My boyfriend and I have been together for six years, we live together, we have been dating since we were 16 and he is my first man. I never understood what good is sex. Just mechanical movements. I give pleasure to him, I gave up on mine a long time ago. Kissing, talking, tenderness we don’t have. And there’s no discussion about who likes what, either. He thinks he’s an expert in sex, and I don’t feel anything at all. But he doesn’t know that, he thinks everything is fine.
A month ago we had a big fight, I thought it was forever. During that time I was hanging out with a friend of his, but we just happened to kiss. I was overwhelmed by a strong unreal passion, I felt aroused for the first time in years, I could hardly restrain myself so that it did not end in sex. In our next meetings, there was no intimacy, only kisses, whispering in my ear and gentle touches. My body responded to every touch and word. I finally felt like a normal person, because for years I had begun to think I was frigid, at my 22 years.
My boyfriend and I made up. And now I can’t forget those beautiful encounters. I don’t want an intimate relationship with my boyfriend any more.
There are plans to get married and I don’t know what to do. I love him, he’s my own man, but this is even worse. I’m crying. What to do?
