Measure with your heart, check with your mind
Oh girls, my mother-in-laws finally lost the plot! Yesterday she turned up with a pot of stew! How about that? Apparently my stew just isnt up to scratch. Her darling boys used to hers! Honestly, where do these women come from? Are we all doomed to turn into them? If yes, then send me off into the woods and lose the map!
Chill out, Sonia, Lisa soothed, squeezing her hand reassuringly. Shes probably just bored stiff. Only son, nothing to do now but foist good deeds on him. Consider the stew a win! Thank her and ask for seconds. Less cooking for youlet her crack on.
Oh, brilliant! Before I know it, shell be moving in. As if I didnt have enough with her antics already. Do you remember the set I bought for Christmas?
The gift?
Yeah. She threw it out.
What? Lisa nearly poured the tea onto Olgas lap rather than in her cup. The tablecloth took the brunt, now sunshiny yellow.
Said it was unhealthy! The knickers were wrong. I couldnt even tell her the price. Shed have eaten me alive.
Nothing pleases you! She cares about your health but you have the hump anyway. Lisa erupted into laughter before turning serious. Whys she rummaging in your underwear anyway?
Ask her! Sonia flung a serviette on the table and started dabbing the puddle. For heavens sake, look what Im doing! Thatll never wash out.
Come on, calm yourself! Olga, whod been hovering quietly, snatched the serviette and pushed Sonias coffee her way. Youre all frayed nerves lately. Its not good.
Youd be frayed too! Life was bliss when we were renting. She never visited. I could potter about thinking over work stuff, and no one interfered. You just cant explain that working from home is still working. She doesnt seem to grasp that Im now earning almost as much as her precious son. But ever since we bought the flat, I feel like an amoeba under a microscope. She comes when she pleases, does whatever odd thing occurs to her, all under the guise of having helped with the deposit. Now I belong to her, or so it seems. Sonia sniffled.
Change the locks.
No point. My husband would hand her the key anyway. Shes his mum! Then Id get the guilt trip. Might as well just get divorced!
Thats a bit drastic, love! Pull yourself together. I dont recognise youwheres the battleaxe I knew at school? What happened to her?
Now sat on the pyre of crushed dreams. Sonia took a big gulp of wine and sighed. Alright, enough whinging. I need a plan or Ill lose the plot completely. My own childs started to ask why Im so grumpy. What can I sayYour grannys driven me round the twist? Youre right, girls, that wont do
Exactly! Lisa waved at the waiter. Lets have some dessert. Nerves need feeding.
Why not. Sonia dabbed her eyes with a corner of a napkin and managed a smile. Ooh, want to see the cake I made for my last wedding client? Even Im impressed with myself.
The friends peered eagerly at Sonias phone.
Blimey!
Sonia, what is that? Hows it hanging like that? Its gorgeous!
Trade secret! My son gave me the idea, fiddling with his Lego. As for delivery, Id rather not recall, but Ive now got six orders for the next two months. No idea how Ill manage.
Have your mother-in-law look after the little one! Give her a proper job.
Oh, Lisa, youre hilarious! Sonia giggled. She wouldnt be interested. Shed claim to be ill the minute he ramped things up.
What if you send her and your husband to his mums? Let them visit.
Sonia hovered mid-sip, frozen.
Olga, you genius! They can visit and be out from under my feet, eating her stew, on her turf, off properly washed crockery. Ill chuck a few sweets to the small one so Grandmas got plenty to entertain her.
The girls all laughed, knowing Sonias son went utterly wild after a sugar rushthe reason she policed party sweet tables with military vigilance.
Ollie, how are things with your in-laws? Lisa glanced over. Youve been so quiet! Is yours driving you up the wall?
Hardly had the chance! Its only been months since the wedding. Sonia winced at the sugar in her meringue. Why so sweet? Who teaches them to bakeprobably their nerves are shot too!
You go and show them how its done! Lisa cracked up but noticed Olgas odd expression. Whats up?
I dunno, girls. Sonias stories have got me thinking that maybe it shouldnt be all *too* peaceful.
Why, whats wrong with a normal mother-in-law? Maybe you got lucky for once! Lisa shrugged. Not all of them are emotional firecrackers like Sonias. Hers is a one-off.
Olga remembered her own mother-in-law, Mrs. Margaret Whites blunt greeting on her wedding day: Olivia, Im not a gingerbread man nor a winning lottery ticketyou dont have to like me. You hardly know me. Im a difficult old bag and prickly in my own way, so finding common ground might take effort. But for me, the familys everything. If my Tom picked you, theres a reason. I may not yet spot your merits beyond being bright and managing a first at university, but time will tell. I wont offer advice unless askedyoure not children. Help if needed, but otherwise, well see.
Olga had been floored by the honesty. Strange, someone openly reviewing their own flaws to a near stranger.
Shed met Tom at a friends wedding. While other girls eyed the bridal bouquet, she lingered on the edge, when a solidly built bloke introduced himself. Teetering on new heels, she was a head taller than him.
Not chasing the bouquet? Not up for marriage?
Nope.
Oddarent all girls supposed to dream about that?
Maybe some do. But most just want love, not paperwork.
So why not join in the fun?
Because I can barely stand in these heelsjumping would be a disaster.
They wound up talking the whole evening and he saw her home, kissing her hand goodnight and nabbing her phone number.
Olga spent half the night stroking the back of her hand where his lips had brushed, thinking what her gran would say.
Shed say, About time! Olga chuckled, recalling Grandma Maviss twinkle and gentle smile.
Mavis had raised Olga alone since her sonOlgas dadpassed and her mother left for London. At first, her mum sent postcards and trinkets but eventually vanished completely. Mavis was Olgas only family. As a stroppy teenager, Olga vented all her frustration on Gran, giving her no peace, until Gran fell ill when Olga was fifteen. Life flipped instantlyno more parties, just hospitals, studying, and caring.
Work hard, Livvy. Youre on your own nowgive me peace of mind.
Despite bleak doctors predictions, Mavis hung on for three more years, seeing Olga through to university. Her mum only reappeared two months after the funeral.
I couldnt abandon my new family she murmured. She was shocked Mavis left her home and modest plot to Olga.
Its only fair. We should share it.
Olga blew up, everything shed bottled for years spilling out. She remembered endless nights watching over her fading gran, repeating in her head, Dont stop, Gran, I need you.
Her mum left again after a firework of row and was never seen again. Olga, weathering the storm, rallied as shed promised Mavis. Lisa, whose dad owned a large furniture business, got Olga a part-time job.
Dads not sure, but I know you wont let me down.
Lisa was street-smart, a success in business but otherwise unlucky in love.
All the men I meet are odd. By now, I should be having my third baby somewhere, but instead
What? the girls cackled as Lisa mimed whacking non-existent suitors with a sword.
Id love him senseless, girls. But where is the sod? Off galivanting, no doubt. Scoundrel!
Lisas dream was a houseful of childrena dream shed swap for her law firm without blinking.
Lisa and Sonia were Olgas found familybest friends from school days. Lisa with her privileged background, Sonia from a single-mum home, sometimes stretched thin. Sonia often stayed at one or the others house if things got tough. They rallied round each otherLisa threatened to drag Olgas mum to court when she tried to contest grandmas will.
Let her try! Ill cross-examine her into dust.
No need, Lisa. She gets the message.
Lisa had a quiet word with the mum, and the matter ended before it started.
Then came Tom. Two years together, and they married. Lisa caught Olgas bouquet and immediately linked arms with Toms mate Dan.
Shall we dance?
Olga and Sonia giggled at Lisas antics, crossing their fingers for luckbut it fizzled out when Lisa dumped Dan after a month.
Not for me! she snapped, and the girls knew not to ask.
Dan still visited Olga and Toms, but Lisa always kept her distance.
Why, Lisa?
Just watch out for the nice ones. Theyre rarely as harmless as they seem.
Dan was friendly, always cheerful and helpful, and couldnt praise Olga enough to Mrs. White, who always looked pained at the compliments.
A year, then another, and Olga became pregnant. It was a shock. Doctors had them saving for IVF, claiming natural conception was impossible for Tom. Theyd adjusted to this, so the positive test floored them.
Its a miracle, Tom! Olga wept, not even pretending in front of Mrs. White, whod come for Toms birthday.
The best present ever, he said, hugging her, eyeing his mothers pursed mouth.
What now, mum? he asked, behind the wheel, driving her home.
I dont know, love. Its unexpected.
What are you implying?
Mrs. White peered at him. Do you trust your wife?
Mum!
Do you trust her? she pressed.
Of course! I never want to hear such nonsense again.
She stared out the window, lost in thought. I am happy now Now I am.
Their son Jamie arrived and Olga sank into baby duties. Margaret never imposed but always helped when asked.
Liv! Wake up! Lisa waved a hand in front of Olga, who had drifted away amidst memories. Earth to Olivia! Where are you?
Elsewhere. Sorry. Olga shook herself. Come on, girls, enough doom and gloom. Lisaany new dates?
Olga checked her phone; two hours had gone by and not one call from Margaret, checking when shed be home. Perhaps she really was gold as mothers-in-law go. Shed even urged the girls night out: Go on, take a break! Ill sit with Jamie.
Thanks Olga had no idea what else to say. Things were warm with Margaret but Olga always felt a tiny pebble between thema sharp one, you never really recover from. She couldnt put her finger on it.
She half listened as Lisa regaled them with wild dating tales, still unsettled by the odd anxiety. Wasnt everything fine?
Her phone rang loud and sudden, making her jump and nearly spill her drink.
Liv Margarets voice was so dull, Olga barely recognised it. Olivia
What happened next was a blur. Her friends shook her, poured cold water on her, phoned taxis, sorted things out. Later at home, Margaretsuddenly aged fifty yearshanded Jamie to Lisa and whispered, Will you come with me? Im scared.
Tom had crashed, hitting an open manhole. The car spun into an oncoming lorry. Gone instantly.
Olga vanished into grief. Days passed in tears or cleaning. She asked Margaret to move in, but the answer was no.
I cant. His things are still at mine, his roomsometimes I almost believe hell stroll in for pancakes.
He never asked me for pancakes, Olga admitted.
Well, we all have to keep something of our own, dont we? Margaret smiled. He always said yours were better.
Jamie shuffled between mum and nan, trying to figure out why everyone was so sad and where dad went. Olga, seeing Margaret come alive around Jamie, asked her to help more.
Six months on, with Christmas looming, the loss suddenly felt unbearable. Theyd planned to spend their first Christmas in the mountains togetherToms dream.
Ill conquer the slopes while you and Jamie build snowmen!
Learn to stand on skis first before conquering anything! Olga teased.
Hed laughed: Conquered you, didnt I? Mountains should be easier.
She wanted to scream from pain. She tried cancelling the booking, but Margaret intervened.
Lets go somewheremaybe just us three. Seems like itd do us good. Besides, first Christmas Jamie might remember
Olga eventually agreed.
The Lake District greeted them with endless rain. Only once did they make it to the grey, crashing wind-whipped shoreline.
Bleak, that, observed Olga, adjusting Jamies hat as he bounced with every wave.
Powerful. Raw. Life itself, thundering along. Margaret stared at the waves, and in that moment, Olga spontaneously hugged her, suddenly unbothered by formality.
Margaret tipped her head onto Olgas shoulder, Im grateful youre still here with me.
Still?
Yes, you and Jamie. I nearly lost you as well as Tom.
I dont understand.
Dan! Margaret spat the name.
What about Dan? Olga cast her mind back and realised hed been absent at the funeralLisa had ushered him out after shouting at him.
He came by a week later. Said hed been away, wanted to talk.
To help?
No. He wanted to say Jamie wasnt Toms. That youd had a baby by another man. It sounded like he was hinting at himself, but I cant say for sure. Said he knew Tom had problems and youd solved it your own way.
Olga felt as if shed been thumped.
And you believed him? She surprised herself with the raw fury in her voice; Jamie looked up, startled.
How do you think you and Jamie are still in my life if I had believed him? Margaret caught her arms, holding firm.
Olga was at a loss for words.
I threw him out. He liedand it was obvious. The main thing is Tom trusted youabsolutely. We didnt know each other well while he was alive, but if you’ll let me, I want us to get truly close now. I know it’s more about me needing this, but I am asking
You dont need to ask! Olga met her eye. Were family. Like my gran always saida family isnt real unless its together. Otherwise, its just a bit of smoke.
Exactlylets not be smoke. Margaret swooped up Jamie. Whats up, darling, cold? Lets get moving or well miss dinner. Tell me about your grandma, Liv.
They strolled through rain-darkened streets, talking and talking. For the first time ever, Olga found herself speaking freely, no barriers, just honesty, as she asked suddenly, Why did he do it though?
Who?
Dan. Why say all that?
I dont know, Livvy. Some people do things so twisted, no sensible person could imagine it. Malice for malices sake, maybe. I didnt ask, but when he spoke, his eyes He and Tom were close as lads, but Tom always just edged aheadsport, jobs, then you. Dan’s life stuttered somewhat. Maybe thats it, maybe not. Regardless, I’m glad he’s gone for good.
So am I
Olga didnt mention Lisas show-down with Dan in her own flatjust remembered Lisas If he comes back, throw him out. Hes worse than an enemy.
Now, finally, Olga understood.
They spent the rest of the trip talking, and Jamie darted between them, searching their faces for change, and being reassured with kisses.
Six months later, Olga hauled out forgotten high heels, put them on, and groaned, This is mediaeval torture!
Suffer for beauty! Margaret laughed, helping zip up her dress.
Cant I be beautiful in ballet flats?
Not unless you want to mop the floor with your hemdress is too long! Margaret shook her head. Bring them along and swap later. Now, quick! Grab the bouquet or Lisall never forgive you!
Elizabeths wedding was a riot of chaos and cheer. The registrar was late, the rings nearly lost (clutching them, Jamie puffed up with pride), guests were herded like cats. Finally, things calmed and Olga, as bridesmaid, sidled up to Sonia.
How are you? she patted Sonias visible bump.
Couldnt be better! Made peace with my mother-in-law for the weekend, or Lisa wouldve had no cake. Sonia fussed with the cake stand. No one does things right except me!
What happened?
Look! Sonia gestured at the cake. Got smudged in transportthree days I worked on it!
Its a masterpiece, Sonia! Lisa appeared, grinning.
Blimey, you startled me! You trying to make me godmother before Im ready?
No chance! Not todaytodays all about me. Why the long face?
Sonia shifted to block the cake. Just yknow. Fussy.
Lisa just laughed and waggled her finger. That was meI couldnt help myself. It was too tasty.
You little! Sonia gasped, mock-affronted.
Berate me later, I have to dance now! Lisa dodged away, racing to her groom.
So, whatll you do about her? Sonia huffed and slumped in a chair.
Wheres your lot, Liv?
Dancing.
Hows things, Liv?
Oh, good, Sonia. Were good.
Started calling her mum yet?
I feel awkward.
Dont be daft. Wish I had a mother-in-law like yours!
Olga watched Margaret spinning with Jamie on the dancefloor and realised Sonia was right. There was no word better suited than Mum for this woman.
Mum
She said it quietly, then louder, catching Sonias eye, nodding to herself and declaring, voice steady:
Mum.would you like to dance? Olga asked, reaching her hand toward Margaret as Jamie squealed with laughter between them.
Margaret blinked, caught off guard by the word, her lined face transforming with surprise, hurt, gratitude, and finally a joy so unguarded, Olga felt the last remnants of distance dissolve.
Of course, love, Margaret replied, her voice a little shaky.
They linked arms, Jamie whirling around their skirts, and stepped out into the swirl of music and laughter, letting the evening draw them in. The lights blurred, the bouquet flew, and someones laughter chimed like distant bells. Olga looked around at the bright facesher found family, her son, her mother-in-lawher mum.
In that moment, she understood: family wasnt in blood or marriage or the opinion of other peoples tongues. It was here, all of them choosing each other, holding on, and not letting go.
Lisa spun past, cheeks flushed, bouquet aloft, shouting, Make a wish! Sonia chased a toddler, threatening tickles and cake crumbs tumbling down her dress. Margaret squeezed Olgas hand, strong and sure.
Olga closed her eyes just for a second and felt itthe old ache inside, filled now, not gone but softened with warmth.
She wasnt alone. None of them were.
Above the music, Jamies bright voice cut the air: Look, Mummy! Grandma! Dance with me!
And they didawkwardly and beautifully together, three generations clasped in laughter and memory and hopemoving forward, exactly as they were, hearts full.
And for once, Olga didnt measure or check; she simply trusted: this was exactly enough.
