Birdie
Val, what took you so long? Ive been waiting for ages! Sit down, said Anna, Vals neighbour, shuffling on the bench to get comfortable.
And what an evening it was, too! Why stay indoors? Theres only the telly and old Missy the cat in there. Boring! But outsideits spring! It might only be April, but its already warm. Even the little cherry tree, the one Annas late husband, Stephen, planted under the window, is awake and full of blossom. And the bench beneath it, which Stephen also built, is primed and ready for a natter. Anna painted it just last week, so now it looks brand-new. Its waiting, impatient, for the neighbours to sit side by side and start their usual gossip. About the kids, about aches and pains, about love and life.
What else do women talk about? Even if youve known each other inside-out for donkeys years, something new always pops up in conversation. Theres always some fresh little titbit. Children grow, the ailments multiply, and lovewell, love is never in surplus. If anything, theres always a bit too little. So you sit there, waiting for someone to share a secret, open-mouthed, holding your breath. You want to hear what its like to be properly loved. You listen, and it lightens your soul. Even if your own heart is quiet and empty, if someone has love, then it still exists in the world. It shines, it warms, it gives life
Anna, known to everyone on the street simply as Annie, had known Val since she could remember. Over fifty years, theyd lived on the same landing. When they were little girls, the mums never locked their doorsno point, really. They knew if the kids werent in one flat, they were in the other. Of course, they eventually remembered about locks, but only after Annie and Val went off in search of happiness.
They were about six then.
Annies gran had come to stay and shared some wisdom: the key to life is to catch the bird of happiness by the tail and keep it close. Then, everything falls into place, life will be smooth, and everyone will be happy.
The girls didnt really grasp the bit about life, but they remembered everyone being happy. After all, who doesnt want their parents to live in harmony and not squabble over silly things? So off they went, ready to hunt for the birdie.
Annie was certain she knew where the bird livedin the house next door! With that odd uncle with the creaky voice. Sometimes, he brought the bird into the courtyard. Gorgeous! All colourful and big, and it squawked strangely. But it had to be the bird of happiness; even at the zoo, where they sometimes went with their parents, theyd never seen anything quite like it.
The girls planned their capture mission meticulously.
They found an old cage on Annies balcony, where her gran once brought back a rabbit from the country ages ago.
Well, you cant just hold the bird by its tail the whole time, can you? Your handsd get tired, and then whod hold the ice cream that would surely materialise as soon as they got their happiness?
They took bread and biscuits. Who knows what the bird prefers? Val, thinking it over, added a nice sweet, just in case. Everyone likes sweets! How awful if the bird didnt take to Annie and Val just because of their snack choices!
They didnt rush. Big things, these! By the time they were ready, Annies gran had returned home, promising to have Annie stay the whole summer. The parents started packing for their holidaythey were going with the neighbours, both families squeezed into one car to save money. After all, the seaside was only a couple of hours away. Barely even time for a nap! The rented house, though old, was sturdy and had a big garden with swings. And the beach was just a stones throw away. Heaven!
Annie was anxious both for the trip and for the time with her gran.
But she felt bad for Val. Val didnt have a grannot a single one! Hows that possible? Who would spoil you behind the parents backs, or tell you a proper long fairy talenot just The Gingerbread Man, because there were dishes to wash and the laundry waiting for tomorrow? Whod knit you a hat that looked like a proper bonnet, with a lovely ribbon?
Annie thought, if they caught the bird, maybe Val would get a gran too. Perhaps even one from the same village as Annie. Then they wouldnt have to part for the summer. That was worth the effort!
The day before the seaside, they told their mums, as kids do, that they were off next door to play. Out they crept, careful with the door so it didnt slam, shushing each other not to giggle out loud, and headed down the stairs.
Their own courtyard, the next one along, and soonthe gloomy grey house where their bird lived.
But the courtyard was empty and silent. Too hoteveryone either at home or at work.
The girls exchanged glances. How on earth to find the bird now? There was no one to ask Vals lip began to quiver, her nose wrinkledany moment shed burst into tears. But Annie wasnt one to cry for nothing. If you have to, you have to! Otherwise, all their dreams about Val finally having a gran, about a box of ice creams and matching spotty dresses would go up in smoke instantly. Especially since the parents theyd start bickering again if Annie and Val didnt find this pesky bird!
Why pesky? Well, if it was a nice bird, it would be perched on the tree by the entrance, and they wouldnt have to look for it! But it wasnt there!
Annie looked around, grabbed Val by the hand, and marched to the entrance. No point gawping around. Something had to be done! They could always knock on a door and ask where the bird lived.
So many flats in that building and they were only in the first stairwell! Some people didnt answerprobably out. Others moaned at them for messing about.
On the girls went, rattling on doors whenever they couldnt reach the bell.
Where does the bird of happiness live?
Grownups, honestly. Such a simple question! Why not just answer? But no, theyd wave their hands and yell. One lady even threatened to smack them. Annie and Val quickly pegged it from that flat and memorised the green door with the odd handle. No more knocking there! Theres no way the bird of happiness would live with such a grump.
Only one flat turned out lucky. A slightly older boy opened the door. To their question, he just shrugged, Come in!
There was no bird inside, but there was so much else! Annie and Val forgot the timeand even why theyd come.
They examined scary masks on the walls, listened to giant shells that sounded just like the sea, and ogled a marvellous model sailing ship, complete with tiny sailors on the rigging.
Dad and I built it. Its called the Saint Anne.
Oooh, like me! Annie pulled her finger back from the sail, grinning wide.
Is your name Annie? Lovely! Thats my mums name, too.
And where is she?
Mum? At work. Shell be home soon. How come youre out all by yourselves? Wont you get in trouble?
And just then, the girls suddenly remembered about the bird, about lunch being long overdue, meaning theyd be missed, and about how miserable it was to stand in the corner for ages when mum is cross.
Val! We have to run!
Annie, clutching her friends arm, forgot about the cage and dashed for the door.
Wait! The boy caught up with them on the doorstep. Here!
The feathers were so beautiful, the girls stared in awe, mouths open, not daring to touch.
Whats this?
Peacock feathers! My mum brings them. She works at the zoo. Go ontake them!
Hardly daring to breathe, the girls accepted the gossamer gift and bolted home, not so much as a goodbye.
Only to be met by chaos!
Their mums, tear-streaked, darted around the courtyard, hollering for their girls. The dads smoked nervously by the door, waiting for the police, who had told them not to budge until instructions.
Vals mum collapsed onto the ground in the middle of the playground when she saw them.
There you are
Then followed everythingtears, hugs, and a good telling off. Thankfully, there wasnt much time left for any proper punishment.
A couple days later, perched on the swing in the garden of their holiday house, the girls shifted about, whispering:
You know, Val, we dont need any bird, really.
Why not?
Gran said happiness is when someone loves you.
And?
Well, if we werent loved, would they have cried like that when we were missing? Would they have been so scared wed gone for good? Hey?
I suppose
So, were already happy, arent we?
Maybe
I know we are!
What about the parents?
What about them? Did they argue even once in the past two days?
No
Seethey can get along. They just dont always want to. And no bird can fix that. See?
Yeah.
That ended up being one of the happiest summers in their shared childhood memories.
Anna always looked back feeling lucky to have someone to share these memories withand not just share, but to call on if something slipped her mind. After all, two memories are better than one.
And Val always remembered things better than Annie anyway. Maybe because she was the calm one? Who knows. Annie was quicksilverlively, energetic, forever rushing here and there. Val was the oppositeshed sit, think, and only then move, silently replaying everything in order. Haste makes waste, as the saying goes. And she remembered everything as clearly as if it happened yesterday.
Annie, when she met her future husband, didnt even recognise him at first. She saw him for over a month before visiting his flat.
The Saint Anne
The model ship was still in the same place, where two little girls had once gazed at it. And though they were both now twenty-threeand Val was already marriedAnnie felt like that child again, scared to touch the tiny sailor, in case she broke something.
After the wedding, she would take out the feather shed cherished in a favourite book all those years, and show it to her husband.
Remember this?
And shed laugh her head off as he tried to remember something that happened a lifetime ago.
And she was happy. For nearly thirty yearsfilled with worries, childrens first steps, illnesses which Stephen pulled her through, always finding the best doctors and holding her hand as the future hung hesitant at their doorstep. There came a day when time frozeand Annie simply forgot how to breathe, when her world and her air left with Stephen. And there was Val, right there in that momentpulling Annie round with a couple of sharp slaps, then hugging and rocking her like a child.
Hold on, Anna! Your kids they still need you.
And Annie came round. There was still happiness beside hernot quite what it was, now half-empty, but still given to her by Stephen. And yes, her children were grown up, but losing both parents at once would be too cruel. As Gran used to say:
As long as someone stands between a child and the skytheyre no orphan. A lucky child, that.
So true! So Anna knew she had to livefor the children, for the grandchildren. And even when, after some years, everyone moved out (work, independencelife), Anna knew she was needed and loved. She could pack a suitcase, load up on gifts, and visit her son or daughter. She was welcome everywhere. Or she could wait for the school holidayswhen all the grandchildren would gather in her house and the familiar chaos and delight would return. Shed lie awake again, listening to little snores beside her. And the big family bed she once shared with Stephen was never empty. Even her eldest granddaughter, shy, would hover at the door, and then quietly claim a spot beside the littlest ones. Shed listen to Annas stories, gasping in time with the otherseven though she knew them by heart.
Then peace would return, along with a gentle joyquiet and light as a feather. Maybe not as lovely as the one her husband once gave her, but just as cherished.
Not everyone gets luck like that. Some, no matter how they wish, cant beg happiness from the heavens. Anna and Val got lucky. They might not have caught the bird of happiness by the tail that day, but they never lost their happiness. Even as children, they understood what it meant for a woman. Happiness is different for everyone. For them, it was crafted and realised early on. As long as the children were healthy, the rest would follow, as long as you worked and wished for it.
Val wanted it and made it happen. Shed nearly ended up without children. Her husband and shewell, things didnt work out for having their own. Yet they loved each other like nothing elsethe neighbours were amazed, always together, inseparable. While others complained about their husbands, Val was quiet, not because she didnt want to share, but because she honestly had nothing but good to say.
They lived in bliss.
Annie used to think that was just a tale people told. Then she met Stephen. All she had to do was look at Val to see what real love looked like.
Vals family wasnt all easy, though. There was a crowd of relativesthe aunts alone, seven between both sides! And Anton, her husband, had two sistersawful, both of them! No one needled Val quite like her sisters-in-law. Anna understood compromise, but this was a bit much! They had to poke around in everythingwhere did she go, what did she do, what biscuits did she buy Always there, always picking.
Incidentally, Vals mother-in-law, Mary, turned out to be a lovely womanthe only person to embrace Val straight away, never once criticising her. Why her daughters turned out how they did was anyones guess. She raised her son well.
She was a gentle soul. Couldnt refuse anyone and had no idea how to argue. If in doubtshed cry! Val pitied her. Called her Mum from almost day one.
All together, all close by.
What a commotion when Antons mum sold her flat and moved closer to her son. The daughters protested bitterly. Mary didnt want to move in with Val and Anton, even though they suggested itshe bought a place in the next building. Didnt want to be a burden, she said, and besides, the kids only had two rooms. Mary already knew the couples plans, and never breathed a word to the rest of the family.
She knew what it was to keep peace in a familyshed lived it herself, when her husband left her with three kids. He helped out, sure, but it wasnt the same as living with the man you love, was it? Only years later did they really talk it through. Val played no small part there, supporting her mother-in-law through it all.
Turns out, it wasnt Marys fault at allthe husband simply found new love. Bizarrely, he thought loving someone new didnt mean hed stopped loving Mary. Like a sultan, honestly!
Mary refused to live in a harem, but at least she rediscovered herself. Settled down, started anew, and thanked Val for gently nudging her in the right direction.
It was Antons mum who helped Val and Anton find their son. She left her job at the city hospital and took a job as a maternity nurse. Thats where she found her grandson.
Val and Anton planned everything carefully. Val had never done things any other way, but she couldnt have managed without her mother-in-laws help. How to explain why theyd vanished for nearly a year? The couple had to leave for a whilethey knew the extended family wouldnt accept a non-biological child. When they came backwith a son! Where did you get him? When did you have him? Did you give birth?and Val shut down all questions. Anna knew it was the first time Val ever put her foot down and refused to let anyone meddle. The family muttered, of course, but seeing Marys love for her grandson, they fell silent. Clearly, he was one of us.
The sisters-in-law sensed something, but didnt dare push. Not because of Val, but because of Mary. Shed changedher patience had been used up. Any trouble, shed snap her lips shut and hang up the phone. Where had her softness gone?
Nowhere. She just knew an orphan needed even more love and care to get accustomed. All her heart went into raising him. She doted on the boy, helped Val, and by loving him, she managed to keep the little family together.
Thats what a real womana real motherunderstands.
And thats how they lived. Val with her husband and son. Annie with her family.
Not too shabby!
They stayed friends, holidayed together, kids always in and out of each others housesdoors open, none of this locking malarkey anymore. Although, they kept an eye out to avoid another birdie escapade!
Then Stephen passed away, leaving behind aching emptiness and abandoned hopes for growing old together.
And a while later, Anton died too. Hed never once complained about his health. Thrombosis, out of nowhere! He worked at the hospitalregular check-ups and all. It was missed
Val wasnt herself after that. That was Annies turn to step in, stopping her from slipping into a gloom from which few return.
Youve got a son, Val! Your parents! Mary, too! You cant fall apart. Whod hold them up if not you? Think! Would Anton want to see you drowning in tears for months? He loved you more than life itself. Do you want his love to be wasted? Hed never have approved
Maybe it was those words, or just Val knowing how many depended on her, but she managed to get back on her feet. Just like Annie, she learnt to carry onloving in new ways.
She saw her son through universityPaul became an officer. Hes always on the move with the army, but never forgets his mum. He brings the grandkids twice a year. If he cant, his wife, Sophie, brings them. Sophie and Val have a brilliant relationshipVal had a good teacher, after all. She made sure to be a smart mother-in-lawso she gladly welcomed her sons choice, questions or not.
There were questions, sure.
How could there not be, when Paul didnt just marry Sophie, but took on her child from a previous relationship? Actually, it was barely even a proper relationshipa boyfriend, then he disappeared, sent a letter from abroad: Not coming back, live your life. At least he did the paperwork for Paul to adopt the boy.
As for Val? She just pulled Paul aside the first time he brought Sophie to meet her, nodded, scooped up the two-year-old toddler, and said:
Hello! Im your Granny Val. Want a biscuit? No? How about we look under the Christmas tree? Father Christmas brought you something! Honest! I saw it myself. Come on, lets see!
What does it take for a mothers heart to melt? Not muchjust accept her child as your own, and youll have her love in spades.
Valentina understood that ages ago, and then proved it.
Which is why, these days, Sophie is like a daughter to her, and Val counts all the grandchildren, starting from the eldestwho, though not blood-related, is first and dearest to her.
Val, when should we get ready for the allotment? Its about time! Its warmed up, finally, Annie threw her head back to look at the cherry blossoms above.
This weekend, once weve finished the spring cleaning, well go.
Oh, goodness! I keep forgetting Easters early this year. High time for a clear out, isnt it?
It is. Ive got cooking to plan as well.
Your lot coming?
For two days, in passing. The eldest is hoping to go to university in London, so theyll pop by for a look this time, and stay longer on their way back. Maybe theyll leave the younger ones with me for a couple weeksyet to be decided. What about yours?
Mine wont come till the summer. The kids are in school now; terms not over yet. So more waiting for me.
Only six weeks!
I know, but it feels like ages!
Its always like that, waiting for something good. Time crawls, and then the happy moments just flicker past like a warm, gentle second, and then theyre gone again, until next time. But you know what, Annie?
What?
For that one second, Id give up everything. No matter how brief, you live on it afterwards, remembering happiness, like counting beads on a string. Thats what happiness isits only ever too little when you dont see how much youve been given.
Too right! Remember when we went hunting for the bird of happiness?
Of course I do! Val laughed, folding her arms over her ample chest. I couldnt sit comfortably for a week after! Mum was in bits, Dad thought I deserved a lesson. Not that you sat there grinning beside me, either!
True! But you know what, Val?
Whats that?
If you ask me, we did catch the bird that day, didnt even notice. All that time, its been flying right next to us. Its the only way to explain how we got everything so many women wish, pray, and never receive. Our families, our marriages, our brilliant children. And dont get me started on the grandkids! You telling me were not happy?
Im saying youre spot on! And our birdie could do with a thank you, too. May it give a wave of its wings, a flick of its tailfor the happiness of those we loveVal tipped her head back, gazing up through the white bristle of blossoms, and let a mischievous grin curl across her lips. Well, old bird, wherever you are, thank you from two silly girls who never quite grew up.
The petals shimmered above them, delicate and pale, and a sudden breeze sent a little flurry drifting down, one blossom tumbling onto Annas lap. She picked it up, spun it gently between her fingers, and smiled so wide her face glowed.
Imagine, she whispered, if happiness always looked so simple.
Val reached over, her hand warm and firm, and squeezed Annas. Maybe it does. It fluttered down to us, all right, bit by bit.
Around them, the evening deepened to gold, childrens laughter rang from the park, and somewhere a nightingale began to sing. The new paint on the bench still gleamed, the cherry blossoms drifted like snow, and two old friends sat side by sidequiet, content, and thoroughly happy.
The bird of happiness, never caught, never caged, settled invisibly on their shoulders and stayed a little while longer, as it always hadunnoticed, but ever-present as hope.
And so the two women sat, sharing one more secret, hearts light as feathers, watching another lovely spring slowly blossom out before them.
