I have three children and five grandchildren. My daughters live next door to me, they each have two children, and my son went to work, so he stayed in Moscow. I have good children to be proud of. My daughters have been married for a long time and my son got married 2 years ago. All work and live well.
Of course sometimes I get upset that my son lives far away and we rarely see each other. And I would like to see him more often, especially since my grandson was born recently. I try to keep relations with my daughter-in-law calm and friendly, but I communicate mostly by phone. I have only seen my matchmakers at a wedding.
I would like to take more part in their lives, to help with the baby, it’s not a burden for me, I’m retired. I always helped my daughters when they were little. But I was politely refused when I offered to come and help for the first time after the hospital. Well, yes, okay, I was not offended, I understand that young people want to live on their own, and the second grandmother is nearby, will help if anything.
But here’s the last situation … I always told my daughters to keep their children’s clothes and toys in good condition to give then to his brother for his children. Personally, I think it is right and normal, especially among relatives.
I have reviewed all of these things myself, washed, repackaged and handed them over to my sister-in-law. There were clothes for all seasons, up to about 3 years old, these things were worn only by my nephews. We can say that there was a complete set of things that a child needs – a warm winter overalls, demi-season jackets, scarves, hats, pants, sweaters, all the little things – body, onesies, vests, a huge amount of tights and socks. Many of the sweaters, hats, I knitted my own hands. All the clothes are clean, washed, stain-free, etc. I have carefully selected.
But my daughter-in-law does not use all of these clothes, she only buys new ones for the baby. In no photos, nor when we talk on Skype, has she seen on her grandson the things I have given him. I asked my son, but he is joking. He says he has enough, there is no need to give him anything else. I am sure he is hearing his daughter-in-law’s words.
What’s the meaning of this? Is it a caprice or such squeamishness? The more so, they do not live very richly, only son is working now, and daughter-in-law is on maternity leave, with a mortgage and living expenses. Is it really impossible to take and use these clothes, save the family money? The child is growing up so fast, why spend money on new clothes to show off to her friends on the playground?
I was left with a very unpleasant residue from this situation. It’s not even about the clothes, but the fact that my son works 12 hours a day, almost without rest, to provide for his family. And my daughter-in-law doesn’t seem to appreciate this, since she is wasting money that could have been saved.
