Sometimes I feel like I’m an extra in the family

I am 12 years old and I am the eldest child in the family. When I was 4 years old, I had a younger brother. I waited for him and loved him, helped my mother as much as I could. The whole family just adored him, but they also paid a lot of attention to me, I did not feel superfluous.

But in the last year, everything changed drastically. I lost the desire to play with my brother (he is 8 years old after all), he doesn’t like it. He constantly bothers me, demands attention, and if I chase him away, he runs to complain to his parents, who protect him. No one babysat me when I was 8 years old, but I was more likely to entertain my younger brother myself. My parents always scolded me for tantrums, bad words, very rarely they could even hit me. My brother could only be threatened with having his games removed from his tablet, but of course no one does that.

Recently he had a tantrum at the mall about wanting an expensive gyroscooter. He got scolded a little bit, but my dad agreed to get that gyroscooter on credit that same day! Of course, now my brother rides it all the time. I usually for such tantrums, not only did not buy anything, but also deprived of the phone.

Once he threw a tantrum because I would not let him play on his tablet. Naturally, it was my fault again, because the tablet was mine. Whenever he says bad words that he picked up from his parents or friends, it is also my fault, because everyone is sure that I am teaching my brother foul and bad words. No one has ever told him what a bad temper he has, even though he really does, my mom has been calling me different words since I was 8 years old.

We have lots of great moments with our family, I love them all, but sometimes I just want to leave the house because they would be better off without me.

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Sometimes I feel like I’m an extra in the family