I made a decision to distance myself from a close friend, or rather, to reduce the intensity of communication.
The essence of the story is not the reasons for this decision, but there was vampirism, selfishness, one-way friendship on her part. I have long seen that with her there is nothing to talk about except her pressing little interesting topics (more often her problems). Self-love was off the scale there, 90% of the conversation is about her beautiful, something new about her and did not want to somehow tell, as there is guilt, and the conversation dragged on her. She was always criticizing everything alien to her, in the style of “and why do you need it,” “clearly” or hidden devaluation. She always criticizes other people too, everyone is not good enough for her, she devalues everyone, she sees the world in black and white. After communicating with her I feel emptiness.
But I’m not a saint either, as I have led this friendship for my own benefit. The fact that she is my friend since college, and we have a habit of seeing each weekend in some cafe, new places, and this for me is the most enjoyable part of this friendship, because I love these outings. I’m tired during the week, my schedule is packed, and if I don’t do these outings with my girlfriends on the weekends, I just can’t stand it, I need this unloading like air. Here, therefore, is my motivation to continue such friendships. I, of course, have many female friends, and 3-4 other girlfriends, but not so close that every weekend to go out together. On the strength of a month or two months once I see them, and she has a tradition of going out, just on the machine every Friday we write to each other: “Where are you going this week?
Alone to spend time too little fun, though sometimes useful. Of course, I realize that it’s not nice, but it wasn’t like that at first, it was only the last 1-2 years I noticed that the friendship was a burden to me, I do not share her point of view and her thinking in 99% of cases, but I endure this friendship because of the benefits.
As a result, I made the decision to distance myself. I don’t write to her anymore (we used to text every day). At the weekend I said I was busy, meanwhile I went for a walk alone. But I feel that for a long time will not be enough for me. I believe that close girlfriends all come from school or university days. So I have the dilemma of cutting ties and staying home more often, or not giving up my favorite weekend getaways, but having a one-way friendship, talking about her and listening to her problems and her negative thinking.
Yes, I know it’s not nice and I’m likely to be criticized, but at least I’m admitting it and just asking for advice on how to do the right thing in this situation?
