“Mum, maybe we should just let Gran wander off and get lost? It’d be better for everyone,” said Emily defiantly.
“Mum, how much longer can we go on like this? Are you going to remind me of this for the rest of my life?” snapped fifteen-year-old Emily.
“Not for the rest of your life, just while shes living with us. If she goes outside, shell get lost and”
“And die under some hedge, and well live with the guilt. Mum, maybe we should just let her?” Emily challenged again.
“Let her what?” Mum frowned.
“Let her go and get lost. Youve said yourself youre fed up with looking after her.”
“How can you say that? Shes my mother-in-law, not my own mother, but shes still your grandmother!”
“Grandmother?” Emily narrowed her eyes, as she always did when anger rose. “Where was she when her precious son walked out on us? When she refused to babysit meher own granddaughter? She had no pity for you when you were scrambling for any job to earn an extra pound And she even blamed you when Dad left!”
“Stop it right now!” Mum snapped. “I shouldnt have told you any of this.” She sighed. “Ive raised you poorly if you cant feel compassion for someone, especially family. It terrifies me. Will you treat me like this when Im old? Whats happened to you? You were always such a kind girl. You couldnt walk past a stray kitten or puppy without bringing it home. Gran isnt a stray” Mum shook her head wearily. “Shes already suffering enough. Your father abandoned her too, not just us.”
“Mum, youll be late for work. I promise Ill lock the door.” Emily looked guilty.
“Alright, or well just keep saying things well regret” But Mum didnt move.
“Mum, Im sorry, but it hurts to look at you. Skin and bones. Youre only forty, and you walk hunched like an old woman, barely able to drag your feet. Always exhausted. Why are you looking at me like that? Wholl tell you the truth if not your own daughter?” Emily hadnt noticed her voice rising again.
“Thank you. Just make sure she doesnt leave the gas on or the tap running.”
“See? Thats what I meanwere tied to her, no life of our own. Mum, lets put her in a care home. Shell have proper supervision there. She doesnt understand anything anymore”
“Are we back to this?” Mum cut her off.
“Itd be better for everyone, especially her,” Emily pressed on, ignoring Mums irritation.
“I dont want to hear another word. Im not sending her away. How much time does she have left? Let her stay at home.”
“Shell outlive both of us. Go to work. I wont go anywhere, Ill lock the door, I promise,” Emily muttered bitterly.
“Sorry. Ive put too much on you All your friends are out enjoying themselves, and youre stuck caring for Gran.”
They spoke without noticing Grans door slightly ajar. She likely heard everything but probably wouldnt remember it by the next minute.
Mum left for work, and Emily went into what used to be her room, now Grans.
“Gran, do you need something?”
Grans gaze was blank.
“Come on, Ill give you a sweet.” Emily helped her up and led her to the kitchen.
“Who are you?” Gran stared vacantly.
“Have your tea.” Emily sighed, placing a wrapped toffee on the table.
Gran loved sweets. She and Mum used to hide them, rationing her to one with tea. Emily watched as Gran fumbled with the wrapper. Through her thinning grey hair, patches of pale scalp showed. Emily looked away.
Gran used to dye her hair, pile it high, wear bright lipstick and pencilled brows. Emily remembered her floral perfume, how men used to glance at her before her mind slipped away.
She couldnt untangle her feelingspity? Resentment? A knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts.
“Mum mustve forgotten something.” But it was her friend, sixth-former James. Mum disapproved of him, so he only visited when she wasnt home.
“Hi. Youre earlyMum just left.”
“I know. She didnt see me.”
“Millie!” Grans voice floated from the kitchen.
“Whos Millie?” James asked.
“Thats what she calls Mum, thinks shes her daughter. Ill take her back to her room. Wait in the loo. Shes having one of her clear moments.” She nudged him toward the bathroom.
“Theres no one here.” Back in the kitchen, Emily saw an empty cup and crumpled wrapper.
“I want tea.”
“But” Emily gave up explaining. Gran forgot everything quickly, especially recent things, yet recalled distant memories vividly. She often confused them, mistook them for strangersexcept in rare, fleeting moments of clarity.
Emily couldnt tell if Gran was slyly angling for another sweet or genuinely forgot shed just had tea. She sighed, refilled the cup, and set out another toffee. Gran struggled with the wrapper, fingers stiff. When she finished, Emily led her back to bed.
“Sleep now.” She shut the door.
James peered out from the bathroom.
“Can I come out?”
“Yes. Kitchen.” She glanced at Grans door, then followed him.
They sat close, sharing earbuds, music low. Emily swayed slightly, eyes half-shut. She didnt notice Gran slipping out into the hallway
When she went to see James out, the front door was wide open.
“The doorI didnt lock it. Shes gone. Mumll think I did it on purpose,” Emily gasped, near tears.
“Why would she think that?”
“You dont get it. I said today we should let her wander off. Mumll think I left it unlocked to spite her.”
“Right, grab your coat. She cant have gone far.”
Emily checked the coat rackGrans quilted jacket was there. So were her shoes.
“She went out in slippers and a dressing gown?”
“Maybe shes at a neighbours? Went into the wrong flat Ill check outside, you try the other flats.” James dashed downstairs.
No one answered the doors. Emily ran outside. James was searching the playground, bushesnothing.
“Lets check nearby streets. You go right, Ill go left. Meet back here if you find her.”
Emily even checked the bus stop. No sign. How long had it been? Half an hour? Where could she go in slippers?
“We should call the police.”
“Wait. Thinkwhat did she talk about most? Favourite places?” James panted.
Emily racked her brain but drew a blank.
“Fine, widen the search. You head toward the school, Ill go the other way.”
Streetlights flickered unevenly. Emily hurried past dark patches, sensing unseen figures in the shadows. Near the school, she suddenly remembered Grans storyonce forgetting an exercise book, climbing out a first-floor window, nearly breaking her leg.
Though Gran hadnt gone to this school, she always told the story passing by. The gate was unlocked. The building was L-shaped. Rounding one wing, she saw a group of lads laughing at someone.
Gran stood in the courtyard in her blue-grey dressing gown. One lad held out an empty wrapper. As she reached for it, he yanked it back, and they roared.
“She doesnt understand. You escape from the loony bin? Want a sweet?” He dangled the wrapper again.
“Leave her alone!” Emily shouted.
The boys turned.
“Look, another one!”
“Whore you? Granddaughter?”
“Escaped together? Want a sweet?” The lad swaggered toward her.
The others followed. Emily stepped back. They closed in, blocking Gran, sensing her fear. Emilys back hit the fence. The gate was too far. As if on cue, they lunged.
She flailed, but there were three of them. One pinned her arms, others pressed her against the railingsimmobile. Hands groped, deciding whod go first
“Oi! Back off!” Jamess voice cut through.
Two stepped away, but one still held her. A scuffle broke out. Emily kicked her captor. He yelped, releasing her. She grabbed a broken plank, swungtoo short, hitting his back instead.
He cursed, lunged. She sprinted for the gate.
“Love! Over here! Weve called the police!” A couple stood beyond the fence.
The boys bolted at the word “police.” Emily turned back. James was on the ground.
“Help me up next time. No gratitude,” the man muttered.
“Never mind, its over,” the woman said.
