I realised something was wrong the day I noticed my wife had stopped saying I love you. I can’t quite remember when it happened. Maybe it was a week ago, perhaps a month, or earlier. All I know is that she used to say it all the timewhen we parted in the morning, when we hung up the phone, before we went to sleep. And Id always reply me too, same here, ha, love.
Im thirty-four. I work all day, leave early in the morning, and return home exhausted. I always assumed being a good husband meant doing my dutypaying the bills, sorting the shopping, being present, staying faithful. Id come home, eat, shower, then sit and scroll through my phone or watch TV. She would tell me about her day, and Id answer with single words: yeah, okay, talk later, Im tired. When she said I love you, I never thought of it as anything special. It felt routineautomatic. I never imagined Id miss hearing it.
I started to notice the change in small things. She stopped texting during the day. She used to send messages: take care, have a good day, lunch yet? Now, nothing. In the evening, shed go to bed looking at her phone, her back to me. She didnt reach for my hand anymore, didnt ask how I was. One day, I called her love, and she replied with my name. That moment, something strange stirred in my chest.
One evening, I summoned the courage and asked her, Do you still love me?
She was quiet. Didnt meet my eyes. She just said, I dont know… I dont feel the same anymore.
It felt like a dry punch. I asked what happened, if there was someone else, if Id done something terrible. She told me there was no other man, just that she was tired. Tired of feeling lonely with no company. Tired of speaking and not being heard. Tired of saying I love you and not getting anything back.
That night, I remembered all the times shed said I love you, and Id replied me too, without looking at her, without hugging her, without paying attention. I remembered days I came home and stayed glued to my phone. Moments shed asked me to go out or do something together, and Id chosen to lie down. I always believed love was shown by providing. She needed words, time, and attention.
Since then, Ive tried to change. Now I say I love you. I hug her. I send her messages. I invite her out. But its not the same. She looks at me carefully, as if she doesnt want to hope again. Sometimes, when I say I love her, she says, thank you. That hurts more than a no.
We live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, but its not the same. I feel like Im trying to put out a fire when theres barely anything left to save. I dont know if Im too late. I dont know if shes forgotten me already. I only know Id give anything to go back to the days when she said I love you without hesitation.
What would you advise me?
