Jack, was it you who tidied up the garden? Emily touched her sons shoulder gently.
The boy jolted, then yanked his headphones off. Monsters still battered each other across his computer screen, but Jack was no longer watching.
What, Mum?
I said, when did you get back from school?
Just now.
So who sorted out the garden?
How should I know? Maybe Lily?
Emily smiled. Her three-year-old daughter certainly thought herself a busy little lady, but even she wasnt up to that sort of feat yet.
Dont be daft!
Mustve been the brownie then!
Oh, of course! Him again! You and your stories! Go over to Grandmas and fetch Lily home, shes stayed too long. Ill get dinner started. Hungry?
Starving! Me and the lads had buns at lunch, but that was just after second period. Mum, when are we going to finally get switched to the first rota?
No idea, love. Not a word from the school yet. Theyre still packed full.
Jack shrugged. Suppose it means I get to sleep in the mornings. Always gotta look for the silver lining. He grinned lopsidedly, ever the optimist.
Emily kissed the top of his head, ruffled his hair as he tried to twist away from her affection, and left for the kitchen.
Teenagers
Thirteen. Teenagers already think theyre so grown-up, but really Jack froze up every time her lips brushed his tough, dark hair hair just like his fathers.
Her children couldnt be more different. Jack, tall, blue-eyed, dark like his dad, so much a double of Sam, not just in looks but in spirit too. Stubborn, responsible, kind If he hadnt tidied the garden, hed certainly done the dishes. And the kitchen floor was still slick from a recent mop. Youd be hard pressed to find that sort of help elsewhere perhaps when little Lily was older.
Lily was Emilys miracle. Nearly ten years hoping, a tiny thread of hope left. After Jacks birth, doctors had nearly taken even that away. Still, that thread was enough for her and Sam to bring a daughter into the world. Lily was light personified, like a daisy in the meadow. Gold, fine curls, and eyes as blue as Jacks. She took after Emily gentle as a kitten. Shed sidle up, nestle close to mother or brother, and stay perfectly still.
What is it, sweetheart?
The room would glow at her smile. No one in the world smiled like her daughter Emily was sure of that. No one, now
That smile both healed and hurt her. It was Sams smile. Sam, who was gone.
Emily wanted to howl with the pain of it, but she couldnt. The children were near.
Her husband had been a firefighter, a rescuer. Hed saved people a whole family from the rivers edge. Father, mother, three kids. Then hed dashed in once more for the grandmother, whod refused to leave, desperate to rescue her animals. By then, escape was impossible. The blaze closed in.
Emily found out Sam was gone before anyone told her. Her heart clenched, the dread curdled in her bones, and she yanked Lily, fussing and squalling, from her arms. She called over to her mother-in-law, who was visiting for a few days to help with the baby.
Mum, take her! I need to phone someone!
Then she drove like mad to the fire station in the neighbouring town, not feeling her shirt damp from milk or her hands cramping on the wheel.
How did she survive that edge? How didnt she fall?
The children saved her. Jack clung to her, never leaving her side.
Come on, Jack, let me tuck you in. Her mother-in-law, Dorothy, was so worn she could barely stand, but she wouldnt leave Emily. She forced her to eat, to drink, and brought Lily to her for feeding.
Ill stay with Mum! Jack would shake his head, pressing his little hand to Emilys cheek. Granny, why are Mummys hands so cold?
Most of it Emily recalled only in snatches. Like the frantic packing, shoving toys into bags, not remembering what went where.
I cant stay here anymore Feels like Sams about to slam the door and shout like always: Im home!
Youre right, Em! Dont stay. Come to mine for a while, well think of something.
No Cant. Sorry. Every bit there reminds me of him too. Hurts too much. Ill go to Grandmas house instead.
But love, no ones lived there for years! You cant take the kids there!
Itll be fine. Needs a tidy and thats it. Youll be close, anyway. Ill need help.
Im not going anywhere, love. Youre all I have left.
Lets not, Mum Not now. If we start crying again well never get anything done. Keep an eye on Lily, Ill finish the packing. And try to feed Jack, he wont eat unless Im there and Ive no appetite at all.
Thats not right! Dorothys voice grew stern. Youre their Mum! If you keep it together, so will they. But if you fall apart whats to become of them? Im too old now, love. Promise me youll look after yourself!
Emily grabbed Dorothys hands, kissed them quick, and got on with the packing. She had to get away. Happiness was gone from this little flat, and wandering its familiar rooms, thick with memories, now felt unbearable.
Grandmas old house did not welcome her kindly. She knew it was her fault; shed left it behind, lost in her new life, barely giving it a second thought.
She walked the rooms, brushing her fingers along the walls, dusted off the old rosewood dresser, still covered by one of Grandmas embroidered cloths, and flung open the windows to the cold and blustering autumn air.
Mum, take the kids for now. Ill come fetch Lily when its time to feed her.
You sure youll be alright?
Of course
She wasnt alone for long. Half an hour later, the porch door banged and Sarah appeared on the threshold friend and classmate from school.
Mightve said youd show up! Still the proud one, eh? Which rags dyou want me to start with?
Sarah always was a whirlwind, fluttering and chatty, but shed do anything to help a friend.
Emily rinsed bubbles from her hands and gave her mate a quick, awkward hug.
Hi
Alright! Where are the kids?
Mums got them.
Right then! Well, are you stopping over at hers tonight, or staying here?
Here, I thought.
Well come on then!
Sarah wriggled free from the hug and scanned for a wash basin.
God, Sarah! Emily gasped.
What? Oh that Yes, thats how it is.
When?
February. Whyre you in such a tizz? Im pregnant, not dying.
Whos the father?
Oh, as if you dont know! Sarah swiped a damp rag over the windowsill. Ugh, the state!
Chris? But hes
Gone, yep. Ill be a single mum. Em, lets leave it for now, alright? Ill tell you everything, just not now.
Will he come back?
Chris? No. Freedom meant more to him. Thats his choice. But Ill have a baby, Em my baby. Boy or girl
You dont know yet?
Nope, playing hide and seek. Not that it matters. Its my child. Can you believe it? Mine!
Emily knew what that meant to Sarah. Her first marriage ended they said because she couldnt have children. Her husbands family turned on her, blaming her and pitying Nick.
Tough luck, Nick pretty wife, shame about the rest.
At first, Sarah cried into her pillow, tried to explain. Eventually, she left.
Better no husband at all than one who wont back his wife.
Nick married quick and soon it became clear the trouble was never Sarah. His new wife insisted on tests, and it turned out Nick was the reason. After treatment, she bore him a son, then a daughter right after.
Sarah was honestly happy for him. Shed forgiven everything, grateful life had turned out as it had. Otherwise, shed never have started anew, never known the joy now stirring beneath her heart. And even if Chris vanished the moment he heard about the baby, that no longer mattered. She was no longer the timid girl whod wilt under a sneer.
They cleaned all evening. But the work was worth it: the house seemed to breathe again, battered shutters blinking, murmuring, waking up.
Exhausted but satisfied, Sarah slumped at the table to watch Emily brewing tea, lost in thought.
How quickly things change, she thought.
Wasnt it just yesterday they raced here, snatched warm scones from a baking tray and dashed to the river, dodging Emilys grans shouts:
You two rascals! Will you ever sit and eat properly?!
Without slowing, theyd wave back, shouting:
Give us an hour!
That hour stretched till sundown. After helping Gran in the garden when the heat faded, theyd grab hoes and get to work. One woman on her own with a job at the dairy to boot couldnt do it all. Grans farm was big, because what else could she do? She had to raise Emily and help her son, now living in the city with his new family. Emily was her eldest granddaughter. Emilys mum died at her birth, unwanted by all. Her father, lost in grief, left for the city, and Gran was left to care for the little girl. Later, when Grans son had another child, she packed up Emily and went to town only for a while. Three-year-old Emily never learned why Gran suddenly got ready to go home, wept softly on the way, stroking her hair.
Gran died when Emily was barely eighteen. Shed just started seeing Sam, her head full of wild feelings and blind to how suddenly Gran faded away. Only when she heard a stifled groan in the night did she wake up.
Gran, whats wrong?
Three months was all they had. Just three months to say everything that mattered. It wasnt nearly enough time
But Gran managed one last thing. She called Sams mum when she couldnt leave her bed, sent Emily out, and spoke with her for ages. What was said, Emily never knew only that since then, shed had a mother.
She started calling Dorothy Mum even before the wedding.
May I? The question hung between them, and Emily sighed in relief at the gentle nod.
She could never tell anyone how much she wanted to say that word, just once. Until now, only Gran had heard her whole heart. But now, there was someone else who looked at her just the same.
She never quarreled with Dorothy. Why would she? All Dorothy ever offered was kindness and help. If she gave advice, it was gentle, loving. Why fight? There werent many people youre kin not by name, but at heart.
And Emily knew this for sure. Relatives sometimes didnt live up to the title, as her own experience showed. After Gran died, a whole delegation from the city arrived: her father, stepmother, and her step-grandmother.
Solid house! Worth a pretty penny.
A booming woman Emily had never met prowled the garden and shook her head.
Shame its gotten so shabby! Buyers like it neat.
What buyers? Emily finally came to and shook with anger.
The week after Grans funeral passed in a blur. She ate whatever Dorothy managed to coax her into, started chores and abandoned them, listening for some sound for a moment, hoping it was just a nightmare, and Gran would emerge from the summer kitchen, waving her dishcloth at the bees near the jam on the hob, grumbling:
Finished running about? Come help wash jars winters coming!
Which buyers? The step-granny shrugged, sundress slipping and showing pale skin, making Emily feel sick. Whoever buys the house, of course!
Emily didnt answer her. She bolted behind the shed to choke back the nausea. When she came back, Dorothy was already there.
Go on, leave! Now!
And who might you be, giving orders here?
This house belongs to Emily. Shes got the deed.
What deed?
Straightforward, and theres a will for the savings as well. I helped sort it all. Youve no business here. Out! Trying to rob an orphan, the lot of you!
The squall brewing in the garden didnt touch Emily. Dorothy snatched her by the hand and, moments later, was laying her on a bed, whisking off her ruined t-shirt.
Dont cry! No ones hurting you while Im here. Gran made me promise. Here, put on my robe. Its clean. Lie down, love. Ill bring you some tea. Rest, calm yourself, and then well talk.
Emily saw her father next only at her wedding.
She never invited him he just arrived.
The guests were laughing, teasing Sam, and Emily was giggling at her husband fumbling with a giant baby doll. Someone touched her shoulder and she turned, still laughing.
Hello, my girl
Emily was so stunned she didnt know what to say. Her father pressed a ring of keys into her hand and squeezed it.
Im sorry. Dorothy has the papers. Shell explain. Be happy.
Before she could reply, he turned and left the reception.
The flat her father gave her was small but homely. Two rooms and a spacious kitchen. Emily paced from wall to wall, uncertain why she should trade Grans house for this.
Em, its more convenient here. Its the city. More chances for you. You need to study.
Dorothy perched at the kitchen table, as pleased as anything. Shed managed to talk to Emilys dad, made him see his grown daughter. If hed not raised her, he could at least help. He had enough conscience.
Fair enough. But when? Emily smiled faintly at Dorothy.
Oh, come now
Honestly, its early days. I havent even told Sam.
Ill help. Enrol youre clever, dont waste that mind.
Emily graduated the local university branch. It was hard, but Dorothy helped as best she could. She watched Jack, brought groceries.
Things breathed easier when Emily started work and Jack went to nursery.
We’re off to the seaside! Sam laughed, clapping his ears as the ladies shrieked with joy.
It was their only real holiday away. Emily and Sam swam for hours, racing each other, watching Jack potter about in the sand under Dorothys eye. Later, theyd stroll along the pier until the stars hung overhead.
One evening, Sam stayed to take Jack on the roundabout while Emily and Dorothy ambled along the pier.
At the far end, a couple argued, voices ringing out accusations and hurt, shoving each other as they stormed away.
Dorothy watched them go and sighed.
Whats the point in it? Dont they realise every row is lost time? Theyll make up, but thats a day, maybe two, wasted. Nerves, resentment
What if they dont? Emily gazed after them.
People only fight like that when they care deeply. Did you see her chasing after him in tears? Shell forgive him for sure. And he will her you saw how many times he turned back… But that evening, that tomorrow nobody can give them those back. Maybe the night will heal things. Maybe not. You and Sam havent been together long. When you have been, remember that couple, and ask yourself if you want to squander your time on rows. Its so short, Emily, so terribly short
Now, Emily was so thankful for that conversation. They never wasted time with Sam.
She took the kettle off the stove, nearly dropping it. Someones shadow flickered at the kitchen window her heart jumped. It wasnt Jack. A man was skulking in the dusk outside.
Her first thought was to lock up, hide, shout for help, but then reason kicked in. The others would be home soon! And a stranger out there!
The warmth of the old kettle was grounding. Emily stared first at the steam, then out the window, then set her jaw and strode for the door.
The garden was dark shed forgotten to flip the switch when returning home.
Whos there?
The shed door creaked pitifully Emily shrank inward, the fear turning her breath to ice.
What do you want? Ill call the police!
A shadow moved towards the porch, and Emily stepped back.
Dont shout, Em. Its me. Alex.
Emily sagged, her grip on the kettle relaxing then yelped as the hot metal singed her thigh through her thin dress, setting it on the table on the porch, muttering under her breath.
Whatre you doing wandering about, Alex? Why didnt you knock?
The short, sturdy man stared at the ground just like Jack did when hed truly messed up, like the time he broke a gym window with a football.
I Its your shed door, its come off its hinges. I thought Id fix it. Im off to the hives tomorrow, might be gone a while. Wanted to sort it.
Emily was puzzled.
The shed door?
Only then did realisation dawn. The tidy garden she didnt clean, the newly mended fence, the planks at the old bathhouse
So youre the house brownie! I should have known. She beamed.
The what?
The house brownie! A little helper round here only this one doesnt touch the milk I leave out. Jack says I should get a cat. Lonely, otherwise. You lonely?
The kitchen light was just enough to show Alexs cheeks blazing red.
Sorry. I should have told you sooner.
Thank you. But why, Alex?
Alex just waved and vaulted the fence, not even seeing Dorothy and the children staring open-mouthed at the gate.
Hes shown himself at last! Dorothy chuckled, thrusting a milk bottle at Emily. Put this in the fridge.
What do you mean shown himself? You knew?!
What did you expect? Everyone in the village knows. Not much of a secret! Alex was sweet on you even when you were dating my Sam. Didnt you see his looks?
No
Are you kidding? Dorothy gaped. Youre not lying, are you?
Whats to lie about? Never saw
Right, lets have a chat. Once the little ones are in bed. Well need some time.
They talked nearly till dawn. Emily fussed over Dorothys cup, topping her up as she sat, mouth agape, listening.
He came to me last year, asking for your hand. Said you had no one closer than me so he was asking the right person. The cheek! But I liked him for it.
And you said yes?!
Why not? Emily, youre still young. Lifes ahead of you! The kids will grow, fly the nest, and youd be left just minding me, an old mushroom. What goods that? Live! I know how much you loved my Sam dont interrupt, let me say this. That sort of love, some only find once. Youre right. But some are lucky enough to love again, even through the pain. Be grateful for it, it means fates not done with you. Even if you never love anyone just like Sam, if its warm and safe with someone else, Ill be glad for you! And Jack he needs a mans hand as he grows. We love him, but thats not enough. Alex has been his friend for ages. Did you know hes teaching Jack to drive?
No
Didnt mention? Must be nervous round you.
Why?
Worried youll think its disrespectful to Sams memory, I suppose?
How silly!
Talk to Jack, reassure him. Hes attached to Alex, but hes afraid folkll misunderstand. Lilys small, knows little, doesnt really remember Sam. But Jack its more complicated. Anyway, lets
What about me? Emilys cheeks coloured.
Nothing at all! Dorothy grinned, dragged her cup closer. Pour us both another. Im parched!
Emily and Alex would marry a year later. The following year, Emily would have a second son.
Look at that mop, Mum! Emily would laugh at home, pulling off her newborns cap to smooth wild, golden tufts so like Lilys.
A right little brownie! Dorothy would deftly rewrap the baby and cradle him. Hello, then, new grandson! You can call me Granny Dot.
Mum
Im only saying! Feed your hungry one, Ill make something in the kitchen. What dyou fancy?
A great ginger cat, a gift from Alex to Jack, would peer into the room, sneak to the window ledge and survey sleeping Emily and her tiny, tightly bundled babe. Silence would settle with the cat, curl around him, and marvel in wonder. There it was happiness so fragile, so tender cradled carefully, gently.
Somewhere, a spoon would tinkle, Lilys laughter would ring out, and silence would slip from the ledge, tugging the cats ear for luck. Scowling, the cat would wash, preparing to meet the newest member of the family.
On you go! Theres no shortage of guardians in this home, after all.
