One evening, I got home and was taken aback by what I saw. My daughter Emily was packing her belongings: clothes, toiletries, and even her tech gadgets. I asked her where she was planning to go.
It turned out that my eighteen-year-old Emily suddenly decided she was grown-up. I exclaimed in disbelief, and she told me:
Dad, Im moving out to live with James.
What do you mean, moving out? Who is this lad? Arent you going to introduce us first? Whose money are you planning to live on? Does he have a family? I think youre rushing this, I replied.
Dad, come on. Its the twenty-first century. Im an adult, Ive got my own life! my daughter shot back.
I didnt say anything else. I realised that there was nothing more I could do. I watched as Emily packed away her laptop and quietly said goodbye to it all. I never really used the blender anyway. My daughter finished packing and left. From the window, I saw a young man helping her carry everything to the car. If shes determined to try adult life, let her go for it! Lets see how that turns out. The next day, I changed the locksgoodness knows what to expect with Emily and her new boyfriend.
A few days passed. I didnt hear a peep from my daughter. I hadnt expected shed jump straight into adulthood quite so quickly. Then, out of the blue, my phone rang. It was Emily.
Dad, will you pay for my college fees?
It stung a bit to get a call from Emily only to be asked if Id cover her education. She didnt even ask how I was.
No. Youre an independent woman now. I dont want to meddle in your affairs, I replied.
Brilliant. Thanks, Dad! Emily said, clearly frustrated, and hung up.
This is exactly what she wanted. Shell learn what adult life is really like.
I decided to turn her room into a study. After all, she doesnt live with me anymore. I even picked out a nice desk and some chairs, but left her bed in case she needed time to reflect or wanted to come back.
Two weeks went by. I was headed home from work when I saw my daughter at the door, struggling with her bags. She looked upset.
Emily, why didnt you tell me you were coming? I asked.
I was embarrassed, Dad. Arent you happy to see me? she replied between tears.
Of course I am. What are you talking about? Lets go inside.
We went into the flat. Emily started putting her things back where they belonged. But her coffee machine was missing. As it turned out, it had been left at her boyfriends mums house, whod kept it as payment for room and board. James, it turned out, was thirty. When Emily realised I wouldnt pay her uni fees, she asked her boyfriend, but he didnt fancy paying for his girlfriends needsor taking responsibility for her.
What I really wonder is, what was James thinking, bringing my unemployed daughter into his parents home?
That was the day I learned: sometimes, the only way for your children to grow up is to let them try and fall a little. Only then do they appreciate what being an adult really means.
