Convenient Grandmothers
Margaret White awoke to laughter. Not a muted giggle, not a polite chuckle, but a booming, unabashed cackle that echoed around the hospital ward with a cheeriness shed always found intolerable. The woman in the next bed was at it, phone pressed to her ear and her free arm cutting the air as if the person at the other end could see her performance.
Linda, youre unbelievable! Honestly? He just said that? In front of everyone?
Margaret glanced at the clock. Quarter to seven. She had fifteen precious minutes before the nurses would come bustling in to start the day, fifteen minutes shed planned to spend quietly gathering her thoughts before the operation.
Last night, when theyd wheeled her into the ward, the woman had already been there, quick fingers firing off texts on her phone. Their greetings had been brief, just a Good evening and a Hello, before each withdrew to her own silent universe. Margaret had appreciated that silence. Now it was spoiled by this mornings circus.
Sorry, she said, clear but quiet. Could you lower your voice, please?
Her neighbour turned, round-cheeked, cropped grey hair unashamedly un-dyed, andgood heavensa bright pyjama set covered in cherry-red polka dots, in hospital of all places!
Oh, Linda, Ill call you back. Someones giving me the look. She put her phone away and gave Margaret a wide grin. Sorry! Im Patricia Evans. Did you get any sleep? I never do before surgery, so I end up calling everyone I know.
Margaret White. Just because you cant sleep doesnt mean the rest of us dont need to.
But youre not asleep now, Patricia replied with a wink. Alright, I promisestrictly whispers from now on.
She did not, in fact, whisper. Before breakfast rolled around, Patricia had made two more phone calls, each louder than the last. Margaret rolled over to face the wall, yanking the blanket up, but Patricias voice still crept through.
My daughter called, Patricia explained as they sat with their untouched breakfast trays. She worries, you know, before these things. I try to reassure her as best I can.
Margaret didnt reply. Her son hadnt called. She wasnt surprised; he had told her about an important meeting first thing. Thats how shed raised him: work is work, responsibilities matter.
Patricia was wheeled off to her surgery first, waving at the staff and sending the nurse into peals of laughter with some remark down the hallway. Margaret prayed shed have a new room-mate post-op.
An hour later, it was Margarets turn. She always struggled with anaesthetic, and when she came round, nausea and a heavy ache throbbed under her ribs. The nurse was kind, explaining shed done well and it would pass. Margaret endured. Endurance, after all, was what she knew.
By evening, she was brought back to the ward. Patricia lay on her bed already, ghostly pale with her eyes closed, an IV taped to her hand. Blessed, unfamiliar silence.
How are you? Margaret heard herself ask, surprising herself.
Patricias eyes fluttered open. A weak smile.
Still here, somehow. You?
Same.
Twilight settled beyond the window. Their IVs clinked quietly.
Sorry about this morning, Patricia murmured unexpectedly. I talk when Im nervous. Drives people mad, I know, but I cant switch it off.
Margaret wanted to come up with something sharp. She was too worn out. Its fine.
That night, neither slept. Both hurt. Patricia didnt call anyone, just lay still, tossing occasionally, sighing. Margaret thought she heard muffled tears once, sobbed into her pillow.
The doctor arrived next morning, checked their wounds, took their temperatures, smiled at them both. Well done, ladies, things are looking good. Patricia pounced on her phone.
Linda, hi! Yes, Im still aliveno need to worry now. Hows everything there? Is Charlie still under the weather? What? All better? I told you, nothing to worry about!
Margaret caught herself listening. Everything clearly meant the grandchildrenher daughter reporting in.
Margarets own phone remained mute, save for two texts from her son. Mum, how are you? and Let me know when you can. Sent last night while shed still been foggy from the anaesthetic.
She typed: All fine! Then added a smiley. Her son liked emojis, said messages without them sounded cold.
Three hours later, he replied: Brilliant! Love you.
Dont your family visit? Patricia asked over lunch.
My sons busy. Lives far off. And really, theres no needIm hardly a child.
Exactly, Patricia nodded. My daughter says much the same: Mum, youre a grown woman, you can manage! No point coming by if Im alright, is there?
There was something in Patricias voice that prompted Margaret to look more closely. Patricia smiled, but her eyes were hollow.
How many grandchildren? Margaret asked gently.
Three. Charlies the eldest, hes eight. Then Molly and Alfiethree and four. Want to see some photos? Patricia rummaged in her locker for her phone.
For twenty minutes, she scrolled through photo after photo: children in the garden, at the seaside, faces smeared with icing. Patricia was present in all of themhugging, kissing, pulling silly faces. The daughter was never in view.
Shes usually behind the camerahates being photographed, Patricia explained.
Do the kids come to you often?
I nearly live with them! Patricia laughed hollowly. My daughter works full-time, so does her husband. Iwell, I help out. School runs, homework, dinners.
Margaret nodded. Much the same for her. In her grandsons early years, she was there daily. Now he was older, she helped out maybe monthly. If their schedules coincided.
And you?
Just the one grandson. Hes nine. Good lad, does well in school, plays football.
See him much?
Every few Sundays, if theyre free. Theyre always busy. I understand.
Patricia gazed at the rain beyond the window. Busy. Yes.
The day faded. When evening came, Patricia spoke in a low voice.
I dont want to go home, she said, her knees drawn up, staring at the floor.
Why not?
What for? Ill go back, Charlie will be in trouble with his homework, Molly with a runny nose, Alfies trousers torn again. My daughter working late, my son-in-laws somewhere or other. Ill be back to washing, cooking, cleaning, sitting, helping. And they never even… she paused, they dont even say thank you. Because, well, thats what grandmothers do, isnt it? Thats what we are for.
Margaret was silent. A lump tightened in her throat.
Sorry, Patricia said, wiping her eyes. Ignore me. Im being silly.
Dont apologise, Margaret replied quietly. When I retired five years ago, I thought Id finally get time for myself. I wanted to go to the theatre, visit museums. I even signed up for a French class. Lasted two weeks.
What happened?
My daughter-in-law went on maternity leave. Asked me to help. I wasnt working, she figured I had time. I couldnt refuse.
And?
Three years, every day. Then, when my grandson started nursery, every other day. Later, every week. Now… Now they dont really need me. They have a nanny. I just wait, see if they remember to call.
Patricia nodded.
My daughter was meant to come visit in November. I cleaned the whole house, baked pies. She rang: Mum, sorry, Charlies got footballcant make it.
Did she come after?
No. I gave the pies to my neighbour.
The rain tapped against the window as they fell quiet.
Whats really hard, Patricia admitted, isnt that they dont come. Its that I still wait. I sit there clinging to my phone, hoping maybe this time someone rings just to say they missed me. Not because they need something.
Margaret felt the sting of tears.
I wait, too, she confessed softly. Every time the phone rings, I think perhaps my son just wants a chat. But theres always a reason.
And still we help, Patricia sighed, almost laughing. Because were mothers, arent we?
Yes.
Dressings started the next morning, painful for both of them. Afterward they lay in silence until Patricia spoke.
I always thought I had a happy family. A lovely daughter, decent son-in-law, wonderful grandchildren. I thought I was needed. That I was indispensable.
And?
And now I seehere of all placesthat they get by just fine. My daughter hasnt once called to say its tough. Shes actually cheerful. They manage perfectlyso long as theres a convenient gran to pick up the slack.
Margaret pushed herself up on one elbow.
Do you know what I realised? Its my fault, really. Ive shown my son Ill always help, always drop everything, always put his needs before mine.
I was the same, Patricia agreed. Always running when my daughter asked.
We trained them to treat us like… not people, Margaret said slowly. Like we dont have our own lives.
Patricia was silent, considering this.
What now? she whispered.
I dont know.
On the fifth morning, Margaret stood without assistance. By the sixth, shed made the full circuit of the corridor. Patricia lagged by a day but followed determinedly. They walked together, hands to the wall for support.
After my husband died, I felt completely lost, Patricia confided, pausing for breath. My daughter told me Id found a new purposelive for your grandchildren now, Mum. So I did. But its always been a one-way street. I live for them; they need me when it suits.
Margaret told her story. How shed brought her son up alone after her divorce thirty years ago. Juggling studies at night, working two jobs.
I thought if I was the perfect mother, hed be the perfect son. If I gave him everything, hed be grateful.
But he grew up and got on with his own life, Patricia finished for her.
Yes. And thats normal, probably. But I didnt expect to feel quite so… alone.
Nor did I.
On the seventh day, Margarets son turned up unexpectedly. She was reading when he appeared in the doorwaytall, smartly dressed, clutching a bag of fruit.
Hi Mum! He smiled and kissed her forehead. Feeling better?
Much.
Good! Doctor says youll be out in three days. You could come stay with usthe guest rooms empty, Alice said youd be welcome.
Thank you, but Id rather go home.
Whatever you like. But ring if you change your mind.
He stayed less than twenty minutes, updating her on work, his son, his new car. Asked if she needed money. Said hed come again next week, then left briskly, a touch too relieved.
Patricia lay with her back to them, faking sleep. Once the door closed, she spoke.
Yours?
Yes.
Handsome chap.
He is.
But cold, like marble.
Margaret said nothing. Her throat ached.
You know, Patricia began quietly, I think maybe we need to stop expecting love from them. Maybe we need to just… let go? Accept that our children have their own livesand we need to find ours.
Easier said than done.
Tough to do. But what else is there? We cant just sit about waiting for them to remember us.
What did you tell your daughter? Margaret suddenly slipped, switching to you informally.
Told her that after discharge, Id need a proper rest. Doctors orders. No childcare for at least two weeks.
And what did she say?
She wasnt pleased. But I said, Linda, youre a grown woman. Youll work it out. For now, I cant help.
She cross?
Oh, livid. Patricia actually smiled. But to be honest, I felt lighter. As if a weight had fallen away.
Margaret closed her eyes.
Im scared. Scared if I refuse, if I say no, theyll stop ringing altogether.
Do they call you often now?
Silence.
There you go. It can only get better.
On their eighth day, both were discharged at the same time. They packed silently, the air heavy with unspoken farewells.
Swap numbers? Patricia suggested.
Margaret nodded. They entered their contacts. Then stood for a moment, unsure.
Thank you, Margaret managed. For being here.
Thank you, Patricia said. Its been thirty years since I spoke to anyone from the heart, like this.
Me too.
They hugged, gently, arms careful not to pull stitches. The nurse brought their notes and summoned taxis. Margaret left first.
Home was quiet and still. She unpacked, took a shower, and lay on the sofa. Her phone buzzedthree messages from her son. Are you home? Ring when you get in, Dont forget your tablets.
She replied: Home now. Alls well. Put the phone down.
She stood and went to the cupboard. Pulled out a folder untouched for five yearsa French class brochure, a season schedule from the Philharmonic stuffed between the pages. Margaret stared at them, thinking.
The phone rangPatricia.
Hi. Sorry for calling so soon. I just… needed to.
Im glad you did. Really glad.
Listen, shall we meet up? Once were properly back on our feet. In a week or so. We could grab a coffee, or just walk. If youd like.
Margaret looked at the brochure in her hand, then at the phone. Then back again.
Id love that. Actuallyshall we not wait weeks? Saturday, perhaps? Im sick of lying about.
Saturday? Really? The doctor said
I know what they said. But Ive spent thirty years putting everyone else first. Time to think about me for once.
Deal. Saturday it is.
They said goodbye. Margaret laid the phone aside and returned to the brochure. The French class started in a monthplaces still available.
She opened her laptop and began the registration, hands trembling. But she finished.
Outside, rain streaked the windows. But the sun was fighting through, weak and hesitant, but definitely there.
Margaret thought, perhaps for the first time, that life might just be beginning again. She pressed submit.












