Everyone helps out, but you just have to be special
“Claire, do you think maybe you could pop over tonight?” Carolines voice trembled with hope. “My husbands away, and its tedious being cooped up with the kids all alone.”
Claire pressed her fingers hard against the bridge of her nose, mind racing through a list of possible excuseseach more absurd than the last. She couldnt say work had called her in; Caroline would never believe that on a Saturday. Claiming exhaustion would only invite a deluge of questions, unsolicited advice, and pointed lectures. She bit her lip, drew in a slow breath, and braced herself to reply.
“Caroline, not tonight, Im afraid,” Claire added as much regret to her voice as she could muster. “Alices a bit under the weather, so we’re staying injust keeping cozy at home for now.”
A heavy pause filled the line, before her sister heaved a theatrical sigh.
“Oh, what a shame,” Caroline drawled theatrically. “Wouldve been nice to have a proper natter while the kids played…”
Claire rolled her eyes, silently relieved that Caroline couldnt see. The kids would play togetherof course. Alice would end up running herself ragged after the younger ones while the grown-ups lolled in the kitchen over tea.
“Yes, it is a shame,” Claire said, nodding as if Caroline could hear it. “Well catch up once Alices back on her feet, I promise.”
Caroline grumbled a bit more, wished Alice a speedy recovery, and hung up. Claire stared at her phone with a wry sense of recognition. The call had lasted all of four minutes. Not a single query about Claire herselfher job, her health, her spirit. Caroline had rung for one reason and one only: to see if the free babysitter was available. That was the sum of her interest.
Alice appeared in the doorway. Her eyes searched her mothers face.
“Aunt Caroline again?” Alice asked quietly.
Claire nodded, setting the mobile on the table by the settee. Alice curled up beside her, legs tucked under, a look flickering between annoyance and relief on her young face.
“Mum, I dont want to go to hers anymore,” Alice declared, voice steady.
Claire turned, eyebrows raised, waiting. Alice pressed her lips into a determined line, then let it all tumble out.
“Shes always pushing her kids off on me,” Alice scowled. “Says I have to keep them occupied, play with them, make sure they dont get into troublelike Im the help or something. Their eldest is only five!” Alice finished, indignation colouring her cheeks. “I’m not her nanny, Mum.”
Looking at her nine-year-old, Claire couldnt help but smile. Alice already knew how to articulate what bothered her, to stand up for herselfunafraid to voice exactly where her boundaries lay. Claire felt a swell of pride rise in her chest.
“Dont worry,” Claire brushed Alices hair back tenderly. “No more of that, love. I promise.”
Alice gave her a grateful smile and disappeared into her room.
Claire let her head fall back, eyes roaming the ceiling as her thoughts drifted. Their family was such a muddle. Caroline, four years her junior, with four childrenfour! Claire shook her head. She herself had only Alice, barely more than a child. So many years still to invest time, love, patience into her. Caroline, though: four, all at once.
She massaged her temples and squeezed her eyes shut. Caroline always expected everyone else to muck in with the childrearing: their parents, Patricia and Richard, first drafted in; followed by Carolines in-laws, neighbours, friends, even distant relatives. The whole clan worked around the clock for Carolines little ones. Everyone except Caroline herself.
Claire gave a short, humourless laugh. Shed always felt differently about these things. Only in true emergencies would she turn to her mother for helpwhen she was ill herself, or work threatened her job, or when something made coping alone simply impossible. Anything else, she managed on her own. It had been tough, especially in those early years, but she had managed. Nothing catastrophic had come of it. Alice was turning into a splendid childindependent, clever, strong-willed.
Caroline, on the other hand, grew bolder in her demands every year.
Shaking off the heavy thoughts, Claire stood and left the living room. She hadif nothing elsewon herself a small triumph today, free from her sisters clutches. The ordinary Saturday chores refused to wait any longer. Claire sighed, wandered into the kitchen, and set about unloading the dishwasher.
Days blurred past in the dance between duties at work and home. The following Friday, her phone buzzed. Carolines name flashed on the screen. Claire exhaled deeply before answering.
“Hows Alice?” Carolines voice had a sticky, saccharine edge. “Is she right as rain now?”
“Shes fine, thanks,” Claire replied, leaning a shoulder into the wall. “Bouncing around already.”
“Brilliant!” Caroline was instantly lively. “Well, you absolutely must come over this weekend and stay the night!”
Claire rolled her eyes skywards. Here we go again: another round of negotiations.
“I get so lonely here, you know,” Carolines tone turned plaintive. “Kids are climbing the walls, and my husbands off on business again.”
“Sorry, Caroline, cant do an overnight,” Claire shook her head even though her sister couldnt see. “But I could drop by for a cup of tea tomorrow morning?”
A sulky silence smothered the line. Clearly Caroline had hoped for more, but after a brief struggle, she conceded to a fleeting daytime visit.
Saturday dawned grey and chilly. Claire shrugged on her coat, locked up behind her, and set off alone. The journey took her half an hour on the bus, with a slow, ten-minute stroll at the end.
Caroline flung open the door, immediately craning her neck for signs of Alice.
“Wheres Alice?” Carolines eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“Shes busy,” Claire said as she passed over the threshold. “Revisionshe’s got a test looming.”
Caroline pulled a face as though shed sucked a lemon. She slammed the door, irritation etched in every movement.
“Your daughters getting a bit difficult, isnt she?” Caroline folded her arms. “She never visits, never rings, never writes.”
Claire slipped off her coat, hooked it by the door. Somewhere within, Carolines children screeched and things crashed to the floor. She met her sisters glare head-on.
“Shes weary of being your unpaid nanny,” Claire replied, cool as you like.
Red bloomed instantly up Carolines neck. Her eyes glinted fiercely, jaw set.
“Its normal!” Caroline barked. “Older ones ought to help care for the younger ones!”
“No, it isntnot with children that arent her own,” Claire stood firm.
“Rubbish!” Caroline flung up her arms. “Theyre her cousins!”
“Shes only ten, Caroline. Shes still a child, not some sort of help,” Claire clenched her fists to keep her composure.
Caroline advanced, eyes burning. Somewhere, a toddler wailed, but she didnt so much as twitch.
“Itll do her good!” her sister stabbed a finger at her. “Children need to learn to look after little ones!”
“Not like this, she doesnt!” Claire’s voice quavered with restrained fury. “She doesnt have siblingsshe shouldnt be saddled with yours.”
“Exactly,” Caroline shouted. “So mine should be her trial run!”
Claire stepped back, stunned. Caroline wasnt even trying to hide it anymore.
“Do you hear yourself?” Claire shook her head. “You want to use my child for free childcare!”
“And what of it?” Caroline planted her fists on her hips. “I cant cope on my own!”
“Then maybe you shouldnt have had four, Caroline,” Claire snapped before she could reel it in.
Caroline reeled, face thunderous, neck veins bulging.
“Youve nearly got a grown-up!” she shrieked. “She could pop round after school every other day and lend a hand!”
That was it. Something shattered inside Claire; all the old grievances came flooding out.
“Youve lost all sense, havent you?” Claire hissed. “You spin your responsibilities onto everyone you know.”
“Im only asking for a bit of help!” Caroline protested, voice trembling.
“No, youre not. You expect it,” Claire wrenched her coat from the hook. “You genuinely believe the world owes you.”
“What of it? Mum and Dad help! My mother-in-law does too! And youyou’re just being difficult!”
“Mum and Dad arent exactly spring chickens,” Claire tugged her sleeves, fighting tears. “They deserve a rest, not endless hours with your brood.”
“Theyre delighted to help!” Caroline grabbed her by the sleeve.
Claire yanked free, retreating to the door. Caroline stood shaking in the hallway, cheeks flushed.
“Were not coming here again,” Claire announced, flinging the door wide. “Find yourself another nanny.”
Not bothering to look back at Carolines howls, she stepped into the cold, slamming the door with a satisfying bang.
The phone rang again that eveningMum, her name blazing on the little screen. Claire braced herself and picked up.
“Claire, what have you done?” Patricias voice was tightly wound with outrage. “Carolines in bits utterly beside herself! Youve pushed your sister to a breakdown!”
“I just told her the truth, Mum,” Claire sat on the sofa.
“What truth?” her mother snapped. “That youre refusing to support your own sister?”
“Theres a difference between helping and being a doormat,” Claires grip on the phone tightened.
“Shes on her own with four children, Claire. Four! Her husbands always away! Shes run off her feet!”
“That was her choice, not mineand certainly not Alices.”
“Alice could look after the little ones from time to time! Honestly, everyone helps Carolineexcept you, you always have to be special!”
“No,” Claire cut in, sharp as a blade. “My daughter wont be anyones nanny, not for cousins or anyone elses children.”
“Theyre family, not strangers!” Mum was nearly shouting now.
Claire crossed to the window. The day outside was draining away, lamplight flickering along the road.
“Mum, if you and Dad are happy to spend your retirement babysitting Carolines children, then go ahead,” Claires voice was determined. “But I never signed up for that.”
“Youre selfish!” her mother accused. “Youve always only cared about yourself”
“I have my own family,” Claire replied, unflinching. “A husband, a daughter of my own. I wont live my life for my sister.”
She pressed end call before the rebuttal could come. She dropped her phone on the sofa, burying her face in her hands.
Soft arms slipped around her waist. Alice nestled into her back, laying her head on her shoulder.
“Mum, I heard everything,” her daughter whispered.
Claire turned, pulling Alice tight, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair.
“Everything I do is for you,” Claire murmured, stroking her daughters head. “And nothings going to change that.”
Alices eyes sparkled as she gazed up, a smile full of gratitude and love blooming on her lips.
“I know, Mum,” she squeezed Claires hand. “Thank you.”
They stood in the quiet, looking out over the evening cityjust the two of them, side by side. Somewhere else, Caroline was no doubt pouring her heart out to her mother-in-law; Mum was probably ringing all the aunts, lamenting her heartless eldest daughter. But in this little home, there was peace and understanding.
Claire had made her choice, unwilling to turn back now. Even if it cost her sister and mother. Alice was worth ither childhood, her freedom, her right to simply be a child.
