You are not alone, darling…
“Johnson, should I bring the baby in for feeding?” The nurse asked.
“No, I’ve already said. I’m going to write a refusal.” The nurse shook her head and left. Zoe turned towards the wall and began to cry. The mothers in the ward glanced at each other and continued to feed their little ones.
Zoe had arrived in the middle of the night with contractions and delivered quickly. A boy, weighing 7 pounds 11 ounces. Healthy, beautiful. But upon looking at him, the new mother cried, not from joy.
“Everything’s fine, why are you crying? He’s a good lad, a sturdy one. Were you hoping for a daughter? Don’t worry, you can try for a daughter later.”
“I’m going to leave him. I’m not taking him with me…”
“Well, that’s a surprise. What’s the reason? Don’t be silly, girl. Take your time to think. He’s your baby, aren’t you sad?”
Daisy, Zoe’s roommate, was sitting on a bench in the visitors’ corridor with her husband. She was recounting how amusing their daughter was with her little fidgety nose, and they were laughing together. A woman walked in with a bag and asked for Zoe.
Daisy went to the ward and brought Zoe back.
“Darling, how are you? How’s your son? Got a name for him?”
“He doesn’t have a name… Let his future parents decide what to call him. I’m leaving him, Mum… We’re alone in this whole wide world, nobody needs us…”
Zoe covered her face with her hands and shook with sobs. Daisy felt awkward witnessing such a scene, quickly said goodbye to her husband, and left.
“You’re not alone, darling, you’ve got me. Jack is a scoundrel, what can I say. His mistress told him the child wasn’t his, claimed you had an affair, so he got furious. He’ll come to his senses and return. Anyway, I brought you a treat, eat up so you can have rich milk. Name your son Johnny.”
Zoe went back to the ward and stuffed the bag in the cabinet. A baby’s cry echoed loudly from the corridor. Zoe went out.
“Is that my baby crying?”
“Yes, it’s him.”
“Alright, I’ll feed him…”
The nurse quickly brought the baby, who was screaming his lungs out, his face red with exertion.
“Don’t cry like that. Mum’s here to feed you now.”
Awkwardly, Zoe tried to get the crying baby to latch on. Daisy came over to help her. The baby calmed down, and the feeding began. Zoe’s face spread into a smile; he was so cute, this little munchkin, grunting and striving.
Now, every feed, little Johnny was brought to his mum. Zoe loved examining his button nose and furrowed brow.
“Zoe, was that your mum who visited you? Seemed like such a nice lady.”
“No, that was my mother-in-law. My mum passed when I was young, Dad took to drink, and my aunt raised me. Then I married and moved into my husband’s house. We were happy until he found another woman. He left, doesn’t want to know me. I was all over the place when the contractions started.”
“Where will you go with the baby now?”
“My mother-in-law wants me to stay with her. She’s alone, her husband’s passed, only son ran off… She’s a wonderful, kind woman, she’s always treated me well.”
“Then go live with her, she’ll help with the grandson, a real support. Your husband will come to his senses and come back…”
That’s exactly what Zoe did. Ann helped with everything, doted on her grandson.
When Johnny was a month old, his father showed up. Zoe wasn’t home, she’d gone to the shop.
“Mum, I’m leaving for the north with Katie. Got a job offer there. Came by to say goodbye and, well, ask for some money, whatever you can spare…”
“Spare you? You left your wife in the lurch, she almost left the baby at the hospital out of sorrow. Oh, for shame… If your dad were here, he’d give you a thrashing for these antics. No, I won’t give you money. I’ve got a grandson growing up, he needs it more. You go earn some.”
Johnny cried out, and Ann rushed to the crib.
“What, you won’t even look at your son? He’s the spitting image of you.”
“He’s not my son… Zoe waltzed off and had him, why do I need someone else’s child.”
“You’re a fool, Jack. Go live without a brain.”
Ann eventually retired, and Zoe took over her work. Johnny went to nursery, and they lived cheerfully and harmoniously as three.
“Annie, why doesn’t your daughter-in-law think of leaving? It’s unheard of for a mother-in-law to live with her daughter-in-law while the son’s gone.”
“I treasure Zoe more than a foolish son, and my grandson is my joy. I live for them, Vicky. And you should keep your nosy tongue to yourself.”
Neighbor Vicky shook her head and went about her business. She couldn’t fathom Ann’s behavior; for her, her son was always priority. An alcoholic, sure, but it was his lot in life.
Ann noticed Zoe started dressing up more, going out in the evenings.
“Zoe, what’s his name?”
“Who, Mum?”
“The one you’re seeing… Tell me, darling, I’m curious.”
“Oh, we’re just friends… He’s a soldier, came to visit relatives, we met by chance.”
“And does he know about Johnny?”
“Of course, he does…”
“Well, bring him over to meet me, no point hiding him from me. If he’s a good man, then so be it…”
Alex, Zoe’s friend, came over with a basket of berries and a pie baked by his aunt. He gifted Johnny a toy car and a football.
The evening was enjoyable, with Alex sharing funny stories from his life. Zoe laughed heartily, and Ann laughed until she cried.
After seeing off the guest, Zoe immediately inquired:
“So, what do you think of him? A good man, do you reckon, Mum?”
“A good man, darling… Respectful, interesting, well-mannered. And most importantly, he loves you. A worthy suitor, don’t miss your chance at happiness!”
A month later, Alex asked Ann for Zoe’s hand in marriage.
“Rest assured, I will never hurt Zoe or little Johnny. We’ll live in Yorkshire, I have a big house there. We love each other, and Johnny is like a son to me. Please give us your blessing.”
Ann saw off Zoe, Alex, and Johnny. They moved to the city, promised to write and visit… How she would miss them now, all alone…
A year later, her son, Jack, showed up. Dirty, unkempt.
“Goodness, what state are you in, Jack? Why doesn’t Katie do your laundry?”
“Ah… There is no more Katie. Ran off with a rich man… We drank away everything, nothing left… I remembered I had a mother and a home…”
“Timely, you remembered, after so many years of not knowing if I was alive or dead…”
“And Katie admitted she lied to take me away from the family, and I believed her… So I’ll be getting to know my son… Where is he, by the way?”
“You lost your chance. Zoe married a decent man and is happy. They’ve listed Johnny under his name, so you no longer have a son. I’m packing and heading to live with them. Zoe had a daughter, and I want to help, and spoil my granddaughter. So, you stay here and mind the house, got it?”
Ann traveled by train, contemplating how life has its twists. What joy it is to be needed, to have people to help and support, just as she once supported Zoe. If she hadn’t helped then, who knows how things might have turned out for them all…
