I am 27 years old, married, with two children. But I almost stopped going out of the house and communicating with my family and friends.
I am from Central Asia and such behavior is simply unacceptable for a daughter-in-law. I am supposed to communicate with all of my relatives, go to all of their events, help them with everything, and visit the sick. But I don’t do that. I have shyness and fear. A huge fear of going out in public. My heart starts to pound, my pulse quickens, and I think I’m about to faint.
On the rare occasions that I get to go out, I get lost, I start to blush, everything shakes, and I speak out of turn. At my age, having kids is just stupid. But I don’t know what to do about it.
If I go to my son’s parent-teacher conference, I sit, counting the minutes, in silence. Everyone gives their opinion, and I am like a gray mouse. Just so they don’t notice me. Just an hour ago I came from a birthday party, to which I could not not go, because it was my niece. I’m sitting there, my legs are shaking, and it feels like everyone hates me and talks haughtily to me.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I see everyone as an enemy. This is my biggest problem.
I ask everyone, advise me what to do, how to get rid of it all? To go to a psychologist, again, mentality does not allow.
