I read the confession of a girl whose parents love the youngest child more. I understand all her pain and resentment. I have a slightly different situation though.
I became responsible very early on as I went from being the only son I loved to the oldest at one point. The difference with my sister was 5 years. Immediately there was rebukes from parents, punishments, and inflated expectations. And this from a 5 year old!
I don’t hold a grudge against my parents, because I love my little sister very much, and she responds to me in the same way. But I still think they stole my childhood from me. They see the coldness on my part and are offended. The argument is that all families are like that. But I remember very painful for me phrases like, “you have to help, but you only interfere”, “do not touch candy, it’s for my sister …
Now I’m 28 years old. My parents are not happy that I am not married. And I am comfortable on my own. I provide for myself, I live alone. I don’t want a family, children. I feel like I’m tired, that I can’t do anything else but myself. I am more attracted to people who are older than me. Apparently I didn’t have enough adult love, I didn’t have grandparents.
It may seem like I’m complaining, but I’m not. I just can’t understand why parents shift their care for the youngest child to the oldest! I was often scolded for something my sister did because I wasn’t watching out or setting a bad example. My sister quickly learned to take advantage of this, and if I wouldn’t let her take her things, she would start crying, run complaining, sometimes saying I hit her. No one even tried to ask and hear me, because such a sweet baby would not just cry!
That’s the kind of childish resentment and complexes I have to live with. I’m not waiting for advice, just wanted to speak out. And I also hope that some of the parents will draw conclusions.
