**Diary Entry**
*Youre not my wifewe never went to the registry office, did we?*
“What kind of wife am I to you? Did we ever sign the papers? Exchange rings?”
Emily lowered her gaze. She had dreamed of all this, but years passed, and life carried on without formalities.
“No! No! And no!” James barked. “Youre nothing to me! What made you think you could call yourself my wife?”
“Jamie, talk to me, please,” she pleaded, reaching for his hand.
“Have you got anything *useful* to add?” He pulled away. “Youve already said too much!”
“I didnt even say anything” she mumbled.
“Mark my wordssilence is golden! Especially for you!” He turned pointedly toward the window.
“Stop sulking, love,” she moved closer.
“Shouldve kept your mouth shut!” James threw up his hands. “Where do you women learn to wreck everything in one sentence? Is there a class on how to drive men mad?”
Emily assumed he was still upset about their morning row. James had smashed two mugshis and hers.
“How could you?” shed fumed. “Most people have handsyours are like spades! Break your own, fine, but why touch mine? Making sure Ive nothing left to drink from?”
Just a silly domestic spat. The sort you brush off. But James had stormed out to work sulking and returned in icy silence, ignoring dinner despite her calling him three times. Time to make peace.
“Oh, come on, well buy new mugs at Harrods on Saturday! And your hands well, practice makes perfect!”
“What mugs?!” His eyes flashed. “Do you even grasp what youve done with your blabbering?”
“I-I can apologise” She faltered. “Dont be angry!”
“*Apologise*?” He let out a bitter laugh. “If sorry could erase your words, Id be over the moon! Instead, youve just finished me off!”
“God, what did I even *say*?” It finally struck herthis wasnt about crockery.
“Who told my *boss* today that she was speaking to Jamess *wife*?” His voice shook with rage.
“You were in the shower, the phone rang” She babbled. “I answered, said to wait. She asked who I was. So, I said I was your wife. By the time I handed you the phone, shed hung up. Whats the crime?”
“Youre seriously asking?!” His face turned crimson, a vein throbbing. “What wife? Did we sign anything? Exchange rings?”
Emily swallowed. Shed dreamed of it, but
“No! No! And no!” he roared. “Youre nobody! What gave you the right to call yourself my wife?”
***
“How longs this farce going on?” Margaret smirked.
“Mum” Emily frowned. “Times have changed. Youre one to judgeafter Dad, youve had your share of flings!”
“Dont lie about your mother!” She kept smiling. “At my age, gossip doesnt stick. But youre youngthink ahead!”
“Mum, fifty-five isnt ancient! You could still remarry!”
“If a decent man comes alongwhy not?” She smoothed her silver strands. “Till then, I make do with substitutes.”
“Youre impossible!” Emily snorted.
Then Margaret turned serious.
“Love, I get itpeople live together, have kids now. But legally, its cohabitation. No guarantees.”
“If theres love, guarantees dont matter.”
“Love fadesemptiness stays. A proper husband means alimony, a share in assets. Without it? Not even court can help you.”
“James and I are fine! Six years together. Why bother with paper?”
“Not good enough.” She wagged a finger. “Hint at it! Call him hubby, joke about weddings. Ease him into it.”
“What if I scare him off?” Emily shook her head. “Happiness is fragiledont push luck.”
“Your life.” Margaret sighed. “But rememberresponsibility marks adulthood. What youve got is just chaos.”
***
Her mothers warnings lingered. Marriage was a womans safety net. Even her friend Charlotte agreed:
“Imagine you take a mortgage. Its in *Jamess* name. What if you split?”
“Pessimist!”
“Say he gifts the flat to his nephew. Youve no say! Courts a waste without papers.”
“Ill keep receipts, find witnesses!”
“Or” Charlotte grinned slyly, “*just* marry him.”
“Mum said to tease him with hubby. Ease him into it.”
“So *do* it!”
***
Emily began calling James “husband” at every chance. At first, he chuckled, but slowly, he accepted it. She even believed the gameuntil she told his boss that fatal line: *”This is his wife.”*
***
“Weve been together six years!” Her voice trembled. “I thought we were family. Kids, growing old together”
“You shouldve *shut up*!” He paced wildly. “Why involve Sarah Thompson? Now Im sacked!”
“But I always call you my husband!”
“The difference isyouve ruined my career!” He slammed his keys down. “I wont just skip the registryIm *leaving*! Packing now!”
“Youre serious?” She froze. “So I called myself your wife”
“Sarah kept me on because of *personal* interest. Now Im married? Youre a thorn in her side!”
***
A week later, Sarah herself rang the doorbell.
“Sorry to intrude,” she said, “but I wanted to explain. Not about the sackingyour years of deceit. We all thought he was single”
“We never signed anything,” Emily whispered.
“Live-in girlfriend,” Sarah corrected. “But youre free now. And you know” Her lips curved. “Hes not for you. Not a husband, not even a partnerjust a prat.”
Emily nodded. There was nothing left to say.
