I don’t want to make concessions to my daughter-in-law

I used to visit my son and daughter-in-law a lot. I tried to cook something tastier. They were fine with it, and my daughter-in-law was glad that I didn’t have to cook by myself. And I was pleased that my efforts were appreciated. I was very happy to have a warm and sincere relationship with my children.

But one day when I went to see them, there was only my daughter-in-law at home. We started having tea. Everything was as usual, but I could see that my daughter-in-law was still hesitant to say anything to me. After thinking about it for a long time, she asked me not to come over so often. She said it would be better if my son came to visit me. Hearing these words, I noticed some anger in her eyes.

After that conversation I naturally stopped coming to see my son. He came to visit us regularly, but always by himself. My wife never came with him. This pleased and saddened me at the same time. I had always tried to have peace and understanding in our family. But this woman ruined everything with her selfish attitude toward us. As far as I can see the situation, nothing depends on me here.

Recently our grandson was born. The joy of this event is boundless. My husband and I tried not to bother our daughter-in-law too much, so we went to visit them very rarely and only by invitation. We always tried to take our grandson out for a walk so we wouldn’t have to be in front of our daughter-in-law’s eyes for too long. In principle, that was enough for my husband and me.

But somehow she called me herself and offered to babysit her grandson at their house while she went about her business. The most frustrating thing about this was that she didn’t ask for help, she offered it. As if we needed it more than she did. So she can’t get over her pride, apologize for what she said, and just keep talking to us like human beings! We are her husband’s parents, we raised him well for her. Have we not earned basic respect and understanding from her with our attitude?

I weighed everything up and told her to bring her grandson to us, because she had forbidden herself to come to her house unnecessarily. I explained that I didn’t want to stay in their house for a long time and bore someone. After these words she got a little quiet, but then she agreed to bring her grandchild. We had a wonderful day, we had a great time with the boy. What a joy it is to have a little native child!

The truth is, now I’m worried about how to behave with my daughter-in-law. Continue to pay her the same coin, or be smarter and stop being offended? For the sake of my grandson, I am ready to take the first step. But it is not clear whether my daughter-in-law will appreciate it.

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I don’t want to make concessions to my daughter-in-law