My husband and I have been married for 15 years. We have two beautiful children (a 10-year-old son and a 2-year-old daughter), but lately our relationship has been deteriorating rapidly.
Our family used to inspire me, but now more and more often I catch myself thinking that all my husband does is suck up positivity, and provokes conflicts and quarrels. I am not a conflicted person, I try to talk to him, but it does little good. It is especially difficult to restrain myself in front of my children, because I do not want them to be witnesses of quarrels. On the other hand, inside I just want peace of mind.
I really don’t want to deprive my children of a full family, but it is dangerous to live in constant restraint of their emotions. Plus I need to think about all the actions very properly, to consult with a lawyer, to find a better-paying job, to balance their ability to provide for the children and find ways to achieve this, without the hope of alimony.
Hopefully my husband’s attitude will be the same, but I don’t think it’s probably a good idea to console myself with that. I start to remember how good everything was over the years, and I just push those thoughts away. But what if everything changes? It seems to me that if I allow myself to think about it, then I can get into a very difficult life situation. I could only hope for myself before, and I realize now that I am responsible for my children, too; I have only myself to fall back on.
I want to do the right thing, but not to become a victim of empty hopes for the best, and at the same time, how can I do this in a way that won’t traumatize the children?
