I just have no one to share my problems with.
I’m 40 years old. I am a loner all my life. Sometimes I’m bored with myself, I feel I’m not needed. When I was a teenager and some problems arose, I would like to share with someone, talk heart to heart, but there were no girlfriends, no mother around. She lived her own life – the household, the vegetable garden, her work.
When I was 17, I left my parents for a man twice my age and I was pregnant twice, but got no support from anyone. Abortion, abortion again. At 19 I came home, at 20 I started to live with another man, had a daughter, raised her on my own, without the help of my grandmother, and she didn’t really want to.
Now my mother needs help, and I remember how I needed a kind word, a hug, and I can not forgive her that all my life I was not needed. I cook something, go shopping with her, but there is no love. My mother has dementia.
I lived with my husband for 10 years, he drank a lot, and now he is completely drunk. My relationship with my daughter is tense, she seems to be doing everything against me – nose ring, three holes in her ears, short haircut, tattoo on half of her body, she is impertinent. One good thing is that she went to a big city, went to college, works and studies. And I after a divorce, and lived alone.
I have a major surgery the other day, and I don’t know if I’m going to make it. I feel very lonely. I want a girlfriend, to cry on her shoulder, drink wine, have a little privacy. I’d like to meet a man. I think I would love him very much! I just want to be needed by someone.
