My husband doesn’t give me any money and controls all my expenses

My husband and I fight all the time. We have been together for eight years. We have a little daughter. Now I am on maternity leave with a child. I have no earnings, we live on my husband’s money. But as for me, we do not live, but exist.

My husband earns well enough, he took a car on credit, and now he is paying it off. He gives 35 hryvnias a day to the family. I do not have enough money, given that every day you need to buy groceries, milk for the baby, not even talking about fruit. My husband refuses to give more money, he says that I need to pay off the car loan as soon as possible.

Today he reproached me that I spent $300 on myself for the last month. Can a husband really reproach his wife for such an amount? Do I not deserve these pennies? Shame to tears. When I tell him that I have nothing to wear just to go out for coffee with a friend, he tells me: “So what? I don’t buy myself anything either, so why should you?” While I’m not saying to buy some expensive things, but ordinary, for little money. To buy pantyhose, you also need to beg for money, and he will not give them if he is not convinced that it is necessary. And the need he has when I have one pair of jeans, and they are torn…

I do not think that a husband who loves his wife will behave this way, feel sorry for her. Is that normal? He lowers my self-esteem a lot. With him I feel depressed, unwanted, uncared for, I don’t feel like a woman. When I say that I do not have enough money that he allocates, he says: “Go out and earn it, if you can’t get enough.

He and I do not go out anywhere. The best he can do is go out to the nearest bar and have a glass of beer. And that’s on holidays. If I knew that my husband couldn’t provide more money for the family, I wouldn’t feel so bad. But I know he can. He can, but he doesn’t think he has to. Recently he said, “yes, I could give you more money, but you’ll spend it on some unnecessary clothes, and I think that’s a waste of money. You can dress at a thrift store too.”

And before he took out a car loan, he behaved the same way. I mean, it’s not about the loan. I’m already completely confused. I thought maybe I really want too much. But I don’t feel comfortable living like this. I don’t want my husband to save money on me all the time, to beg him for pennies. He doesn’t spend money on clothes for himself, but he demands the same from me. He does not allow the child to buy anything except the necessities. He says that I should be grateful to him for the fact that I have a place to live and something to eat.

I can’t understand this situation? Is my husband’s behavior normal? Or do I need to behave differently with him in order for him to change?

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My husband doesn’t give me any money and controls all my expenses