So, last night at supper, my son suddenly declared, “I’ve decided Im getting married.” Dad snorted, and Mum just stared at him, a fork halfway to her mouth.
“What on earth do you mean?” she said, looking utterly baffled. “To whom?”
“She’s new. Gorgeous, clever, so charming,” sighed the boy, his head propped up on his hand, sounding utterly lovesick.
Honestly, hes been off his food lately, and nothing seems to interest him anymore because of this girl.
“Does she even know about this?” Dad asked, trying hard not to crack up.
“Yep… I told her today and she said she doesnt mind, but she wants me to have my own flat,” he replied.
“You have one?” Mum asked, not hiding her surprise.
“Well, technically yeah, I mean, we live in a flat. Dad’s got a car and I promised Id borrow it for the wedding…”
Dad shook his head, making it very clear he hadn’t signed up for any of this and had absolutely no intention of letting him borrow his car anytime soon.
“So what does she have? Is she a good bride?” Mum was already getting involved, you know how she is.
“Yes,” said the boy, eyes lighting up. “Shes really sweet and talks so nicely.”
Mum burst out laughing, pointing at his untouched plate.
“After all, youre not eating anything,” she teased.
“Leave him be, hes got his head full of wedding plans,” Dad joked. “But youre not getting married until you show me your maths and English marks.”
The boy looked at Dad, shocked. He spent the entire day thinking about the girl, and hadnt done any homeworkhis dictation was a disaster today as he was totally distracted by this new girl in his class. She really is the prettiest girl hes ever seen. And hes not the only one smitten, so hes been pouring all his energy into trying to win her over, rather than focus on his schoolwork.
“Come on, Dad!”
“Now you’ve eaten, go and do your homework. No wedding, no flat, no caruntil your grades are above a D.”
He felt thoroughly insulted, but obediently got up and shuffled off to his room.
“Oh, these Year 5 kids,” Mum sighed.
“Dont even get me started,” Dad agreed with a groan.
