“You’re nothing to me, and I don’t have to listen to you!” my stepdaughter snapped at me again.
Five years ago, I, Emily, married James, and ever since, life in our little town near Manchester has been a constant struggle to keep the peace. James has a 14-year-old daughter, Lily, from his first marriage. He sees her often and helps out financially, which I’ve never objected to—in fact, his ex-wife, Charlotte, and I get on well, almost like friends. But Lily, with all her teenage defiance, has become a real challenge for me, and hearing her say “you’re nothing to me” cuts like a knife every time.
Charlotte’s a sensible woman. If she wants Lily to stay with us, she always calls ahead to check if it’s convenient. Sometimes we just chat on the phone like mates. She doesn’t hold a grudge against James—after the divorce, he let her keep the flat they’d bought together, and his share went to Lily. James, our two-year-old son Oliver, and I live in my two-bed flat. James supports us, and I’m on maternity leave, looking after the little one. But ever since Lily started staying over, chaos followed, and I’ve had enough.
Lately, Lily’s been acting out. Charlotte remarried, and her new husband, Daniel, moved in. At first, Lily was thrilled, but soon she started rebelling. When Daniel asked her to clean up after herself, she’d snap, “You’re not my dad—don’t tell me what to do!” Even though Daniel tried bonding with her, buying gifts, being patient, she pushed him away. She became impossible—leaving dishes everywhere, never taking the bins out, sneering at every request. In one row, she yelled at Daniel, “This is Mum’s flat—you don’t belong here!” James was furious when he found out—they rent out his old place, and that money helps support Charlotte’s family. Charlotte scolded Lily, who then called her dad in tears, begging to come stay with us.
I didn’t refuse. Oliver sleeps in our room, and we’ve got a sofa bed in the lounge for visits. I rang Charlotte to make sure she was alright with it. She agreed but warned, “If Lily steps out of line, call me straight away.” Lily arrived sulking but quickly made herself at home, doing whatever she pleased. She ignored me, scowled at every reminder. Left her plates for me to wash, never made her bed, scattered her stuff everywhere, while she spent hours gossiping with her mates on the phone. I could feel my temper rising but bit my tongue for James’ sake.
Finally, I cracked and asked my husband to talk to her. “She doesn’t take me seriously,” I said. James tried, but Lily just brushed him off. When I asked her again to clear the table, she spat, “You’re nothing to me, and I don’t have to listen to you!” My chest ached with hurt. I fought back tears and snapped, “I’m your dad’s wife, and this is my home. You’re only here because I allow it. Don’t you dare speak to me like that!” Lily stormed out, slamming the door behind her. Nothing changed—she kept acting like I was invisible.
I talked it over with James and called Charlotte. “I thought she’d at least listen to her dad,” Charlotte sighed. “Bring her back. You’ve got enough on your plate with Oliver.” James told Lily he was taking her home. She packed in silence, then rang her gran, moaning about being “kicked out everywhere.” But her grandma, Margaret, didn’t take her side. Turns out, Lily hoped Margaret would take her in, but she’s got a new bloke now and isn’t up for dealing with a moody teen. Now Lily’s grounded—chores on a strict schedule.
Charlotte gets it, and we’re on the same page. But Margaret just stirs the pot. “Poor Lily! Everyone’s abandoned her! Her dad’s got a new wife, her mum’s got a husband, no one cares about that poor girl!” she wailed. I bit back, “Oh, especially her gran, who’s too busy with her love life to bother.” Margaret hung up, but I don’t care. The main thing is, James and Charlotte back me. Lily even called yesterday, apologised, promised to do better. But the sting of her words won’t fade. I tried to be a mum to her, treated her like my own, and she keeps pushing me away. My heart’s breaking—I just want peace at home, but I don’t know how to get through to Lily. If she throws “you’re nothing to me” in my face again, I’m not sure I’ll hold back.
