When Happiness is Absent: She Belittled Me, But I Endured for the Kids
I Stayed Silent for Too Long
For a long time, I hesitated to share this story.
It seemed there were people with problems far worse than mine.
Yet now, after 30 years of marriage, I feel emptiness inside.
I want to scream, to shout: “Life shouldn’t be this way!”
But who cares?
I’m 58, living in a house that’s long ceased to be home.
Together, yet apart.
Under one roof, yet strangers.
And perhaps nothing can change now.
I Married Without Love – and Paid the Price
When I was 28, my parents insisted I marry Jane.
I didn’t love her.
Back then, love seemed unimportant. The main things were family, stability, and respect.
We got married.
Jane quickly revealed her true colors.
She humiliated me in front of friends, mocked me, called me useless.
In public, she held my hand warmly, but at home, behind closed doors, she called me worthless.
Everything about me annoyed her – how I ate, how I spoke, how I breathed.
But I endured.
I endured for the sake of the children.
To keep the family intact.
I thought over time it would change.
But it only got worse.
We Lived Like Neighbours. Only Neighbours Don’t Humiliate Each Other
When our sons grew up and left, Jane completely stopped hiding her disdain for me.
I built an extension onto the house and moved in there.
We no longer had family dinners.
We shared everything – the fridge, dishes, space in the house.
She hid her food in containers and labeled them so I wouldn’t accidentally take her stuff.
I ate separately, slept separately, lived separately.
And when acquaintances remarked,
– You’re such a solid couple!
I wanted to laugh in their faces.
Each Day, a Struggle for the Right to Simply Exist
When Jane wasn’t working, the house turned into a battleground.
She yelled, argued, blamed me for everything.
– You’re pathetic!
– You’re useless!
– You’ve achieved nothing!
I tried to stay silent.
I thought if I didn’t respond, if I just waited it out, things would calm down.
But no.
She never tired of finding reasons for new insults.
One day, I overheard her telling a friend:
– He’s not even a man. Just a pathetic addition to the house.
For the first time in my life, I felt everything inside me collapse.
I lived with someone who saw me as nobody.
And the worst part was, I had nowhere to go.
I had worked so many years, built a home, raised children… And now I had to endure this just to have a roof over my head.
I Don’t Know Why I’m Still Here
I could have left.
But where would I go?
The children have grown, they have their own families. They rarely visit, and when they do – they pretend not to notice anything.
It’s easier for them to think everything’s fine.
And I just don’t care anymore.
I’m simply waiting.
Waiting for this nightmare to end.
Waiting until I’m too weary to be angry, to argue, to respond.
Waiting for the day I can, at least in old age, feel that there’s someone next to me who doesn’t look at me with hatred.
I don’t know why I’m writing all this.
Maybe to tell those who are young now:
Don’t marry without love.
Don’t live in a house where you’re belittled.
Don’t endure just for the children – they’ll grow up and leave anyway.
I prayed my sons would be happier than me.
And if my story teaches someone what I didn’t understand, then it wasn’t all in vain.
