Such a banal, sad life story – I fell in love with a friend of my husband.
It was a long time ago. My husband-to-be proposed, and I said yes. I thought it was love. We applied, set a date for our wedding. Everything was fine. Then trips to his and my relatives and friends started, we are a couple now, always and everywhere together. And at one party I met his friend and that was it, I couldn’t think of anyone else. Husband’s friend, suave, funny, sensitive, outwardly 100 points. I saw that he was watching me with his eyes, a couple of times he went out to the kitchen to smoke, but really wanted to talk to me (I helped the hostess to set the table, to clean up the table, to wash the dishes). There was always someone coming in and out, either my fiancé or the other guests. It was impossible to talk about anything other than the weather, but it seemed to me that we were talking without words.
After this meeting I realized that I didn’t love my fiancé. I gently questioned my boyfriend about my friend. And he turned out to be married and his wife had just given birth, the baby was premature and they were in the hospital. I couldn’t make the decision to cancel or postpone the wedding, I didn’t have the guts. And I decided, foolishly and young to get married, not to lose sight of a friend, to know everything about their family firsthand.
I must say that my wife was always criticizing him and making remarks in public, displeased with everything. At one time my husband started saying that they seemed to have decided to separate, living together with his mother-in-law, arguing, he was tired. I was waiting, wishing it were true. And if it had happened, I would have, even though we already had one child, divorced without thinking. But their divorce didn’t happen. My mother-in-law died and they reconciled.
We were friends with them, went to visit, a friend helped my husband build a summer house, and my husband got him a good place to work. We even got our summer homes in the same place. Our kids were friends. Several times we stayed with him at the dachas with the kids at times when our halves went into town on business or to work. And then it seemed like a fairy tale to us. Here’s the real family – us and 4 kids (those were his words), which is the only time I ever heard him say it.
We never really talked seriously all those 27 years of our friendship. A year ago his wife died. He was left alone (the children work in another country). He doesn’t want to go to them, everyone is here, and friends like us. He comes to us often, he told my husband that he is jealous of him. But my husband understood it in his own way. But I keep thinking that he is just waiting for me to make a decision on my own, he doesn’t want to push me.
I don’t know what to do.
