Envy on the Edge
“Thats exactly what I need! Hell never guess hes not seeing his own fiancée”
Alice stood in front of the mirror, examining her reflection with forensic attention. She slowly raised a hand and tucked a rogue strand of hair behind her ear. Her heart picked up the pace what she saw in the mirror outshone even her own meticulous expectations! The makeup, the hair, the facial expression all so faithfully copied it was almost unnerving. Alice held her breath add her sisters favourite dress, and even their own mother might have failed to tell them apart.
The thought made her smirk, but a quick glance at the clock yanked her back to reality. The hands were inching ever closer to the appointed time in twenty minutes Simon would arrive. A ripple of nerves washed over her. Everything had to go perfectly not a single clumsy gesture, not a single misjudged tone! If Simon so much as suspected something was up, her elaborate plan would unravel in seconds. And that would mean her sister, yet again, had come out on top as she always did.
She took a slow, bolstering breath, trying to calm the slight tremor in her fingers, and crossed to the door. At the exact instant the bell rang, Alice was ready, the perfect actress poised at the doorstep. She pulled open the door and, spotting Simon, instantly transformed. Her face broke into a warm, nearly weightless smile, and her eyes sparkled with that same inviting mischief shed spent far too much time perfecting.
Hello, Simon! she cooed, her voice soft and just a touch husky, as if every word was delicately weighed in advance.
Before he could reply, she stood on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. It had to be neither more nor less than what shed seen nothing overacted, everything meticulous, choreographed to the last breath.
Come in! Would you like some coffee? she offered, stepping aside with just the right amount of caring casualness, as if this were an ordinary evening, not an expertly staged operation.
For a moment, Simon frowned, catching some hidden nuance in her words or manners. But in a second, a sly smile crept across his face hed sussed it. So, what was the sister of his fiancée playing at? Why the Oscar-worthy impression of Elizabeth? He decided to play along for now and nodded, following Alice inside.
Meanwhile, Alice darted about the kitchen, cheeks already aching from the unfamiliar, cherubic smile shed been wearing so long she feared it might be permanent. Her movements were a bit too brisk; she set out cups, saucers, and spoons, occasionally shooting a glance at the bottle of posh wine stashed discreetly on the shelf waiting for its grand moment, when she could suggest Simon unwind with a decent glass.
She knew her subject well: Simon didnt much care for drink alcohol and he werent the best of mates. At best, if among friends and in a good mood, hed just about agree to one glass. That was precisely the window Alice was counting on. She needed Simon to loosen up just enough, let his guard down then shed have a real shot at pulling off her grand design.
While she fussed with the coffee, Simon took a seat, arms crossed, watching her with a mix of curiosity and bemused suspicion. At last, he spoke up:
Alice, whats all this about? he asked, as if merely pondering the weather. And, where is Elizabeth? If this is some sort of prank, its not your finest moment.
Alice froze, weighing up her response. There was a flicker of confusion in her eyes, but she recovered with artificial brightness, voice feigning ease:
How did you guess, if you dont mind me asking? No, its not a joke. Its an experiment. Lizzie doesnt know a thing.
Simon arched an eyebrow, twiddling the coffee cup. He was curious what, exactly, Alice was plotting, but chose to keep his interest on a short leash let her do the explaining.
You two are really quite different, even as twins, he said with a thoughtful tilt of his head. How does anyone ever muddle you up?
Without waiting for an answer, he whipped out his phone and dashed off a quick message to his fiancée, checking her whereabouts. The glow of the screen briefly lit his face, and then vanished.
So, whats the point of this experiment? he pressed, sliding the phone away.
Alice shifted in her chair, gazing into her cup of tea. She took a small, fortifying sip, then launched into a speech with unexpected gusto:
You see, were always getting mistaken for each other. You say were different, but even Mum cant tell us apart if were dressed the same. Imagine identical outfits, matching hair, and boom: were like carbon copies.
She paused briefly, lost in recollections not all of them pleasant before continuing:
It gets awkward. Especially with people you care about. Weve run into trouble before, you know. Once, my boyfriend asked me out but ended up with Lizzie she just happened to be closer to the pub. Or the reverse: Lizzie wanted to chat with your mate, but he thought she was me and started sharing stuff she had no wish to hear.
Why not just I dont know change your hairstyle? Simon asked, head cocked. He remembered Elizabeth mentioning more than once that Alice was dead set against any changes to their appearance. Almost as if she enjoyed the confusion, and her sister just shrugged and went along with it.
Alices response was instant a cute wrinkle of her nose, as if shed just tasted a lemon.
Wheres the fun in that? she said, shaking her head. We promised each other no changes until we finished uni. Its a sort of unspoken rule. Besides she hesitated, then shot him a sly grin, sometimes its rather handy. Even the tutors cant tell us apart.
She chuckled, quick and bright, clearly pleased with their twin-powered loopholes.
Uh-huh, Simon drawled, summing her up with a thoughtful look. Just then, his phone pinged. He checked it, nodded to himself, and looked up. Elizabeth says shes waiting at our café. Doesnt sound like shes the least bit suspicious.
He gave Alice a look tinged with something like sympathy.
Dont worry, I wont mention your little experiment. I get that you care about your sister. Wouldnt want to be the cause of any rifts.
Alice visibly relaxed, a grateful smile emerging.
Thank you, Simon. Youre genuinely a good bloke.
Right, well, Id best run, he said, standing. Wouldnt do to keep Elizabeth waiting.
With a gentle click, the door shut behind him and Alice was left alone. The silence in the flat was suddenly vast, pressing in, leaving her stranded with a barking disappointment. She sank onto a chair, gripping the edge of the table to keep the tears at bay. Why hadnt it worked? Why hadnt he fallen for it? Why, after all her planning and effort, did her plan crumble like a dry biscuit?
Thoughts spun endlessly, returning to the first day Simon entered their lives. That first meeting his smile, his affable charm, the way he immediately seemed to fit had bowled her over. Every time hed been near, Alices chest would flutter, her palms sweating with nerves. She would rehearse conversations endlessly in her head, visualise them joking together, imagine a future But every time, something blocked her the fear of being rebuffed, her own uncertainty, the dread of tipping the delicate balance between her and her twin.
Elizabeth, on the other hand, had never been one to hesitate. She simply brought Simon home as if it were no more remarkable than picking up milk on the way. Meet Simon, she said, and their parents beamed, thrilled their daughters boyfriend was such a nice young man.
Alice could recall that evening in excruciating detail. Shed lingered in the lounge doorway, watching Simon click instantly with her family, laugh at Dads jokes, answer Mums questions with ease. Inside, she was a geyser ready to blow, but her face maintained a polite, frozen calm. How difficult how impossible it was to keep that mask in place when everything inside screamed otherwise!
He should have been hers! Hers! Shed noticed him first, shed been the one to start hoping, dreaming! Shed imagined every conversation, every walk, spun whole fairytales around the pair of them. And then Elizabeth swept in, snatched him up, giving not the slightest thought to her sisters feelings.
Alice inhaled deeply, fighting to steady trembling hands. She knew she couldnt allow these thoughts to overwhelm her. She had to pull herself together. But how, when the ache of loss stung so sharply?
Her sister always attracted men without effort. Elizabeth was like a sunbeam open, lively, with a laugh you couldnt help but join. The type who lit up parties, chatted endlessly, and still managed top grades at university as if by sheer accident.
Alice watched her and tasted bitterness. She herself was the opposite introverted, cautious, needing quiet to think. A relaxing evening meant a book and a cuppa, or a long, meaningful chat with a close friend. When Elizabeth invited her to a night out, Alice usually declined. Ive got no time for pointless escapades, shed mutter primly, convinced it was better to spend the evening revising or deep-diving into some academic tome.
Lately, though, she wondered had she been wrong? What if just once shed said yes, gone to that party, chatted to someone new and unguarded? Maybe then Simon would have noticed her the serious, dependable one who had a plan for everything. But instead he fell for Elizabeth impulsive, unpredictable, dazzling
In her heart, Alice knew it wasnt just about habits or lifestyle. Elizabeth had a way of drawing people in, utterly unforced. She didnt try to win anyone over she simply was. Meanwhile, Alice overthought everything, terrified of saying the wrong thing, anxious down to each syllable. So, she stayed invisible.
It gnawed at her. She told herself her path was the right one, and one day, her steadiness would be recognised. But on quiet evenings, when darkness pressed against the windows and the flat was silent, shed imagine how life might have turned out if shed tried just a little bit to be like her sister.
When Elizabeth, all glows and grins, announced their engagement over Sunday dinner, it was as if something inside Alice snapped in two. She smiled robotically, hugged her sister, played the dutiful daughter. Inside, she was numb.
In the days that followed, Alice barely slept, running hundreds of scenarios through her mind, desperate for some way out. Then, inspiration or something more poisonous struck.
“If Simon sees me instead of Elizabeth, if hes ensnared” she reasoned, “and then Elizabeth catches us itll be over. Shell never forgive that. If she cant have him, neither shall I. Thatd be fair.”
She plotted everything to the last detail. The wine just enough to loosen Simon up, but not so much that it looked suspicious. Practice lines, body language, even the angle of the light in the sitting room. Alice spent hours rehearsing before the mirror, mimicking every flirty flick of the hair, every coy smile.
The day arrived. Alice was so nervous her palms were damp, her mouth dry. But she was determined to see it through. Almost everything went to plan until Simon, the moment he crossed the threshold, saw straight through the charade.
Failure total and unambiguous. Instead of being charmed, Simon sniffed out her trick and politely, but unambiguously, went off to find his true fiancée.
Now Alice sat, staring blankly. The plan shed thought infallible had collapsed in mere moments. Time was ticking, the wedding neared, and shed yet to find a new path.
“I have to come up with something else fast,” she muttered, twisting the tablecloth in her fists. Thoughts darted and dived, none of them perfect. Next time, she knew, would demand something even more daring there might not be a third.
***
A few weeks later, Elizabeth, positively radiating happiness, gathered everyone around the table to announce she was expecting a baby. Her eyes shone, her whole being vibrated with excitement. Their parents were animated with glee, asking questions, congratulating, spinning happy dreams for the future.
Alice was silent, gripping her mug of tea gone cold. She wore a stretched smile, nodded along but inside every word, every happy gaze felt like a pinprick. She pictured the changes ahead family dinners with Simon now a permanent fixture, holidays where hed hold Elizabeths hand and beam at her growing belly. Alice couldnt bear the thought that it would never be her not ever.
Her mind skittered to dark corners, searching for a desperate solution. Something drastic, before things became irreversible. While everyone else was lost in joy, Alices own plan began to form. What could hurt a couple more than losing a much-wanted child? It was cruel, outrageous, but in her spiral it somehow seemed the only way.
She caught Elizabeths bright, trusting gaze, full of hopes for the baby. For a moment, Alices heart wavered, but she forced the thought down. There was a doctor she knew, one who, for the right sum in pounds, would provide the prescription she needed. Nothing illegal, just something to bring about the necessary “complications”
She chuckled a strange, hollow sound and Elizabeth, misinterpreting it, glowed even more, believing her sister shared her happiness.
“Your happiness wont last,” Alice told them silently, watching the beaming parents-to-be, her eyes hardening with resolve.
***
Want some juice? Alice asked her sister, voice resolutely light and breezy. She even smiled that easygoing, practised grin shed honed countless times.
Thanks so much, Elizabeth beamed, squeezing Alices hand, warmth shining in her eyes. Youre the best sister ever!
For a heartbeat, Alice hesitated, some small part of herself shivers. But she forced herself onwards.
Ill fetch it now, she replied, keeping her voice steady as she walked to the kitchen. She took the juice from the fridge and poured it carefully. Her fingers strayed reflexively to the tablet in her pocket. She gripped it, pausing.
What exactly was she doing? Alice stared at the glass, then down at the little pill in her hand. Flashes passed before her eyes Elizabeth laughing, talking about the baby; her parents delight; Simons gentle pride as he supported his wife
Was she truly capable of this? Of something unspeakable? Just picturing it sent a shudder through her. It wasnt just harsh it was wrong. It was monstrous.
No. She wasnt that person. Not really. This was some feverish madness, dredged from jealousy. She wasnt capable and she didnt want to be.
Her hand unclenched, and the pill landed on the counter with a tiny click. Alice exhaled shakily, praying her hands would stop trembling.
Alice? Are you alright? Elizabeths voice sounded right behind her, laced with real sisterly worry. Youre awfully pale! Should I ring the GP?
Alice looked up. In that moment, she saw what shed long tried to forget her sisters utter trust and love, her genuine joy that they could just share a drink and a laugh over nothing. It was so simple, so real and impossibly precious.
No, just a dizzy turn, Alice managed, forcing a bigger smile, steadying her voice. Alls fine. Ive got your juice here. Ill make a cuppa and you can fill me in on everything.
She turned, filled the kettle, hands still slightly unsteady. Every movement felt like wading through fog.
The war inside her was far from over. She replayed the close call with the pill in her mind. How near shed come to crossing a line she could never uncross! How easy it was for dark thoughts to spiral when youd been nurturing them for years, feeding the green-eyed monster of envy.
As she brewed her tea, the familiar aroma helped calm her. She glanced over at Elizabeth, contentedly sipping her juice, chattering about weekend plans, glowing with new life. And with that, Alice felt the weight of shame land heavily.
How could I? she thought, gripping her mug. Shes my sister. My closest friend.
She saw, suddenly and plainly, that what shed nearly done wasnt a single flash of madness. It was years of bottled-up resentment, envy, and hurt, coalescing until it almost spilled out as something unforgivable.
Alice inhaled deeply. She needed to admit she was lost. Needed help. Maybe maybe she needed to talk to someone, to truly sort out what was happening inside her.
What are you thinking about? asked Elizabeth, giving her a quizzical look.
Oh, just work piling up, Alice fibbed, waving it off. Could do with a bit of advice about getting everything in order.
Half true, really. Elizabeth seemed satisfied, going on about her own plans while Alice nodded along. But for the first time in ages, Alice felt something shift inside: not relief, but determination.
She simply wouldnt let these poisonous thoughts rule her life. Wouldnt let jealousy and old wounds dictate her next move. Because there was too much at stake her relationship with Elizabeth, her own sanity, her future.
And the first step was admitting it: I need help. No shame in that.
***
Elizabeth gave birth to a beautiful baby girl an instant darling of the entire family. The baby arrived quietly in the early hours of a June morning, and by noon the grandparents were grinning helplessly through the hospital nursery window. Tiny, rosy-cheeked, with dark little lashes, she slept wrapped in her blanket, and every visitors face softened in response.
Those first days at home were full of touching little moments. Elizabeth and Simon stumbled their way through midnight feeds and nappy changes. Their parents arrived armed with blankets and toys, Granny knitted miniature booties, and Grandpa could be found telling every neighbour about his granddaughter.
But it was Auntie Alice who doted especially tenderly on the new arrival. After the turning point in her heart, she found herself wanting to help daily holding the baby so her sister could nap, throwing together meals, dashing to the shops. Soon, she lingered longer: marvelling at the babys bean-sized fingers, how shed scowl when cross or break into a gummy smile at a familiar voice.
Alice quickly became proficient at lifting the baby, soothing her, singing softly improvised songs. She delighted in picking out sweet outfits pink rompers with embroidered daisies, powder blue sets with teddies and found bottomless joy in simply watching her niece become herself.
Over time, Alice became not just an aunt, but a companion. She organised imaginary tea parties, pointed out bright pictures, coaxed out first words. When the little girl learned to walk, Alice steadied her carefully, clapped for every wobbly step, celebrated the simplest victories.
Elizabeth noticed the bond with gratitude. One quiet evening, as Alice tidied toys after the baby was put to bed, Elizabeth approached quietly and said, Thank you. I can see how much you love her. It means the world to have an aunt like you.
Alice blushed and smiled, not quite meeting her gaze. She hadnt expected the joy she found caring for her niece. In these small everyday moments laughter, first words, tight hugs Alice discovered something she hadnt even realised she was missing: belonging, warmth, and unconditional love.
Looking at her smiling niece, Alice understood: sometimes lifes surprises are better than anything you could scheme or hope for. And sometimes, by giving yourself to others, you unexpectedly find peace and happiness for yourself.
