The Price of Pride
“Emily, could you lend me a couple of things?” Amy asked, her voice pleading as she stepped into her sister’s welcoming flat.
She couldn’t help but pause, taking in the spacious hallway with its designer furniture, the elegant mirrors in their ornate frames, and the immaculate pouffe by the door. It looked as if it had come straight out of a home decor magazine. A familiar, bitter pang of envy twisted in her chesther sister always had everything sorted.
Emily appeared at the living room doorway, sizing Amy up with a calm, observant gaze. Even in comfy loungewear, she radiated that effortless elegance Amy had tried, and failed, to mimic for years.
So, whats this big secret then? Emily said, leaning against the doorframe.
Amy instinctively straightened her coat sleeveit was hardly new anymore, though still fine. She tried not to focus on the huge painting across from her, or on the pristine orderliness and the scent of freshly brewed coffee that filled the flat.
Its nothing major she mumbled, gathering her thoughts.
Emily didnt look away, and Amy knew there was no sidestepping it this time. With a deep breath, she blurted out, Its the school reunion on Saturday. I have to be there! And I need to look perfect, you get it? I want everyone to think my life is well, like a dream.
Why, though? Emily turned away, speaking evenly. Whats the point of impressing people you barely talk to anymorewho live nowhere near you?
Amy nervously ran her hand through her hair. Oh, how she wished she had a kitchen like Emilysbreakfast bar, integrated appliances, and those stylish pendant lights. She craved slow mornings with coffee in a beautiful setting, instead of chaotic scrambles to get out the door.
You just dont understand! She snapped, more desperately than she meant to. It matters to me. I want them to see I made it. I want them to know my dreams came true, that I didnt that I didnt fail.
She realised she was staring at Emily, couldnt hide her envy. Emily either didnt notice, or refused to make a fuss about it.
You are seriously going to pretend to be someone else for a crowd of people you might never see again? Emily asked gently, sitting on a stool. Do you think anyone will actually care?
Thats not the point! Amy shook her head. I just I need them to think everythings perfect.
Alright. Emily sighed at last. Lets see what Ive got. But promise me, this is the last time you mislead people like this. Its not exactly decent.
You dont get it!
And Amy started to explain…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Back at school, Amy was the star. Everyone admitted it. She always had a stream of boys trailing after her, desperate for a word or a smile. Even the teachers softened at the sight of her thoughtful face and those slightly sad eyes that worked like a spell. Her parents never refused her anything; one raised eyebrow or a sigh and shed get what she wanted.
She grew up expecting everything to fall into her lap. If she fancied the latest trainers that had just come out, her mum would bring them home in a glossy box right away. If a cute new boy arrived in class, within a week, he would be walking her home. It became a gamehow far could she push, how many wishes could she get, how many lines could she cross?
Because I can, she would repeat to herself, as if it were a magic word. It was her mottoa handy excuse for anything. If a friend started seeing a boy Amy fancied, shed jump right in, and nearly always managed to turn his head. Not because she was in love, but just for the thrillcould she do it? The answer almost always: yes.
But old friends started drifting away. First one stopped inviting her out, then another found a new crowd. Amy didnt care muchthere were always new admirers, people desperate for her approval. She just took it for granted: if someone couldnt keep up with her games, they didnt deserve her anyway.
Prom night, she truly felt like a queen. The hall, with its streamers and balloons, felt like her kingdom. Her classmates fluttered around her, hanging on to every glance, every word. She was always centre stage.
Buzzing on all that attention and power, Amy got carried away. At one point, when everyone was reminiscing, she launched into a stream of cutting remarks about her classmatesdragging up old wounds, poking fun at insecurities, tossing in stinging comments about appearances. The words flowed, and her eyes sparkledshe just wanted to see how they would react, see if theyd fight back.
My life will be absolutely fabulous! Amy cried, head held high, scanning the room. Her voice rang out, loud and certain, as if the future she described was all but guaranteed.
She took a moment, enjoying the spotlight, then went on with even more swagger:
I can see it all: a rich husband, waiting on me hand and foot, a gorgeous mansion with a garden, maybe even my own business though honestly, Im not working a day in my life! Things will just fall into place for me, you seemoney, luxury, attention, all mine.
She let her imagination run wild: gleaming chandeliers, posh cars, glamorous nights out at exclusive restaurants.
And the rest of you? Well, your fates wont be nearly as bright! she said, turning to one of the quiet girlsalways top of the class but rarely in the spotlight.
The girl shrank under Amys cold gaze, but Amy pressed on:
Youll probably end up teaching in some rundown comprehensive. Or folding jumpers in a shop somewhere. Because youre a mouse, who doesnt know how to look after herself! she sneered. And your husband will be some bloke off the factory floor, coming home late and taking it out on you.
Her voice was triumphant, not just mockingshe was truly relishing her sense of superiority.
She flicked her attention to another girl:
And you? Youll be stuck in some drab office, counting pennies and wishing you could buy a new dress. Youll never have what I have!
She went on, dishing out doomsday predictions left, right, and centre. Communal flats, endless childcare with no hope of a careereach jab came with a dig at looks, manners, abilities.
Some girls looked away, nervously glancing at each other; a few tried to smile it off, as if it were just a joke. But the tension in the air was obviousAmys words stung, whatever her pretence of playfulness.
She laughed at their downcast faces, drinking in their discomfort. Her laughter filled the halllads waiting for her by the door joined in, some out of nervous loyalty, some just not wanting to be left out.
Amy took those laughs as proof she was rightfor that moment, she really believed she could decide everyones fate.
For uni, Amy picked one in the next county overnot because she cared much about the course, but because it seemed the thing to do. More prestige, more opportunities. She reasoned a big city was the place to meet ambitious menblokes from wealthy families, young career types, future bosses, all swirling around in the same social scene. Plus, she had her grans old flat to herself, so didnt need to rent or live in hallsa real advantage over other girls.
At first, it was just as she pictured. She fitted out the flat to her taste, made friends, hit loads of parties. She still got plenty of attentionher looks, her charm, the way she held herselfit all did the job. She collected admiring glances and compliments, certain someone would soon see her true worth.
But once lectures started, reality hit hard. The course was harder than she expected. There was actual worklectures, seminars, exams that needed more than just a winning smile and a bit of revision. She fell behind, skipping classes, convinced shed scrape through on confidence and charm.
But after the very first round of exams, it all unravelled. She had nearly failed everything. The lecturers shed charmed early on were suddenly firm: Either you buckle down or youre out. For the first time, Amy realised her trademark confidence was slipping away.
Then it dawned on herchildhood was over. In the real world, everyone was impressivesmart, pretty, driven. Next to other girls, she just didnt shine the way she thought she would. Plenty balanced work, studies, and still made plans for the future. She was still living off her old ideas about herself.
This snapped her out of it, but not in the usual way. Instead of focusing on uni, she doubled down on the husband hunt. Before the looks fade, she thought, calculating how long until she was no longer the Amy everyone wanted.
Dates ramped up. Shed agree to meet older blokes, dress as well as possible, drop hints about wanting family life, a good man. The more desperate she felt, the more it showedand it put off anyone with serious intentions.
One chap seemed promisingmaybe even a real prospect.
But fate had one more twist in store.
The guylets call him Jamescame from a loaded family. His folks ran a chain of private hospitals, lived in one of those leafy suburbs, moved in the right circles. He was their only child, educated abroad, now working for the family businessapparently set for life.
James wasnt exactly a film star: average height, a bit round-faced, and a slight stoop. But Amy waved that off easily: Who needs a pretty boy? With a husband like him, Ill have it all: house, status, money, freedom. She could already see herself swanning around a grand house, hosting parties, flying off for summer holidays.
Amy designed her approach. Firstget noticed. She found out where he went after work and started bumping into him at his favourite cafes and the gym. Latershow off charm and wit, always keeping her look on point. She made sure every interaction was effortless but flawless.
Gradually, they got to know each other. Dates at nice spots, long walks, the works. Amy was sure he was hooked. She dropped subtle hints about settling down, finding the right person.
But shed forgotten about one thingJamess parents cared a great deal about pedigree. The family dinner table chat was full of plans for his future; they expected a certain type of daughter-in-lawa girl from their world, who would fit the bill in terms of background and connections.
When James first mentioned Amy to his mum, she simply raised an eyebrow.
So, who is this girl then? What do her family do?
James shrugged. Shes at uni. Her parents are just regular people, from a town nearby.
Regular? Mum wrinkled her nose. You do realise, our familywell, we have reputation, standing, tradition. People will talk. Theyll say, The hospital owners son married some girl with no background at all!
James tried to push back. But shes interesting, funny
There are plenty of interesting girls. We need someone who fits our status. Dont make life difficult for yourself.
Meanwhile, Amy was already planning how to introduce James to her parents, how theyd pick out a flat together. But then came The Talk.
He called out of the blue, said he wanted to meet up for an important chat. At the café, he was tense. He hesitated, then finally said, My parents they dont approve. They think were from different worlds.
Amy felt her insides twist, but forced a smile. Does it really matter? Were adults; we can make our own choices.
It does to them, James sighed. Theyve already picked out someone they think is suitable. I tried to argue, but Im not ready to fight my family over this. Im sorry.
Amy sat there for ages after he left, staring into her empty teacup. No tears, just a dull sense of frustration.
Why? she thought. I did everything right! Why is he so obsessed with his parents opinion? Shame baby-trap didnt workhed never have left then!
But worse was to come. Within weeks, Amy started hearing rumours. People said shed been eyeing up wealthy men, that she only used James for his cash. News travelled fast in their circlesshe couldnt turn up at a party or favourite café without getting side-eye and fake, sugary smiles. Now, the men whod once flirted with her kept their distance; one even left a restaurant early just to avoid her.
She tried to act unfazed, but inside she could feel her reputation crumbling. The idea of a high-flying marriage was overat least in this crowd.
Going home wasnt an option. Thatd be admitting defeat, and over the years, shed told her parents so many little fibs she had no clue how shed come clean. Whenever she called home, she kept the fantasy goingshe described how brilliant uni was, how she was trusted with big projects at her job, and how her boyfriend was a real catch from a good family.
Her parents beamed with pride, retelling her successes to friends. Amy pictured their faces glowing, and it made her stick at it. She couldnt bear to see disappointment or hear awkward questions.
Only Emily knew the truth. Shed twigged after one of her surprise visits.
Come home, theres nothing for you here, Emily said gently. Just tell Mum and Dad the truth.
Amy straightened up, wiped her eyes, and announced, Admit I lied? Never! Ill fight till the endIll sort my life out, youll see.
At the time, she really believed it. If she just tried hard enough, things would work out. She kept dating, networking, plotting to join the right crowd. But time passed, and no rich husband appeared. Men who once seemed interested quickly cooled when faced with her massive expectations and stubbornness.
Meanwhile, her grans savingsleft alongside the flatwere vanishing fast. At first, Amy tried to save. Then she started cutting corners: no more brunches, hardly any shopping, gym membershipgone. But bills and expenses piled up.
One morning, counting the last of her cash, Amy realised shed no choice but to find work. She held out for something fitting, but without a degree or decent experience, employers politely shut the door.
And so, the former queen bee of the playground found herself behind a supermarket till. Those first shifts were rough. Shed catch people glancing at her, whispering that she looked too posh for the job. She forced a smile, rung through groceries, said polite farewellsreminding herself it was just for now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yesterday, I got the invite to the school reunion! Amy finished, glumly sipping her tea. I cant not show up, you see! Otherwise theyll just think Im ashamed, that things didnt work out for me. I need to prove them wrong!
Emily put down her spoon and looked carefully at her sister. She seemed to be weighing her words.
Dont you reckon they already know the truth and want to see you so they can have a laugh? she said gently. To get back at you for what happened back then? Remember your speech at promnot everyones forgotten.
Amys cheeks reddened. Her head jerked up.
Nonsense! she huffed, flicking her hand as though waving off a wasp. I know how to lay low. No one knows for sure. I just need to turn up and show them Im still on top!
Emily leant back, drumming her fingers. The whole situation just seemed offwhy ask someone back if shed spent school years making everyone miserable? Did anyone really want to catch up with the old prophesies queen who once looked down her nose at everyone else?
But she didnt say it. Emily had long ago stopped telling her sister what to doAmy always made her own mistakes.
Alright, she nodded. If youre going, youre going. Just prepare yourself. Anything could happen.
What could possibly happen? Amy frowned. Itll be fine. Ill get dolled up, new hair, best dress No one will suspect a thing.
Fine. If you need help with your outfit or hair, let me know. Ill help.
Amy relaxed at once, as if shed been waiting for just that.
Thanks, she breathed. I do want your opinion. I have to look perfectno one must know Im not living the dream.
**********************
Amy dashed out of the restaurant, tears streaking her cheeks. The chilly evening air stung her flushed face, but she barely noticed. All she wanted was outthat building, where half an hour before shed tried so hard to be someone else. “Emily was so right,” she kept thinking, “I shouldve stayed away!”
Yet at first, it was going fine. When she walked into the hall, heads turned. She had everything planned: an unhurried stride, a light smile, a casual glance at her watcha woman so busy, but shed made time for her old mates.
She picked a group who hadnt known her well at school and launched in. Businessman husband, off in Europe on business; huge house with a blooming rose garden year-round; holidays abroad at least four times a year. She got so swept up in her own story she missed the glances between her classmates, the hands covering mouths, the sly smiles of those who knew better.
She was floating, centre of everythingtill someone piped up:
I saw Amy recently, you know, an old classmate announced. And real life looked a bit different to what shes saying.
The room went quiet. Everyone turned. Amy tried to smile, but her lips wobbled.
Yeah, and Ive got photos to prove it! another chimed in, quickly flipping through her phone.
What happened next was a real-life nightmare. On the big screen, as someone plugged in their mobile, a slideshow flickered up.
There was Amy at the supermarket tillstiff little smile, standard uniform, ID badge. There she was, bent over the discount section, weighing up what she could afford. Then, getting on the bus, clutching shopping bags. And worst of alllugging shopping up to the tired old council block where she lived.
Laughter startedquiet at first, building until it filled the hall. So much for the mansion! someone called. And the businessman husband works at Tesco, does he?
Amy just stood there, rooted, cheeks burning, knees trembling. It wasnt as if her life was unusualloads of people lived like this. But shed spent half an hour bigging herself up, painting a fantasy even shed started to believe. Now, the hard proof was up for all to see.
She didnt wait for more questionsshe turned and fled. She missed whatever was shouted after her, missed it when someone half-heartedly tried to stop her. All she knew was cold air, and her own tears, as she scrambled for the nearest bench to try and breathe, to figure out what on earth to do now.
She barely registered the man she collided with, shoulder to shoulder. Nearly fell over.
Are you alright? a concerned voice asked. He seemed genuinely kindthe sort of voice that made her stop for a second.
She looked up and saw a manregular bloke, casual jacket, grocery bag in hand. Something about his concern made her resolve crumble.
No, she admitted, her voice barely there, eyes filling again. My fiancé just dumped me right before the wedding.
Some people never learn.
