I swallowed my tears: How I turned from a fatherly king into an old, unwanted man
I’ve been alone all my life
I grew up an orphan.
I don’t remember my parents – they left when I was just a few years old.
My grandmother raised me. She was strict but fair. She taught me to work hard, not to complain, and not to expect help from anyone.
I matured early.
I didn’t quite finish school – I left after the eighth year to start working.
Then, I got married.
I was only 18, but I felt like an adult who understood how the world worked and could make my family happy.
A year later, I had a daughter.
I didn’t realize then how much that little bundle in blankets would change my life.
I looked at her and vowed, “You won’t grow up like I did. You’ll have everything.”
From that moment, my path was clear – work hard.
My wife left, leaving me alone with our child
Family happiness didn’t last long.
My wife couldn’t take it.
She wanted to go out, have fun, while I… I worked from dawn till dusk so our daughter wouldn’t want for anything.
She started coming home late at night.
Eventually, I discovered there was someone else.
And then she disappeared from our lives.
She left without even saying goodbye to our daughter.
I didn’t cry.
I couldn’t allow myself such a weakness.
I simply kept working.
I rushed from one job to another, didn’t know what weekends were, and couldn’t remember the last time I’d slept more than four hours in a row.
But it didn’t bother me.
Because I had her – my girl, my princess.
I promised myself that she would be happy.
And I kept that promise.
I bought her everything she dreamed of.
Toys. Dolls. A bicycle.
Even when money was tight – I found a way.
I worked, worked, worked…
And she’d hug me around the neck and say:
“Dad, you’re the best! You’re my king!”
And for those words, I was willing to do anything.
I went to work overseas for her
As my daughter grew, the expenses increased.
A computer, a phone, trendy clothes, trips…
And then – the prom.
“Dad, I found the perfect dress! It’s only 800 pounds!”
I didn’t show how much that price pained me.
I smiled and said:
“Of course, my princess. We’ll get it.”
But that same evening I packed my bags and left for overseas work.
I went where they paid well, where one could earn more in a month than a year at home.
I worked as a porter, a builder, a guard – whatever paid, just to send her money.
I lived on bread and water, sharing a cramped room with ten others like me.
But it didn’t matter.
Because I did it for her.
Because she was my princess.
And for her, I was willing to collapse from exhaustion.
I paid for everything – her studies, her wedding, her child…
She went to university.
“Dad, I need to pay for this semester…”
“Of course, darling.”
“Dad, I need money for rent, food, studies…”
“Of course, darling.”
I didn’t complain.
I didn’t tell her how hard it was for me.
I just worked.
And then she fell in love.
“Dad, I’m getting married!”
I felt my heart contract.
She was still so young…
“Are you sure, love?”
“Yes, Dad. I love him.”
Again, I said nothing.
I just reached into my pocket and pulled out the last of the money I had earned.
The wedding.
Then the birth of a child.
More expenses again.
I didn’t mind.
I was happy.
Then, I became unnecessary…
Years passed.
I grew older.
Working became difficult.
I could no longer run around construction sites, carry heavy loads, or stand on my feet for 14 hours straight.
One day I thought:
“Why not buy a car? Make my life a little easier…”
And I called my daughter.
“Sweetheart, I’ve decided to buy a car. After all, I’m not getting any younger, and walking everywhere is hard…”
I expected her to say:
“Of course, Dad! You’ve done so much for us, you deserve it!”
But instead, I heard laughter.
“Dad, a car for you?! Are you crazy? Where would you even drive it? You’re already old!”
And then she added:
“Give us the money. We want to decorate a nursery for our son.”
I fell silent.
Then simply said:
“Of course, sweetheart.”
And I handed over the money.
I’m no longer a king. I’m just an old man…
I realized that day.
I’m no longer important.
I’m no longer needed.
I was needed while I could give.
But when it was time to think about myself – I turned out to be superfluous.
I swallowed my tears.
I didn’t argue.
I just understood.
Now I’m just an old man who’s in the way.
And you know what I think now?
She will become a mother too.
She will also see her children grow up.
And then, one day, on a rainy day, she will suddenly remember me.
Remember how I worked for her, didn’t sleep, didn’t eat, didn’t live for myself.
And then she’ll understand.
And then she’ll realize what a mistake she made.
I’m not angry.
I’m just waiting for that day…
