Nearly two years ago, my husband said something to me that I know Ill never be able to forget. Sitting at our small dining table in the heart of Manchester, he told me, You live so predictably that Im bored of you. While Thomas thought our life was dull, I was actually content with it. Each morning, Id get up early, have my breakfast, do a bit of yoga, and then get ready for work. The first thing I always did, though, was to organise Thomas for the day, since his job started before mine, and only then did I get myself sorted. We made all our meals at home, and Id pack us both a proper lunch. Every evening, Id pop into the Tesco on the way home, then cook, tidy up, and do the laundry. Before bed, wed watch a bit of telly, then head to sleep.
I thought I was doing everything right. Life was comfortably routine: Thomas had clean shirts, the house was spotless, and everything seemed cosy. What more could anyone want? Every Saturday, Id do a big clean, bake something nice, and cook a proper dinner. In the evening, wed either have friends round or go out in town for a bit. Sundays were reserved for family visitshalf the day at Thomass parents, half with mine. Wed help out with little chores, have a good natter, and just enjoy each others company.
After all that, Sunday evenings were spent relaxing at home. We never argued, never raised our voices. There was harmony and peace in our flat. But one day, Thomas declared that he was tired of it all. For hours, he went on about how dissatisfied he felt, comparing us to his mates who seemed to be having a blastliving life to the full, always up for something new. Not like us. He even said we didnt argue enough. That day, he just walked out of the flat.
I was honestly happy with the way things were and didnt feel any need to change. But for the sake of the man I loved, I decided I was willing to do anything, even if it meant turning my whole world upside down. First, I decided to change my look. I cleared out my wardrobe and went on a shopping spree, spending the savings we had put aside for a little cottage in the countryside. I bought loads of new clothes, got a short haircut, and even dyed my hair. I was determined not to look boring any longer. Then, I found a new jobnot just another office admin role, but working as an events planner. Through this, I discovered so many quirky activities and met people from every walk of life.
A week later, Thomas came home, and you should have seen the look on his face. From that moment, I promised him wed live differently. And we did. We were rarely ever home anymoreinstead, we were out and about, always on the move, meeting new people. Every night was something new: a pub, a restaurant, a gig, a mates flat, or a pop-up event. One night wed be camping by the Lake District, another cycling through the Peak District, or kayaking down the Thames. Weekends were spent exploring new cities or getting away to the seaside.
After a few months of our new, unpredictable routine, Thomas started to complain that he missed the quiet. He confessed he longed for silence, just sitting at home, the comfort of a homemade meal, and my cakes. Now, I simply didnt have the time or energy to stand by the stove. I had changed so much that he started to miss the old me.
And a week later, Thomas told me he simply couldnt keep up. He wanted to return to the old daysto the comfort, the quiet, the familiar. He wanted evenings at home and Sundays spent with the family, eating warm, homemade food instead of takeaways heated up in the microwave.
But things had shifted. I found that the new life suited me. I had worked so hard to adapt to adulthood and its responsibilities, and now I just couldnt go back. As much as Id once liked my old ways, now I was content where I was. When Thomas asked again for everything to return to how it had been, it led to a real row.
That night, dishes were smashed, the neighbours came round, and the police were called. Thomas packed his things and went off to stay with his mum. Maybe he hoped hed return and find me the way I used to be. But that would be asking too much. We arent characters in a film; you cant just flick a switch and change back.
When Thomas comes home, hell find divorce papers on the table and a note saying that now its me whos grown bored, and I simply cant live with him anymore.
Sometimes, change is unstoppable, and trying to force things back to how they were can break whats left. The lesson Ive learned is that life is about balancebetween routine and excitement, between giving and takingand that sometimes you need to move forward, even if others want to stay behind.
