The Fairy
When I grow up, I shall be a fairy!
Evie, why a fairy?
Because I want to be, thats why!
Evie slipped off her mother’s lap, where she had just received warm congratulations for her fifth birthday, and smoothed out her frilly skirt with a flourish.
Mum, fairies are all beautiful and clever! And they can do anything! So Ill be able to do anything too!
Of course you will, darling! Charlotte reached for her daughter, but Evie giggled and stepped aside.
What about the cake?
It will be ready soon, love. Go and play with your friends for now. Ill come fetch you.
Alright!
Watching the golden curls shed painstakingly set that morning bounce as her daughter skipped off, Charlotte smiled to herself.
Shes so determined! And bright as a button! Who can put their wishes so clearly at her age? Ill be able to do anything!
The main thing is not to dampen that spirit, said Emily, Charlottes best friend, nodding. Too often, adults tell them to be more realistic, to temper their dreams and think of the long road ahead. But sometimes its enough to just believe in your childand theyll manage anything in the end. I know. When my little Grace started at art class
Yes, yes, your Grace is quite remarkable! Charlotte laughed. Girls, will you help me? Its time for the cake. She spun in her heels and made for the kitchen.
The large, airy house rang with childrens laughter. The floor was a mosaic of colourful confetti and popped balloon scraps. A crumpled bouquet of tulips lay abandoned in a corner, and Charlotte frowned as she passed. Her own mother, Mary, had ordered those flowers to celebrate her granddaughter. Mary lived with them now, but before, she rarely visited, preferring Evie to spend time at her own little flat.
I always feel out of place here, Charlotte. I might break something, or put a foot wrong. Everythings just so luxurious for me.
Mum! Dont be so old-fashioned. Luxurious! Its only as much as we can afford. Jack works tirelessly, and I do my bit as well. We have every right not to deny ourselves.
I just feel calmer at my place.
Alright, if you say so. My only concern is that Evie is happy and cared for.
Mary had looked after her granddaughter ever since she was born.
Im pressed for time, Mum, Charlotte muttered, hastily applying makeup in the morning before leaving for work. If I stop now, Ill lose all the ground I gained in the last five years. Everythings a race. And its not just my own livingIm responsible for the people who rely on me. But most of all, I have to think of Evies future.
But isnt it more important for her that youre with her now, while shes still little?
Mum, dont start! I know what Im doing! Who else but me would take care of my child? Who else would provide for her?
What about Jack?
Mum, are you joking? Of course he will, as her father. But hes a man. And men well, today hes here, tomorrow hes gone to another. What then?
Why do you think like that, love? Mary sighed. Has he someone else?
How would I know? Have I had a minute to dwell on that? Maybe, maybe not. I practically dropped out of life during pregnancy and after. I have to catch up, Mum. And youll help, wont you?
Of course I will, Mary replied, peering into the cot at her granddaughter. So tiny You were chubbier.
Whats wrong with that? Shell grow.
Evie was a frail and often poorly child. Colds followed one after another, but Mary no longer panicked as she once did, simply dialling her trusted GP. Busy Charlotte just didnt have the time.
Oh, Mum, shes not burning up! Just look after her, please. Im in a meeting.
Evie, clinging warmly to her grandmothers neck, would nuzzle her face in Marys shoulder and softly whimper.
There, there, my darling. Ill make you some squash, then a napoff youll go, all better soon. Want a story?
A fairy one?
Well, yes, if you like.
Yes!
A picture book with dazzling illustrations had come from her father on a business trip to London.
But Jack, its all in English! Mary flipped through the vivid pages.
And whats the problem? Let her get used to a second language. You taught at the university for years! Surely a childs book is nothing.
Yes, yes, I can manage. I suppose Ill have to start lessons sooner than I thought.
Little lessons with her granddaughter, her joys and little sorrows, soon filled Marys whole life. And she was content. Finally, life had meaning again, something to give her a reason to get up each morning.
The past ten years, ever since Charlotte finished university and married, had passed for Mary in a kind of haze. Her daughter was always too busy for visits, and with Charlotte bristling at any hint to meet, Mary soon gave up asking altogether. She missed those days when Charlotte would come from school or uni, plop onto the kitchen sofa with legs tucked under her, sipping Marys special mint tea, chattering about her day. Charlotte had always been for Mary the centre of her existence.
Shed had her girl very young, barely nineteen, after a rushed wedding that brought no happiness. She and her husband parted within the year, leaving little Charlotte as the only memento of that whirlwind of feeling Mary never relived. Just as Charlotte turned two, Marys own mother fell ill, and the next twelve years became a drawn-out nightmarean ailing, bedridden mother slipping away mentally and a small child demanding attention. Mary would look in the mirror and turn away. Shed never been pretty, not even sweet-faced. But there was something distinct in her features that could not be forgotten.
What was just a hint in her, bloomed as beauty in Charlotte. Mary pursed her lips to stifle her smile when she watched her daughter. She had done well, indeed! It was only left to make sure such beauty didnt fade away unnoticed. She did everythingballroom dancing, music lessons, English, French. By the time Charlotte left school, Mary could proudly say shed raised her daughter the best she could. Only one thing niggled. Charlotte was relentless about her own interests, never letting anyone insult or wrong her, always putting herself first, even when that meant the rest of the family had to tighten their belts for a time.
Mum, I need these shoes. Honestly, I cant show up to my first interview in the ones I have. I need to look the part. Its important!
Mary would produce her holiday money and hand it over. Who cared for the seaside, so long as Charlotte succeeded?
Charlottes marriage to Jack was the pinnacle of all Marys efforts. Dabbing at sweet, unexpected tears, Mary watched her beautiful daughter walk arm-in-arm with her groom through the grandest hall in their town. If Mary was honest, Jack had never quite sat right with her, but she put it down to unfamiliarity with business types. She tried not to worry, remembering what Charlotte said before the wedding.
Mum, this isnt just about feelings. Theres an understanding. It matters. Practical marriages last longer than all that sighing and moonlight.
Do you really think so, dear?
Yes!
Whats this understanding, then?
Were equal partners, as of the wedding. I make no claim on what he had before. All I need to do is she smiled, give him a son. Then the terms will tip in my favour.
Thats awfully strange
Its practical and modern, Mum. Lifes changed. So have relationships.
I just want you to be happy, whatever the world says.
I will.
No more was said on the subject. Charlotte soon grew distant, caught up in the business Jack had arranged for her and in dealing with personal health issues that made fulfilling that contract difficult.
Evies birth took Charlotte by surprise.
I dont believe these new-fangled scans! she moaned, folding a blue blanket shed bought certain she was having a boy. Three times! Three times they told meboy! And? Where is he? Does she look like a boy?
But darling, arent girls just as wonderful?
Oh, of course, Mum! Its just It wasnt what I expected. Its the timing as well
Therell be a son in time, Charlotte. Just give it a little longer.
Perhaps
But nothing changed. Charlotte dashed from doctor to doctor in hectic gaps between meetings, still chasing after something. No result. After yet more clinics opened and closed with the seasons, she shrugged.
I dont know what else I can do, Mum. Ive tried everything.
Why not focus on the beautiful child you already have?
Mum!
What did I say? Evies nearly five. Shes a darling. And who says only sons matter to fathers? Rethink your agreement.
Charlotte paused. Her mothers words did have a point.
Perhaps Evie should live here, then.
Charlotte
Mum, please, theres no argument. Shes spent too much time at yours.
But shes used to me!
No ones saying she wont see you, Charlotte retorted, flicking through Evies artwork. She draws rather well. We should get her into art school.
Shes had lessons with her tutor for a year now Mary nearly wept.
Mum, dont make a scene. Youll still see her. Id much rather you than any stranger. Ill arrange a driver and everything. Perhaps youll come move in? Theres space here.
No. Mary shook her head. Thats not best. But I do want as much time with Evie as before.
Life, however, made its own adjustments. Evies first high fever after she began living solely in Charlotte’s house forced Mary to pack her bags and stay.
Mum, theres every comfort here. Theres room. Most important, Evies next dooryou neednt worry any longer!
Mary inspected her sunny new room and nodded grudgingly.
Yes Evie is near
She focused all her energy on her granddaughter, purposely ignoring the tension brewing between Charlotte and Jack, who were increasingly inattentive towards little, frequently disheveled Evie, who now flew through the large house.
Grandma, theres more room here than at yours! Can I have a dog now?
I dont know, sweetheart. That’s not my decision.
Why not? Evie looked at her attentively. Isnt this your house too?
No, darling. This is your mum and dads house. I just have a little place of my own where I make the rules. Here, no.
You mean you cant even say no?
It depends. Pouring your milk over the breakfast table, I can say no to that! But a dogthats for your parents.
I see!
Evie sat thoughtfully on the floor. Mary tensedCharlotte often got that same look when she worked out especially tricky situations, and usually got her way in the end.
Ill ask Dad! Evie determined, getting up.
She approached Jacks study that evening. He looked up, surprised. Interaction with his daughter was mostly limited to a quick Hello, kiddo! To Marys requests that he spend more time with Evie, hed always vaguely agree and promptly forget. Her question caught him completely off guard.
Do you love me?
Jack floundered. The little girl standing in the study was an unfamiliar sight.
Of course. All parents love their children.
I dont mind about all parents. I want to know about you.
What do you want? A new toy?
No! Evie frowned. I want a dog!
A robot dog?
Her eyebrows shot up, hair fluffing above her fringe.
Why a robot? A real dog!
Jack closed his eyes, removed his glasses, and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
A big one?
Doesnt have to be. Just a nice one.
You choosejust tell me. A dog it is.
Charlotte was not at all pleased. That evening, doors firmly closed, they argued, not knowing Evie sat curled in the hallway, ear pressed against the wood. Marys blood pressure rose; after tucking Evie in early, she slipped off to her own room, unaware her granddaughter had no intention of sleeping.
Its not a toy! A dogs a living creaturesomeone must look after it.
Theres your mother. Theres the housekeeper. Pay extra. Kids and dogs work together; its all good for them.
The vet? The shows? Everything else?
Plenty of vets in London. Open your own! As for showsjust get a mutt, problem solved. Charlotte, what do you want from me? I hardly ever see my daughter because I work all hours. But this little wish, why not grant it?
Because its not little. Its about getting everything at a whim.
And so what? Why cant my child have what she wants when she wants it?
Charlotte fell silent. Evie quietly rose from the doorshe would have her dog, that was certain. Nothing else the adults discussed now mattered.
A little Pomeranian arrived for Evie a couple of days later. Two months on, a week after her birthday, Evie and Mary moved back to Marys flat. Charlotte, withdrawn and mute, drank her strong coffee each morning and vanished for the day.
Gran, whats wrong with Mum?
Its not for me to say, darling. Mummy will explain in time,” Mary murmured, stroking either her granddaughter or the puppy.
So why are we living with you again? Is it just for the weekend?
No, Evie, not just for the weekend. I think this is for the long-term now
Mary herself didnt understand entirely. When Charlotte appeared just days after the elaborate birthday do, Marys heart clenched.
Pack up, Mum. Were leaving. Get Evies things too, will you?
Mary started towards a question, but stopped at the look in Charlottes eyes.
Ill take care of it, dear Just give me half an hour.
That evening, as she set down a cup of Charlotte’s favourite tea and tried to meet her daughters eyelegs tucked on the sofa as alwaysCharlottes words were cold.
Dont ask, Mum. Were getting divorced.
Mary gasped and glanced at the door. Evie, thank goodness, was busy with a cartoon.
Hes got someone else. A son.
Charlotte buried her face in her knees and Mary stepped closer to offer comfort, but then stoppedher daughter was laughing.
I thought you were crying
Not a chance! Thats it, Mum. It just didn’t work out for me…”
Mary never quite understood how or why Jack traded one family for another, but his decency ensured the divorce was swift and civilised. Six months later, Charlotte bought a spacious, newly renovated flat next door to Mary, and life rolled on againnot as straight-lined and easy as before, but predictable.
Evie grew, clever and stubborn in equal measure. Her wants always took centre stage, and Charlotte, resigned, gave in to almost all whims, not much inclined to rein in her daughter.
Charlotte, this isnt right.
Mum, what do you want? Shes bright, quick, never lets whats hers slip out of her graspjust whats needed in todays world. Youve got to look out for yourself these days.
I disagree. I worry for her.
I dont. Why shouldnt she get what she wants? If Id thought more of myself, I might still be with Jack. But noI thought too much of him. Silly
Its silly to forget your child needs her mum! Mary would burst out. She needs more than indulgence. She needs you.
Shes got you.
Thank goodness. But, stillit would be better if she had you as well!
What for? She listens to you, not me.
Thats because I can say no. You dont see it as your part.
I want her to know that if she wants something, she can have it. Id rather be her friend than a Cerberus.
Mary would drop her arms, sighing.
And what happens if she cant have her way? If she cant get what she wanted?
That wont happen. Not with her wit. Mum, you see it yourself!
I see… And I know in this life, our wishes arent always enough. Other things come into play… You of all people should know.
Thanks, Mum. Charlottes voice chilled, and Mary fell silent. I know very well. But I dont want her to find it out.
What was the point in arguing? Charlotte never changed her mind. Evie, too, would have her wayher mother always in her corner, with her grandmothers love as a steady backstop.
Charlotte barely seemed to notice her daughter anymore, deep in work. Sometimes shed take Evie out shopping.
You must look the part. Nature didnt give you striking looks, but that can be fixedright clothes, good makeup. Learn it. It matters.
Here, at least, Evie listened. Charlottes taste was faultless. And though Evies features werent her mothers, her figure wasand so Charlottes wardrobe became Evies hunting ground.
This, this, and maybe this. The rest you dont needtheyre too grown-up. Charlotte would rifle through, marking out the choices. Everything in moderation.
At school, other girls envied the contents of Evie’s makeup baghow did her mum afford such expensive sets?
Your skin is important. Dont punish it with rubbish. It wont thank you. If you use makeup, use it right, Charlotte would say, tossing any cheap mascara Evies friends gave her. Whats this?
A present.
Not all presents are worth keeping. Say thank you and throw it away. Value yourself, Evie.
Mary watched but no longer tried to intervene. It was pointless now. She only tried to soften Evies edges, with limited success. Her granddaughter finished school, went to universitythe same course as Charlotte and once, Mary herself. Once Evie started, she was hardly home, swept off into the breezy whirl of student life. Mary barely saw either of them anymore and so learned of changes in Evies life last of all.
Youre getting married? To whom? Her hands shook, her favourite mug slipped, smashing across the kitchen tiles.
William Porter Evie sang, perching on the sofa, watching her grandmother clear the shards. Well, just Will! My Will!
Who is he, love?
Oh, just a lecturer. Not mine, before you jump to conclusions! He just works at the uni, thats all.
He?
No, Grandma, not old. Still young, quite posh actually.
Mary learned, through Charlotte, that William was married.
But hes got a family, Evie, Mary moaned.
Why should I care about his wife or child? I care about Will. And Evie wants him.
Oh, where did I go wrong? Mary leaned on the table, trying to steady herself. Its not right…
Whats not right?
Taking a father from his child and a husband from his wife!
Hes not property to be taken! Dont be daft, Mum! Charlotte slipped Mary a glass of water. Think about your granddaughters happiness, not someone else’s.
But will that happiness last? Mary drank her water and flung the glass at the wall.
The wedding was subdued. Williams parents refused even to meet their new relatives. Jack, long since moved to another city, sent a flat instead of himself. Charlotte furnished it for Evie without asking if it was wanted. But Evie hardly noticed.
Mum, look! The dress is a dream! I must have it! Evie twirled before the mirror.
Its called Fairy, said the bridal shop assistant, pulling a veil from its box for Charlotte to inspect, already sure who would make the choices.
A sign, Evie! Remember you dreamed of being a fairy as a child?
I do! And I will be! My life will be a fairy tale! Everything will be alright!
All will be well echoed Charlotte, fingers twisting the lace of the veil.
Mary, barely able to stand through the registry office, called a cab home.
I feel unwell. I dont want to spoil your celebration.
She kissed her granddaughter and left. Sitting in the car, Mary turned backEvie danced next to her husband, waiting for the photographers signal to release the dove she held. Suddenly Mary shivered. Her granddaughter looked so much like that frightened white bird clutched tight, dreaming only of freedom.
Oh, what can I do, Lord What now? Mary sobbed softly but quickly composed herself. Give me strength. Ill need it yet
Evie’s marriage lasted less than a year, ending soon after her daughter was born. Williams new love was a classmate of Evies. Heavily pregnant, Evie had called at the university for papers, only to find William and his flame together in an empty classroom. She backed out, quietly shut the door, but then slammed it so hard the windows rattled and other doors banged open.
Whats happening? What on earth?
Time for pest control, Evie waved towards the classroom. Theres a cockroach in there
Collecting her papers, Evie phoned her father for help.
Running back home? Charlotte eyed her, reproachful. Didnt you try setting him straight?
Whats the point, Mum? Evie calmly sorted her daughters things.
Because you have to fight for your own! Thats the proper thing!
Proper? What does that even mean, Mum? Perhaps proper is getting a taste of your own medicine. All my life, I thought I could bend things to my wishes. Never once did I wonder about the wishes of the woman before me… Maybe she wanted a father for her child, a bit of love. And then I swept in, all fairy magic, and decided she didnt need it. And now someone else thinks the same about me Thats your proper, Mum
Nonsense! I never imagined youd act like this in a tough moment.
No, Mum, you dont get it. Ive stopped being a child. Thats the sadness. The little fairy has grown up cant fly anymore.
Charlotte went on, but Evie had tuned her out. She needed to figure out what to do next.
Mary packed, drying her eyes between folding clothes and watching her great-granddaughter.
Its alright, sunshine. Your mums strong. Well manage…
Charlotte stayed behind. Mary, handing her keys over, reminded her to water the flowers, then gave a little wave.
Never mind. Look after yourself.
Years passed. In the old park, a young woman strolled. The little girl who ran ahead then came back to grab her hand and chatter was so like her, there was no mistaking whose daughter she was.
Look what we made at nursery! the child rooted in her backpack, handed to her mother, and pulled out a stick tipped with a squashed foil star. Oh! Its all squished…
Whats that, Rosie?
A magic wand! Like the fairys in the story. Onlysquished.
So what? Who cares? Evie straightened the star, waved the wand. See? It works!
How do you know? What did you wish for?
For everything to be alright! And for everyone to be well!
Its not working Rosies head drooped. Grans still in hospital.
Thats where youre wrong. Shes already home.
Really? Rosie skipped in excitement.
Really. Well see her soon.
Let me! Let me have it! I want another go! She grabbed the wand and whispered a spell.
What did you wish for?
Not telling!
Thats not fair! Evie laughed, neatening her daughters curls.
Alright, just one. I wished wed always be together Rosie almost whispered, so Evie knelt beside her.
Rosie You mean Gran?
The girl nodded.
I cant promise that, darling. Im not much of a fairy. Only a little bit. Not everything depends on us in life. But we can be together as much as we can, and love each other even when were not in the same room. When youre at nursery and Im at work, dont we still think of each other? And love each other, all the same?
Rosie nodded and clutched her wand.
Then Ill make a new wish, shall I?
Anything you want!
I wish Gran would get truly well, and we could all be together for ever so long. Is that alright, Mum?
Evie got up, brushed off her skirt, and nodded seriously.
Thats the best wish of all! Now lets go and show Gran your magic wand. I bet shes got a wish too. Shes the real fairy, isnt she?
Really?
Of course! The very best fairy in the world!Rosie raced ahead, waving the wonky wand, as Evie hurried to keep up, laughing at her daughters determination. They reached the building, hearts fluttering, and found Mary sitting by the window, sunlight tracing silver through her hair, eyes growing brighter at the sight before her.
Gran! Rosie burst in, flinging herself into Marys arms. Its my magic wand. It really works! Are you better now?
Mary caught Evies gaze over Rosies head and squeezed the little girl tighter. Of course, darling. You brought the best medicine of all.
Evie set a bag down and sat on the edge of the bed, took her mothers hand, and for a long moment, the three of them stayed therethree generations, tangled together by love, longing, and all the wishes ever whispered into darkness.
Outside, clouds scattered, letting in a shaft of golden light. Rosie climbed onto the bedspread and gently tapped Grans hand with her star, eyes scrunched in concentration. All better forever, she pronounced.
Mary laughed, for the first time in weeks. What did I do to deserve such wonderful fairies?
Fairies make their own luck, Evie replied, smiling softly. You taught us that.
For the first time, Evie no longer longed for other lives, other stories, or unhappy endings rewritten. Here, there was love, battered but bright. A fairys magic, after all, was never in her wand, but in believingagainst all evidencethat her wishes could come true.
And as dusk fell and laughter spilled from that window, a small white dog dozed at their feet, and somewhere in the thick of summer flowers, the world felt quietly enchantedjust for a little while.
