, let me copy your homework.
Sophie had a way of keeping people at arms length but somehow binding Jack to her. He dashed about between Sophiesometimes she was kind, sometimes she pushed him awayand Emily, who was always waiting for him.
He still peeked in at Emily through the window, and she would set out a mug of tea on the sill with a plate of biscuits when there werent any pies.
Our lads lost again, hed groan (talking about football). Emily always knew; she paid attention to everything Jack cared about. She watched football, read sports news, even sat through horror movies that made her feel illjust to be able to chat with him about them.
She was always more of a mate to him, the kind you can count on for help or a listening ear. Jack went to her more as a friend, sure shed understand and support him. But with Sophie he just adored her, dreaming and moping, even complaining to Emily that Victor had walked Sophie home.
After school, the three ended up in different universities. Jack stopped popping in for homeworkhe followed Sophie everywhere now. Hed stop in with Emily now and then, just out of habit. Theyd sometimes go to the cinema, and Jack would chatter non-stop the whole way.
Jack, my birthdays on Saturday. Id really like you to come over. Will you? She looked at him with those grey, lovesick eyes.
He paused. Saturday? Yeah, alright, why not. Ill come. Who elsell be there?
My parents, Nana, Vera and Dave, Oliviayou know them, just us lot.
All right, its settled. Ill pop round.
Jack never showed up that Saturday. He turned up a week later, upset, deflated.
Jack, what happened? You look really down.
He told her Sophie had left for her placement, hadnt even mentioned she was leaving. Emily tried to comfort him (as much as it hurt her).
I was waiting for you on Saturday, she said.
What was Saturday?
My birthday
Oh, blimey! He slapped his forehead. Emily, I totally forgot. You wont hold it against me, will you?
No, of course not, dont worry.
He stepped up to the window. Hey, do you remember how you used to feed me pies in the summer? That old crate was right there, Id stand on it, and you had tea with jam waiting on the sill.
Emily smiled. The memory warmed her, and it felt good that Jack remembered. They sat there, chatting away, reminiscing about their crowd from the estate, their old classmateslike that time they skipped a lesson and their form tutor caught them on the park bench and sent them back to history.
In their fifth year at uni, Jack was over the moon: Sophie agreed to marry him. He came running to tell Emily. She kept herself together, biting her lip so she wouldnt burst into tears, listening quietly like the trustworthy mate shed always been.
She spent a month weeping into her pillow, wishing shed just told Jack how she felt all those years.
Afterwards, Jack came over again. Nana and her parents were out visiting, so the flat was strangely quiet. Emily sat wrapped in an old blanket, watching TV. She couldnt believe it when Jacks voice appeared behind the door.
She opened up, found him leaning against the wall, looking utterly beaten. Whats happened? she asked, worried.
He came in, slumped in her room, and looked like he might cry.
Jack, please, talk to me. Whats wrong?
She she The weddings off. She said shes in love with someone else. Emily had never seen him so crushed. She edged closer, put her hands on his shoulders: Jack, calm down, it will sort itself out Maybe things will change.
Its over, nothing She said it herself, and she’s taken the papers back You understand, it’s all finished. Tears sparkled in his eyes. He dropped his head in her lap, slid off the sofa, burying his face in Emilys skirt. This is impossible, Emily, impossible
Jack, darling, come on, just calm down, let me make you some mint tea Remember how we used to have tea on the windowsill?
I remember, Emily, I do Youre the only one who gets me, youre lovely, he murmured, kissing her knees uncertainly at first, then more frequently, as if he needed to pour out all his pain. He got up, hugged her around the waist, peppering her face and neck with kisses, whispering something.
Jack, stop, what are you doing
Emily Emily
Jack, I love you! I always havesince Year Six, I love you my dear.
He left after midnight, guilt in his eyes, avoiding Emilys gaze.
Well then, see you
Ill be waiting, Emily whispered, watching him until the door slammed shut.
Jack didnt return, as if that night had never happened. Emily herself began to wonder if shed just dreamed it. Not long after, Jack finished his dissertation and moved to the far northeast.
We need to do something! Emilys dad said, exasperated. We could talk to his parents, after all.
You know she doesnt want to, you know her nerves are shot, and it might harm the baby, her mum replied. And Jacks awareshe told him herself, and he acted like a stranger maybe he left on purpose
We cant just let things slide Dad muttered.
Nana tried to distract herself with knitting, but occasionally wiped away tears. She felt so bad for her granddaughtera smart, kind girl.
After their daughter was born, Emily managed to get Jacks work phone (she begged his old uni mate) and rang him, only saying, Jack, weve had a daughter. I named her Jane.
He mumbled something barely audiblejust, Congratulations.
When Jane turned eighteen months, her parents announced theyd finally paid off their new flat and were moving there with Nana. The new place was, again, a two-bed, just in the next neighbourhood.
Well all come and help in turns, promised Mum.
Emily burst into tears.
Now, now, whats all this? Ill come every day, care for Jane, you can bring her to usyoull be working from home anyhow
Im just used to us all together, Emily admitted.
Love, time moves on. You have to sort your life out, living on your own makes things easier, Mum soothed.
Lately, Emily was hearing more and morefrom parents, from Nana, from matesthat she needed to get on with her life, she was still young and plenty found love after kids.
A week later, Emily had the whole flat to herself. Little Jane giggled and toddled, legs wobbling as she tried to walk. Shed fall softly onto her bum, then scramble up and reach out for her mum. Emily would scoop her up, hug her tight, and laugh with her.
Then Jack appeared out of nowhere. He always did, reallylike when his wedding to Sophie fell apart.
Emily thought her dad had shown up, hed said hed pop by, but instead it was Jack standing in the doorway with a giant red toy fire truck.
Hey! Are you alone? Mind if I come in?
He seemed more grown-up now, more drawn, face sharper.
Come on in.
He set the truck down.
Janes cry rang out, and Emily went to fetch her, picking her up. This is my daughter, she said, nodding toward the truck.
Jack smacked his forehead. Sorry
Take the truck, give it to someone else, Emily said.
He shrugged off his jacket and moved to the kitchen. Its all still much the same, isnt it? Maybe you can at least offer me a cuppa?
She flicked the kettle on, holding Jane in her arms. Jack felt awkward, unsure what to say.
He stared at herfair-haired, hair loose, in a long dress nearly to her ankles, daughter in arms. You look like a Madonna, he muttered.
Emily said nothing.
Remember, your Nana used to bake these amazing pies. And how wed have tea on that windowsill in your room. Oh, and your Nana would water the plants, and splash the rest out onto the street, and Id be right under the windowshe never noticed me Jack tried to laugh. Do you remember, Emily
I dont, Emily replied, cutting him off lightly, almost carelessly. Jack fell quiet. Her answer wasnt meant in retaliation for his mix-up, thinking Jane was a boyit was genuine. She really was starting to forget all the details of those days. Now she had Jane, pouring all her time and love into her, marvelling at her first words, memorising her babble, watching her sleep, wake, play
Drink your tea, Jack, Ive got to make some porridge for the little one.
For the first time, Jack realised nobody expected him there anymore. He stood, put his jacket back on.
All right, maybe next time. Ill be off, youve got your hands full. He lingered, hoping Emily would stop him, but she didnt.
Closing the door behind Jack, Emily quietly said, There wont be a next time. The teas done here. And the coffee.
She returned to Jane, scooped her up, gave her a kiss, then went to stir the porridge.
