Hey love, buckle up cause Ive got to tell you whats been happening. My exhusband, James, walked out on us about a year ago. He just said hed met someone else, that hed fallen in love and that Id never really mattered to him. Suddenly hes all Ive found a real family, Ive got true feelings now.
He didnt even think about the fact I couldnt get back to work our little boy, Max, was only a year and a half old. Our older lad, Luke, was in nursery, and we were barely scraping by. The only family I had left was my sister in Manchester.
Dont worry, youll manage, my motherinlaw said over the phone. The flat is still yours, so youve at least got a roof over your head. Be grateful James is still paying child support. He was, in fact, paying about a quarter of his official salary.
James never filed for divorce, and I didnt have the energy to chase it. Two toddlers, a freelance job just to keep some money coming in, it was all a massive strain.
My motherinlaw would pop over once a month to see the grandkids, sometimes with a bag of apples or a bunch of bananas.
James didnt lift a finger with the kids. He kept saying he was moving on to new children.
So for a whole year it was just me, the kids, and a constant fight to get by.
At the end of that year a spot opened up at the nursery and Max got a place. I could finally go back to work and things breathed a little easier.
One day, my motherinlaw called, all bright and cheery. James is going to be a dad soon, she announced, then added, Get the divorce sorted quick, I dont want my grandchild born out of wedlock. Turns out his new partner was already eight weeks pregnant, so I filed.
A week later James got into a car crash. He loved pushing the limits, reckless overtakes and this time luck was on the opposite side.
The car wed bought together was a total writeoff, and James ended up in hospital with a mountain of injuries. The doctors said there was barely any hope hed walk again.
My motherinlaw was sobbing on the phone. I felt sorry for her after all, James was still technically my husband. Then she dropped a bomb: You need to get James out of the hospital and look after him.
Me? Why me? I asked, flat out shocked.
Because youre his wife, you havent divorced yet, she replied. His girlfriend terminated the pregnancy yesterday she doesnt want a child with a disabled dad. And you, as his wife, are responsible for him now!
The divorce hadnt become final because the court date kept getting pushed back while he was in hospital.
I told my motherinlaw my duties as a wife ended the moment James walked out without a second thought for me or the kids. He left me, cheated on me, abandoned our children, I said. Its a sad coincidence were still married, but Ill sort it. James still has his mother, who loves him to bits.
She shot back, You expect me to look after my own son? I stopped caring for him when he was a baby. Now its the wifes job! Youre heartless and ungrateful. Ill tell the grandchildren their mother abandoned their father when he became disabled.
Now it looks like Im the one who walked away not him a year ago!
In the end, my motherinlaw hauled James out of the hospital herself. Hes recovering slowly and the doctors are a bit less gloomy now. The divorce finally went through.
These days my former motherinlaw is telling anyone in Bristol, Now I have to look after my sick son in my old age! His wife left him, the kids as well! What kind of women are these nowadays? As long as a mans fit and earning, hes welcome. The minute hes disabled, they kick him out!
And you know what? Plenty of people nod along, shaking their heads with faux sympathy. All the while it was James who fled when he was still healthy.
My best mate suggested I sell the flat and move somewhere far away. My sister in Manchester has offered me a place to stay, so I think Ill take her up on that.
What would you do, love? I could really use your thoughts.
