You lack any sense of responsibility.Dont you realize how difficult things are for Daniel? Hes your brotheryou could have helped him.You always think only of yourself.
Recently my mother called and told me to collect all my belongings from her flat.
We can barely move around here because of your stuff, she said.
This exchange occurred after I refused to give my brother Daniel money for the downpayment on a flat.Id rather give it than lend it, because I know he would never repay me.
When I said no, Daniel stormed out of my apartment, enraged. He assumed I would hand over all my savings simply because he has a family and children, while I dont.
I need to discuss this because I feel my relatives are being unjust, especially right before the holidays.
When I moved to London for my studies, I immediately took a parttime job.
At first I lived in a dorm, then I rented a place with a friend. I didnt want to rely on my parents, so I worked hard not only to support myself but also to help my mom.
She never asked for cash directly, but she constantly requested useful itemsclothes, shoes, household goods.
For groceries I always came home with bags full of food.
My mother lives in a threebedroom flat with Daniel. Our father died three years ago.
My brother never cared about education. After school he went to work in Ireland, and the only thing he managed to buy there was an old car. When he returned he became a taxi driver.
Later he married and brought his wife Emily to live in our mothers flat.
They were always short on cash because Daniel lived paycheck to paycheck. As soon as he and Emily got paid, they spent almost everything right away.
Both my mom and Emilys parents regularly gave them financial assistance. Daniel knew there was always someone ready to help, so he never tried to increase his earnings or improve his finances.
Now Daniel and Emily have two children, with a third on the way.
They decided the flat was too small and began looking into buying their own place.
Meanwhile I share a rented apartment with my boyfriend Ryan. We plan to marry but have decided to wait for a better moment. Our incomes are steadyRyan is a software developer and I run several online stores.
We avoid unnecessary expenses; instead were saving for our own house so that after the wedding well have a place of our own.
My mother knew about our plans, yet she still hinted to Daniel that he could ask me for help.
They want to buy a flat but have no downpayment, my mom told me.
When Daniel approached me bluntly demanding the money, I refused.
He exploded, believing I owed him because he has a family and I dont.
Later my mother called again and said:
You have no conscience. Cant you see how hard it is for Daniel? Hes your brother, you could have helped him. You always think only about yourself.
She added:
Come collect your things from our flat. We cant move around with all your junk. And dont even think about coming for Christmas. Daniel is angry with you, and I dont really want to see you either.
I didnt argue. Ill gather my stuff and store it in my rented place, and when Ryan and I purchase our own home Ill move it there.
I could have lent my brother the money, but I know he would never pay it back. He never even asked for a loanhe simply expected me to hand over my savings because he has kids.
How would you deal with a situation like this?
