La vida
010
He Returned After a Year of Silence. He Asked If He Could Once Again Be My Husband.
He turned up after a year of silence, suitcase in handthe same battered leather case hed lugged out the
La vida
020
“It Doesn’t Look Right That Your Kids Will Have Homes While My Son Won’t—Let’s Get Him a Flat with a Mortgage!” Recently, my husband Anthony pointed out that my children have homes, but his son does not, so we need to figure out how to get his son a place to live too. Let me explain: my children are both mine and Anthony’s, while Anthony’s son is from his first marriage. Why am I the one expected to worry about finding his son a home? Of course, I always knew Anthony had been married before and had a child. That’s why I wasn’t in a hurry to marry Anthony. We lived together for three years before getting married. I paid close attention to how he felt about his ex-wife and son. A year later, I gave birth to our son. Two more years passed, and I had our second son. I’m happy with Anthony—he’s a good husband and father. He spends plenty of time with me and the kids and earns a good salary. Of course, we have the occasional disagreement, but that’s normal in any family. We lived in the flat I inherited from my father. My mother divorced him when I was still in nursery school. She’s since remarried but didn’t have any children with her second husband. Anthony and his first wife always rented. They saved for a mortgage for years but never managed to get one. After their divorce, Anthony’s ex-wife moved back in with her parents. Anthony rented on his own until we got married, and then he moved in with me. We never really discussed who owned the flat—we just lived there together, did renovations, and bought new furniture for the place. About a year and a half ago, both my grandmothers—my mum’s mum and my dad’s mum—passed away. They both left me their flats in their wills. While my sons are still young, I decided to rent out those flats. Later on, I’ll give each son one of the flats. At the moment, I give the rent from one to my mum as a supplement to her pension, and the other supports my own income—extra money is always useful. Anthony never involved himself in my property matters; after all, it’s none of his business. I made it clear that, when our children grow up, each of them will receive one of the flats, and he agreed. That was that—the topic was closed. Then, out of the blue, Anthony said to me: “My son will be finishing secondary school in a few years. He’s an adult now—he needs to think about his future!” I didn’t know where he was going with this, but listened anyway. “Your kids have homes! My son doesn’t! Let’s buy my son a flat with a mortgage!” he suddenly declared. I was simply stunned and had a million questions. First, I asked: why are our kids suddenly just mine? Anthony asked me not to nit-pick his words. “But my son will never inherit anything. I want him to have a home of his own!” “That’s great that you care! But your son has a mum and a dad—shouldn’t they be the ones to handle that? Why doesn’t your ex sort it?” Anthony explained his ex-wife doesn’t make much, her parents help her, and he himself can’t afford a mortgage alone. But, he said, if I help, everything will work out. Apparently, I’m expected to co-sign for a mortgage so Anthony can buy a flat for his son. The flat would be in the son’s name, but we would pay off the mortgage. “Between our two good salaries and the rental income, we could do it!” Anthony insisted. We could, but we’d have to save pretty hard. Plus, Anthony pays child maintenance for his son. When the boy goes to university, Anthony will help again, as his mum has no money. So, in the end, my children and I would have to give up holidays, trips to the seaside, and generally scrimp and save. For what? Just so Anthony looks like a good dad? I’d understand if Anthony had provided homes for our children and wanted to do the same for his eldest. But I’m the one who secured the homes for my children—Anthony had nothing to do with the properties. Why should I pay for his mortgage? I told Anthony straight away: if he’s so worried about his son, his ex should take out a mortgage, and they can pay it off with the child maintenance. “But I won’t have anything to do with it!” Anthony is furious and hasn’t spoken to me in a week. It’s a shame he doesn’t understand my point of view.
It doesnt look right that your children will have homes and my son wont. Lets sort him out with a place
La vida
04
I Buy Top-Quality Turkey Meat for Myself and Make Steamed Cutlets, While My Husband Gets Discount Pork Past Its Best-By Date I’m Fifty-Seven, Have Been Married for Over Thirty Years, Raised and Educated Our Two Children by Myself, Managed Multiple Jobs So Our Kids Had Everything, But My Husband Never Worked Hard—Now He’s Retired and I’m Still Working, Looking After Grandchildren and Doing All the Housework. Despite Asking Him to Get Even a Part-Time Security Job, He Refuses, Saying We Manage Just Fine. He’s Picky About Food—When I Get Home from Work, Sometimes He’s Eaten All the Good Stuff and Left Me Just Soup. My Friend Suggested I Cook Separately: Cheap Ingredients for Him, Quality Produce for Myself. So Now I Hide My Food, Say I’m on a Doctor-Recommended Diet, Stash Sweets and Deli Meats Away Where He Won’t Find Them, Thanks to Having Two Fridges. You Know How Men Are—They Never Notice Anything. I Buy Premium Turkey for Myself and Make Steamed Cutlets, Add Spices to His Old Pork That’s Nearly Expired, Get Him Budget Pasta While I Eat Durum Wheat. I Don’t See Anything Wrong with This—If He Wants to Eat Well, He Should Get a Job. At Our Age, Divorce Seems Foolish—Most of Our Lives Are Behind Us, and Why Sell the House and Split the Money Now?
I’m fifty-seven this year. For over thirty years Ive been married, and throughout all that time
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05
Recently, I Met a Young Mother Walking Down the Street with Her One-and-a-Half-Year-Old Daughter, Completely Oblivious to the World Around Her
Not long ago, I ran into a woman as she strolled down the street with her one-and-a-half-year-old daughter
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016
One Day I Saw My Beaming Sister Hand-in-Hand with a Distinguished Gentleman in a Shop – Both Wearing Wedding Rings
One day, I was meandering through Marks & Spencer and spotted my usually disinterested sister, Rebecca
La vida
019
“It Doesn’t Look Right That Your Children Will Have Homes and My Son Won’t—Let’s Get Him a Flat with a Mortgage!” Recently, my husband Anthony pointed out that my children have their own flats, but his son doesn’t, so we should figure out how to help his son get one too. Let me explain: my children are both mine and Anthony’s, while Anthony’s son is from his first marriage. Why should I be the one to worry about his son’s housing? Of course, I knew Anthony had been married before and had a child. That’s one reason I wasn’t in a rush to marry him. We lived together for three years before tying the knot. I carefully watched how he felt about his ex-wife and his son. A year later, I had a son. After another two years, I had a second son. I’m completely happy with Anthony, both as a husband and a father. He makes time for me and the children. He earns good money. Of course, we argue sometimes—what family doesn’t? We lived in the flat I inherited from my dad. My mum divorced him when I was very young. Now she’s remarried, but didn’t have kids with her new husband. Anthony and his ex always lived in rented properties. They tried saving for a mortgage together, but never managed it. After their divorce, his ex moved back in with her parents, and Anthony rented a place on his own. When we married, he moved in with me. We never discussed who owns the flat. It was just our home—we did renovations, bought new furniture. But a year and a half ago, both my grandmothers passed away. They left their flats to me in their wills. While my boys are little, I decided to rent those flats out. Later, each son will get one. Right now, I give my mum the rent from one flat to supplement her pension. The rent from the other helps with my income—extra money is always useful. My husband never interfered in my property affairs—it was none of his business. I told him from the start: when our boys are grown, each gets a flat. He agreed, and that was that. Then, out of the blue, he said: — My son finishes sixth form soon. He needs to start thinking about his future! I wasn’t sure what he was hinting at, but I listened. — Your boys have flats, but my son doesn’t! We must help him get a place—even if it means taking out a mortgage! — Anthony blurted out. I was stunned! I had so many questions. First, I asked why our boys were suddenly “my” children. He told me not to split hairs. — But my son will never inherit anything. I want him to have a home of his own! — That’s great you care—but your son has a mum and dad. Shouldn’t they provide for him? Why isn’t his mother doing it? My husband explained his ex barely makes ends meet, her parents help where they can, and he can’t manage a mortgage on his own. But, if I help, it would all work out. He expected me to agree to help buy his son a flat with a mortgage, in our names, but for his son. But WE would pay the mortgage. We both have good jobs and rental income—we could manage! Anthony pleaded. Yes, maybe we could—but it would mean serious saving. Anthony still pays child support. And once his son goes to university, Anthony will keep helping, because his ex can’t afford it. So, because of his son, my boys and I would have no holidays, no seaside trips—just constant scrimping. All so Anthony can look like a good dad? I would understand if Anthony had provided our boys their homes and wanted to do the same for his eldest. But I provided the flats for my children—Anthony had nothing to do with it. Why should I pay a mortgage for someone else’s son? I told Anthony straight out—if he’s so concerned, his ex can get the mortgage, and pay it from the child support. — I’m not getting involved! He’s furious and hasn’t spoken to me for a week. It’s a shame he doesn’t see my point.
I say, it hardly seems fair that your children will have flats and my son wont. Lets sort him out with
La vida
09
He Left Me for a Younger Woman. Then He Called to Ask If He Could Come Back.
He left me for a younger Lucy. A week later he rang my landline, voice tentative, and asked if he could
La vida
013
Recently, I Met a Woman Walking Down the Street with Her Eighteen-Month-Old Daughter, Oblivious to the World Around Her—What She Told Me About Her Family Troubles Left Me Speechless
Not long ago, I bumped into a woman out for a walk with her eighteen-month-old daughter, meandering down
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04
For Five Years She Thought She Was Living With Her Husband—But In Truth, She Wanted a Marriage Like the One She Had With Her Mum
14 March Sometimes I wonder if I ever truly understood what marriage was meant to be. For the last five
La vida
05
Fell in Love After Sixty: My Daughter Says She’s Ashamed of Me
I fell in love after I turned sixty, and my daughter says shes embarrassed by me. Mother, youve gone