The Price of Arrogance
Lucy, could you lend me a few things? pleaded Emily, clutching her coat collar as she crossed the threshold of her sisters elegant London flat.
She couldnt help but linger on the wide hallway, the designer console table, the ornate gold-framed mirrors, the neat little bench by the door it all looked as if it had jumped straight out of a glossy home magazine. That familiar pang of envy stirred in her chest Lucys life was always picture-perfect.
Lucy, appearing in the doorway to the sitting room, regarded her sister with sharp, clear eyes. Even in soft cashmere loungewear, there was an effortless poise about her on an ordinary weekday, something Emily had tried, unsuccessfully, to emulate for years.
So, whats the big mystery? Lucy asked evenly, leaning against the doorframe.
Emily tugged self-consciously at the worn sleeve of her coat not new, but still respectable. She tried not to look at the enormous artwork on the wall, or the impeccable tidiness, or to breathe too deeply of the fresh coffee aroma filling the space.
Its nothing, really she mumbled, struggling to compose herself.
Lucy kept her gaze steady, and Emily realised defeat was inevitable. Drawing a deep breath, she blurted:
School reunion’s this Saturday. I have to be there! And I have to look incredible, you know? I want everyone to think my life is a total fairy tale!
Why does it matter so much? Lucy finally asked, turning away. Why go to all this trouble for people you hardly ever see? You’re not even in the same city anymore; you live all the way out in Manchester!
Emily ran a trembling hand through her hair. Just now, she longed intensely for a kitchen like this with a breakfast bar, built-in appliances, and those fabulous pendant lights. She wanted her mornings to start in a calm, pretty space with quality coffee, not the usual rush and chaos.
You dont get it! she burst out. It means everything to me. I want them to see I made it, that Ive achieved what I set out to do. I dont want anyone thinking I didnt make anything of myself.
Emily fell silent, realising she was gazing at Lucy with thinly veiled jealousy. Lucy seemed not to notice, or simply chose not to mind.
Are you seriously going to pretend to be someone youre not? Lucy asked softly, easing onto a stool. Do you really think thatll impress anyone?
Thats not it, Emily shook her head. I just want the others to think all my dreams came true!
Alright then, Lucy sighed at last. Lets have a look, see what Ive got, but promise me this is the first and last time you go deceiving others. Its hardly decent.
You just dont understand!
And Emily began her story
~~~~~~~~~~
Back at school, shed been the star everyone said so. Boys trailed after her through the hallways, keen for even a second of her time. Teachers, almost unconsciously, softened at the sight of her thoughtful face and that peculiar, wistful gaze it had a hypnotic effect on adults. As for her parents, they could never refuse her a thing one slight quirk of her eyebrow or a sigh, and what she wanted would suddenly appear in her hands.
She was used to getting whatever she set her heart on. If a new pair of trainers landed in the shops, the next day her mum appeared with them in a shiny box. If a good-looking new boy turned up in class, a week later hed walk Emily home. It became a game for her to see how far she could go, how many wishes would be granted, how many boundaries she could cross.
Because I can, she repeated to herself, like a charm. That became her motto, her catch-all excuse for anything. If a friend suddenly started chatting up a bloke Emily fancied, shed immediately step in and almost always shed win. She wasnt really in love with them; it was about the thrill could she turn his attention her way? The answer was almost invariably yes.
Gradually, her old friends started drifting off. First one stopped inviting her out, then another found new mates. It didnt worry Emily much thered always be fresh faces eager for her approval, desperate to enter her circle. She took it as just how it was: if someone couldnt keep up with her game, they werent worthy of her company.
At the prom, she felt like royalty. The hall, decked in bunting and balloons, was her private kingdom classmates flitted round her, desperate for every glance, every word. She owned the spotlight right where she always belonged.
Drunk on praise and her sense of power, she got carried away. When reminiscing about old times, she suddenly lashed out, throwing sharp comments at some of the girls. She dug up old slights, pointed out their slip-ups, threw in cruel remarks about appearances. It all came out so easily, as if rehearsed, her eyes ablaze with the old excitement how would they react, would they try to defend themselves?
My lifes going to be absolutely brilliant! Emily declared, chin high, sweeping her gaze round the girls. Her voice rang out, bold and sure, as if her dazzling future was already right there before her.
She paused, soaking up the attention, her confidence swelling:
I can see it now: a wealthy husband, granting my every wish; a grand house with staff; maybe even my own business but then, why bother? I never plan to actually work! All of it will just come to me, you see? Money, luxury, admiration itll all be mine.
Her eyes gleamed with excitement, a smirk played on her lips. She seemed to see it all: glittering chandeliers, posh cars, evenings in luxury hotels.
And as for you lot, she turned sharply to the quiet girl at the front row who always wrote down the teachers every word, youll become a teacher in some run-down school. Or maybe work at the till in a shop. Just a drab little mouse with no idea how to look after yourself. Emily looked her up and down with contempt. And your husband will be some factory worker, home late, drunk, probably giving you a slap or two.
Her words spilled out, not just mocking but gloating in her imagined uniqueness.
She turned to another, And you youll be stuck in some dreary office, counting pennies, wishing you could afford a new dress. Youll never have what I have!
Emily carried on, bestowing her grim predictions on each girl, adding scathing comments about looks, manners, abilities.
Eyes dropped, girls exchanged nervous glances, some managed an awkward smile, pretending it was all a joke. But the room was tense Emilys words cut deep, despite her show of flippant bravado.
She laughed at their crumpled faces, basking in the effect. Her laughter echoed through the hall; the lads, waiting for their queen by the door, joined in some in solidarity, some just not wanting to miss out.
She took it all as proof of her power, genuinely feeling she controlled everyones fate.
Emily picked a university not for any real love of the subject, but because it seemed the right thing to do more prestigious, more opportunities. In the city, thered be a better chance of meeting the right man wealthy students, budding entrepreneurs, ambitious men from the right families. And there was Grans flat, so no need to rent or live in a hall another advantage.
At first, everything went to plan. She decorated her flat, made friends, went to party after party. Emily was a hit the smile, the polished look, her knack for holding court. Compliments came thick and fast; she was sure that soon shed catch the attention of someone truly worthwhile.
Then, lectures began, and reality hit hard. The course was tougher than shed thought. Lectures needed focus, seminars demanded preparation, exams required real work. Emily was used to getting by on charm and surface knowledge; now, she was out of her depth. She missed lectures, put off coursework, hoping she could charm her way out as always.
But the first round of exams exposed her. She failed most subjects. Lecturers who started out lenient soon became uncompromising: Shape up, or leave. For the first time, Emilys confidence evaporated.
She realised childhood was over. The world was much more complex than shed imagined. All around her were clever, driven, attractive young women, and she no longer shone. Many classmates managed to study and work and plan for the future. Emily still lived off yesterdays plans.
She didnt resolve to study harder; instead, she clung to her old goals. Before my looks fade, she calculated. Her focus turned to snagging a husband as soon as possible.
She went on more dates, accepted invitations from older men, perfected her appearance every day. She dropped hints about wanting a real partner, about how important family was. The more desperate she grew, the more it showed, and the more it put off those who mightve been genuinely interested.
One man caught her eye; he seemed to like her back. But fate wasnt done teaching Emily a lesson.
Her mark this time was Benjamin, wholly suitable at least in Emilys eyes. His family owned a chain of clinics, lived in Chelsea, and moved in all the right circles. He was their only child, educated at a top boarding school, worked for the family firm, and looked set for a golden future.
Benjamin wasnt movie-star handsome: short, rounded, slightly hunched. But Emily dismissed this easily. A good-looking man with nothing to offer is useless, she reasoned. With him Ill have it all the status, the house, the financial freedom. She imagined herself as the lady of a grand townhouse, mingling at galas, jetting off abroad.
Emily had a plan. First, catch Benjamins attention, not too obviously shed bump into him at the right coffee shops or at the gym. Then, display her best traits wit, charm, intelligence. She curated outfits, weighed every word, crafted the perfect effortless image.
Eventually, she succeeded. They saw more of each other dinners, strolls, gallery openings. Emily sensed he was interested, so began dropping hints about marriage and finding ones person.
But she overlooked one thing: to Benjamins family, pedigree mattered. Theyd already chosen the perfect wife: a girl from their lot, with the right parentage and connections.
When Benjamin first mentioned Emily to his mother, she merely arched an eyebrow.
And who, precisely, is this friend of yours? What do her family do?
Shes a student. Her family are just ordinary folks, from Manchester.
Ordinary? his mother recoiled. Ben, our family is about reputation, standing, tradition. Do you want everyone saying the son of the Harpers married some nobody?
Benjamin protested, But shes clever, interesting
There are plenty of clever girls, his mother snapped. We need someone who fits in. Dont cause trouble for yourself.
All the while, Emily dreamed on picturing Benjamin meeting her parents, choosing their flat, everything. Until one day, he rang and asked for a serious talk.
He looked tense across the cafe table.
My parents they dont approve. They say were from different worlds.
Emilys insides twisted, but she forced a smile.
Does that really matter? Were grown-ups; we pick for ourselves.
For them, it absolutely does, Benjamin sighed. Theyve already lined up a suitable girl. Ive tried pushing back but I cant go against them. Im sorry.
After he left, Emily remained rooted, staring into her empty coffee cup. She didnt cry a dull fury boiled instead.
Why? I did everything right! Why is he so tied to his parents opinions? Shame I couldnt pull the pregnancy trick! Hed never have got away then!
The worst though, was yet to come. Word got about in his crowd that Emily was just out for a rich husband, using Benjamin to further herself. Rumours spread fast among this set.
Now, whenever Emily turned up at a party or her favourite cafe, she caught the whispers, the forced smiles, the knowing glances. Men whod once shown an interest now kept politely aloof. One even left as soon as he saw her a quick nod and off.
Emily pretended not to care, but she knew her reputation was in tatters, and as for a good match, she might as well forget it.
Returning home to Manchester was unthinkable admitting defeat. Shed told her parents so many tall stories, she couldnt imagine explaining the truth. Every call, she kept up appearances raving about her prestigious degree, her exciting part-time jobs in respectable firms, her well-placed fiancé.
Her parents listened with pride, retelling her tales to relatives. Emily pictured their proud faces and kept up the charade; she couldnt bear to imagine their disappointment, or to answer difficult questions.
Only Lucy knew the truth and that only by accident, after stopping by unannounced.
Come home, Emily, Lucy told her, seriously. Start over just admit you lied.
Emily sat up straight, wiped her eyes and said firmly:
Own up? Never. Ill keep fighting. Ill make this work out, no matter what!
And at the time, she really believed it. She carried on dating, networking, trying to force her way into the right circles. But the rich husband never materialised. Men lost interest once her absurdly high standards and refusal to compromise became clear.
Meanwhile, what was left of Grans inheritance the savings as well as the flat dwindled. At first, she made an effort to budget but then began cutting back: no more coffees out, less new clothes, goodbye gym membership. But the bills kept coming rent, council tax, food, and she couldnt ignore them forever.
Then, one morning, after counting the last of her cash, Emily realised she couldnt put off finding a job a moment longer. She scoured listings, hoping for something suitable, something worthy of her imagined self. But without a degree, or real experience, no-one wanted her.
And so, the former queen bee of school wound up somewhere unimaginable behind a supermarket till. The first weeks were hardest. Standing at the checkout, she felt the eyes of strangers the comments about how out-of-place she looked. She forced herself to smile patiently, scan groceries, say thank you and told herself it was only temporary.
~~~~~~~~~~
I got an invite to the school reunion yesterday, Emily finished, her voice low. I cant not go, you see! Otherwise, everyonell think Im a failure and too ashamed to show my face!
Lucy set down her teaspoon and looked at her intently, concern flickering in her gaze.
And what if they already know the truth? Lucy asked, carefully. What if theyve invited you just to have a laugh at your expense? You do remember what you said to some of them at prom not everyone forgets so easily.
Emilys head jerked up, her face briefly ablaze with anger.
Nonsense! she scoffed, flicking her hand as if shooing away a pesky fly. Im good at hiding. No one really knows. I just need to show up and prove Im still the one in charge!
Lucy leaned back, drumming her fingers on her mug. Something about the whole thing felt off. Why would anyone invite back someone whod delighted in humiliating them? Surely, no one could be keen to see again a girl whod once handed out cruel prophecies and looked down on everyone.
But Lucy kept that to herself. Shed long ago learned not to press her opinions Emily would always do her own thing, and then deal with the consequences.
Alright then, Lucy nodded, keeping her voice neutral. If youre set on it, then go. Just be sure youre ready for whatever happens.
What could possibly happen? Emily retorted. Itll be fine. Ive just got to pick the right dress, get my hair done Nobody will guess things arent perfect right now.
If you need help with an outfit or your hair, let me know. Ill help you.
Emily visibly relaxed, as if shed been waiting for just that.
Thank you, she breathed, Really, I need your advice. I want to look flawless. So no one for a second suspects anything.
**********************
Emily fled the restaurant, tears smudging her mascara as she went. The cold night air slapped her burning cheeks, but she barely felt it her legs simply carried her as far as possible from the building where, only half an hour ago, shed been trying desperately to play a part. Lucy was so right! What was I thinking coming here?
Yet at first, everything had seemed to work. The moment she swept through the banquet rooms doors, eyes turned her way. Shed choreographed every movement: the graceful stroll, the faintly amused smile, the careless glance at her watch all of it calculated to scream busy, important, but made time for you lot.
She quickly gravitated to a group who hadnt known her too well at school. And she began: husband abroad on business, huge house with a rose garden, four trips to the Med a year. She became so immersed in her lies, she failed to notice the sidelong glances, the half-concealed smirks, the derisive tilt in old classmates eyes.
She felt once more like the belle of the ball until:
Funny thing I saw Emily not long ago, a voice called, too loudly. It was a former classmate, one she barely remembered. And her life looked nothing like that.
The room grew silent. Faces turned her way. Emily tried to smile, but her lips betrayed her.
Yeah, and Ive got pictures, another piped up, rummaging for her phone. I bumped into her just last month.
Then, it began. On the big screen someone had managed to connect the phone photo after photo flickered up.
There was Emily behind the checkout at the supermarket, wearing the standard navy tabard, half-smiling at a grumpy customer, a name badge pinned to her chest. Then bent over a shelf, brows knit in concentration, picking out yellow-stickered bargains. Then clambering onto a bus home, clutching a shopping bag. And the final blow lugging heavy carrier bags through the battered front door of a grim block of flats, where she lived alone.
Someone snickered. Then another. At first muffled, then louder. So much for the mansion, eh? called one. Husband abroad, is he working at Tesco too?
Emily stood frozen, cheeks aflame, knees wobbling. It would have been nothing for most lots of people lived like that. But moments before, shed boasted of a life of luxury. Now, these unvarnished snapshots revealed all her lies.
Without a seconds thought, Emily spun and dashed for the exit. She didnt hear the jeers or see who tried to hold her back. There was only the freezing night air and her own tears, streaking down her cheeks as she ran blindly to the nearest bench, desperate to gasp a breath and work out what to do next.
She blundered straight into a man, stumbling sideways.
Are you alright? he said softly. His concern was so genuine, so warm, she faltered.
She looked up and saw a stranger normal enough, in a plain jacket, groceries in hand. But his open face and gentle worry undid her last defences.
No she whispered, her voice cracking. My fiancé dumped me right before the wedding
Some people never learn.
