Blue Stocking
Ellie, could you cover for me tomorrow? Please! Its my mother-in-laws birthday and I need to go wish her well.
But didnt you say it was her name day just last month? Ellie looked up from the stack of forms.
Ellie, why do you have to make a fuss about everything? That was her name day! This is the actual birthday! You know I need this. Its not like its hard for you, is it? You dont have kids, you dont have a husband! Just you on your own! Oh Sorry! Didnt mean that
Irene clapped her hand to her mouth, but it was too late. Ellie turned away, gave a quick nod, and slipped out of the reading room.
Well, that went badly, Irene shrugged and glanced at Lucy.
Not someone you could push around, Lucy. Shed see right through that and just tell you off straight away. She might be a librarian, but Lucy thought a modern woman should stand up for herself. Ellie used to be terrified of her rants, while Irene would laugh her head off.
See, thats proof not all librarians are blue stockings like you, Ellie! Look at me and Lucy! Thats how you ought to live! But you, you just sneak between work and home, with your scarves and your cats An old maid! Oh, sorry for being blunt but, honestly, who else is going to set you straight? Why are you like this? Youre pretty, you know! Lovely complexion, a real catch! But anyone with eyes can see youre unhappy Right, Lucy?
Lucy usually tutted at Irene and cut her off. Thats enough. Who put you in charge of life lessons? Youve had more flings than a box of party crackers! And wheres it got you? Now youre living with Gavin, who either gives you a black eye for nothing or goes out all night. And you reckon youre the one who should teach us about life?
At least Ive got a husband! And kids! Whats Ellie got? Another furry companion? Soon all those cats will push her out the house and shell have to move into the library herself! Ellie, why dont you just have a baby for yourself? Forget the husband bityour parents werent poor, they left you something. You could raise a child without a bloke. At least you wouldnt be alone.
At those words, Lucy would just let rip and Irene would make her excuses and dash off, while Ellie would retreat to the farthest corner of the reading room, trying to hide her tears.
Why did she deserve this? Was it her fault her life hadnt worked out? First her dad, then her mum got ill nearly fifteen years of caring, washing sheets and everything else. Where was she supposed to find a personal life in all that? And its not like men were queuing up. Ellie looked in the mirrorplain, but not unattractive, somewhere in the middle. Grey eyes, nice features, thick plait she only recently chopped off for a practical short cut after her mother died.
Otherwise, she was just average, really. No bad habits, no big dreams. Shed look around her and the mess of her friends lives would make her shudder.
Look at Irenesure, shed managed to get married, but at what cost? The whole village knew Gavin had another family. The dramas between them were legendarybreaking up, making up, shouting matches in the street for all to see. Irene used to say people will gossip anyway, so she may as well be open about everything. Fair enoughit was her right, but Ellie couldnt understand why youd want to live like that. Where was self-respect? Where was pride? But what did the books, Ellie loved so much, know about real life? Its all well and good to talk about pride when youve got a couple of holiday homes and a rich uncle, but two kids, a librarians salary and a sick mother? You just get on with it. So Ellie didnt judge Irene, unlike some; she tried to see her point. Not that it always worked, but at least the sharp sting of things Irene said hurt less.
If something serious happened, Irene was always the first to step in and help. While looking after her own mum, shed become an expert at injections and drip setups. When Ellie couldnt find a nurse for her mother, Irene just came round in the evening and did whatever was neededand kept coming, every three months, all for nothing.
Trying to insult me? shed snap, glaring playfully at Ellie, who was holding out some money. Put that away! Dont be daft! Its not hard for me. Good job were neighboursjust two doors down, dont even have to go outside! And now you want to pay me! Shame on you, Ellie!
Ellies face would burn with embarrassment and shed mutter apologies. She tried to repay them by knitting scarves and hats for Irene and her kids, handing over a pair of bullfinch mittens shed spent weeks on. Irenes daughter only wore them on special occasions, scared to lose them.
So pretty! But what if I drop one?
Irene, twirling the mittens in her hands, got thoughtful and told Ellie she ought to open an online shop.
Theyd go like hot cakes! Thats art, that is.
Ellie considered it and then shook her head. I cant knit that many, theyre all one-offs.
Get the local grannies involved, those ones nattering on the bench outside. They could do with something to do. Little pension top-up for them, help for you.
Oddly enough, it worked. Maybe Irene really did have a knack for business, despite channelling all her energy into battling for a happy family. The website got up and running and orders came in. Nothing massive, but it made life easier for Ellie, and the grannies didnt complain. So every evening the club perched on the bench with their needles and hooks, discussing new designs with Ellie and Irene.
Look at thisstraight from London Fashion Week. Auntie Val showed me this doily, same pattern! Change it a bit and youve got a brilliant skirt. Id wear it myself.
Ellie would get to work and, a couple of weeks later, Irene would be swanning around in a new skirt, and a fresh picture would go online.
Of course, it wasnt big money, but something trickled in, and suddenly Ellie felt like a real businesswoman. Maybe she wasnt so useless, after all?
Lucy, watching all this, would snigger but sometimes joined in, giving tips and even getting stuck in. She could make beautiful needle lace, thanks to her gran, but never had much free time.
Gran always said itd come in handy. She was right.
Lucys pieces were the most expensive ones in Ellies online shop. Nobody questioned it when Lucy was perched by the window, needle in hand; they all knew how much she relied on the extra money.
Her husband left just after the twins were bornan artistic soul, always finding himself, though never at home with Lucy. At first, she went along with it, following her mums advice that no one can replace a childs father. Eventually, Lucy spoke up: And what have you actually done for her? Her husband vanished for good after learning she was expecting twin boys.
Lucy wasnt one to mope. She had her job and her country parents, still working their land, giving veggies and eggs, so she barely knew what a weekend wasshe was always in the village when not at the library. What else could she dothere were kids to raise.
Her kids were lovely, and Ellie sometimes wondered if, certain her children would be as wonderful, shed follow Irenes advice and go it alone.
But giving birth for herself terrified Ellie. She didnt want to be alone in this world; her family was gone, her friends had their own dramas. What if something happened to her? Where would her child go? The council? Foster care? That wouldnt be fair on a childjust because their mother felt lonely. No, shed stick to cats and scarves. Responsibility couldnt be avoided.
What Ellie didnt know was that the entire club, led by Irene, was already on the lookout for a husband for her. In a village where decent men were as rare as hens teeth, theyd sized up every eligible bachelor to no avail. So they kept hush, not wanting to upset Ellie. Only Irene occasionally let it slip and later kicked herself for her big mouth.
Eventually, a candidate turned up. Completely unexpected. Neither Irene, nor the grannies, nor even Ellie herself, could have seen who fate would send her way.
The day started like usual. Ellie wiped away tears and agreed to cover Irenes shift. She thought shed get most of the work done that evening, so the next afternoon she could work on her website and upload some photos. One piece in particulara white lace dress Lucy had designedwas to be her shops showcase.
Wedding dress Its gorgeous, Lucy! You really do have golden hands.
Tell that to my twins! I left the room for two minutes and caught them with scissors at the hem! Neat little snipsI almost missed it. I spent all night fixing it, but its right as rain now.
That was the dress Ellie was desperate to photograph and upload, and on her way home she turned various advertising lines over in her head.
She was so lost in thought climbing the stairs she almost missed it.
Help
The voice was just barely audible over the usual evening sounds of the flats. Celebrations, shouting matches, kids thundering up stairs while Ellie shouted at them to hush so she could hear anything useful.
Help
This time, no doubtsomeone needed help.
The block was old, mostly pensioners now. Some lived with family, some alone. Ellie knew them all. These were the old folks whod helped her care for her parents, a few of them were in her knitting club; the rest smiled, wished her a good husband, a houseful of babies.
One of these old friends was Mrs. Agnes.
Shed been her mums friend, taught maths at the local school, and always had a clear answer whenever Ellie stopped to chat.
My health? Oh, dont fuss, Ellie love, its long gonebut Im not! Tell me, how are you?
The thing was, Ellie never talked about her personal life, but with Mrs. Agnes she found herself opening up, and got wise, gentle advice in return.
Ellie, live as you want. Dont mind the rest. Their lives, your life. Who says we must only live one way? Silly idea, that. If you wear someone elses boots, will they fit? No? There you go. People just try to squeeze us into their size. You want to get married just because its time? Why? For whom? Have a child out of a sense of duty? Believe me, as a teacher Ive seen enough unhappy children from joyless, duty-bound marriages. The parents cant stand each other, and who suffers? The children, of course.
Those chats calmed Ellie. Maybe she wasnt so odd after all.
Agnes herself had been married almost 50 years. Met her husband at university, travelled half of England with him, then settled in this village. They never had children, but her former pupils never forgot her, always sending greetings on holidays, sometimes visiting.
My children! Agnes would beam whenever someone remembered her.
Her husband had passed a few years back, and Ellie, worried for her sanity, brought her a kitten shed found dumped outside.
Hes a bit lost, like us. What do you think, Mrs. Agnes?
She accepted the kitten gratefully, and Ellie was pretty certain the little chap, whom Agnes named Reggie, kept her goinghe needed his fresh fish every morning, after all! No time for gloom when a cats stomach is rumbling.
So thats how they went oncat and pensioner, propping each other up, content with the world. Agnes very rarely asked for help, proud of sorting herself out.
But it was from her flat the weak cry for help came now.
Ellie didnt hesitate. She took the stairs two at a time and battered the door of the wardens flat.
Mrs. Green! Its an emergency!
Mrs. Green, sensible as she was, usually wouldnt even think of breaking into a neighbours flat, but with an ambulance not turning up for hours and the local constable nowhere to be found, she decided enough was enough.
Let them arrest me! What do they think we arecriminals?
She had spare keys for nearly every older residents flat, just in case.
The door swung open, and Ellie and the gathering crowd recoiled.
Agnes was sprawled halfway in the bathroom, head bleeding from a fall. She couldnt moveher leg hurt, her arms wouldnt work. She wasnt sure how long shed been there, unconscious. When she came round, there was nothing she could do but shout and hope someonea neighbour who didnt use the liftwould hear.
In the end, it was Ellie who heard
Ellie who did everything needed, stayed with Agnes until help came, and then decided enough was enoughnobody ought to be left like this, especially when the world got too much.
Agnes spent nearly half a year in hospital, slow to recover. Ellie visited, looked after her when she came home. Eventually, tired of running up and down all day, she moved Agnes in with her. She was used to looking after someone, after all. Irene scolded her for being softbut that evening phoned Agness doctor and popped round with supplies.
Well have you on your feet in no time, Mrs. Agnes! None of your nonsense about being a burden!
At first, Agnes protested that she was ruining Ellies life, but soon realised it wasnt from dutyEllie just had a kind heart.
Theres no one else like you, Ellie dear! What are the angels even doing? If they arent keeping an eye on you, then who?
Slowly, Agnes recovered, and life in Ellies flat changed. Evenings became lively, listening to Agness stories, breaking up the cats squabbles, laughing at Reggie, who thought Ellies two rescue cats needed a leader. Her pampered pair definitely werent keen, and regular howling, furry brawls spun around the flat. Reggie would mope off and complain at Agnes about the unfairness of life.
Never mind, Reggietimes are changing. The harems are history now.
Hed snuggle up, purring, certain all was well.
Ellies life, which had fallen into a quiet routine, suddenly broke out into a much more exciting little jig, and before she knew it, all her careful plans were swapped for something quite new.
It all started one evening when the doorbell rang.
Irene, is that you? Ellie paused the film she and Agnes were watching and went to open the door.
A man stood on the threshold. Ellie stared, mystified, unsure why this grumpy, bearded bloke in a battered leather jacket and faded jeans was standing in her hallway.
Yes? Can I help you?
Hello. Does Mrs. Agnes live here now?
And you are?
Just an old friend, come to visit.
Ellie hesitated. Agness cats bolted past her, and Reggie was winding round the mans legs.
Oh, Reggie! Hello old chap!
The strangers rough face broke into a sunny smile as he scooped the cat up, and any trace of menace vanished. With a grin, Ellie opened the door wide.
Come in, then.
When Agnes saw her visitor, she was all flustered and beaming.
George! My dear boy! What a surprise!
I was passing through, on my way to Cornwall for a biker meet. Thought Id check in. Its been ages.
Sorry, my dear! Ive not kept in touch. Meet Ellie, my guardian angel and the best woman youll ever meet.
And then, to Ellies amazement, George looked bashfully at the floor, blushing like a teenager.
Lovely to meet you
And Agnes, clever as ever, realised before anyone else what was up. Straight away, she found a dozen little jobs for George and did everything possible to keep him around with Ellie longer than the expected hour or two.
George only left two days later, and even then, it was for a very short time. Within a fortnight, he was backand suddenly Ellie found herself a fiancée.
George, we barely know each other Is this right? She just couldnt believe it was happening.
Does it matter, Ellie love? Were adults. We dont need anyones approval.
When Ellie told Irene and Lucy, both of them just stared for a moment.
Ellie, do you Oh, never mind, not going to ask if you love himyoure not a teenager! Is he a good man?
Why are you talking as if Im over the hill? Ellie laughed, and Irene just gazed at her.
Shed been a grey little mouse the day before, but nowshe was radiant, glowing, practically regal. Thats what love does to people.
Oh, ignore me, Ellie! Just be happy! Lucy, we should take that dress down from the shop.
I already did, Lucy grinned. So dont worry about your wedding outfit.
The village had never seen a wedding like itbikers motorcade and all. People peered from windows and gossiped.
Whos all that for?
Elliethe librarians getting married!
No! Well, good for her! Lovely lady! Whats the groom like?
Decent sort. Looks trustworthy.
Three years later, George would help Mrs. Agnes out of the car at the hospital. Shed brush him off briskly,
I can manage! You go fetch your son, George!
Ellie, in a new dress made by Lucy, would adjust her hair and call the photographer over.
Everyone together! I want you all in the first photo with my son!
The club, Lucy and her kids, Irene and her family, Mrs. Green, all crowded onto the hospital steps. Because, after all, there can never be enough good people.
