When a wedding took place in our family, it was always a time of immense excitement for everyone. The thought of marriage filled all our hearts with both anticipation and joy.
Yet, for some reason, people seem only to look at things from one angle, forgetting that, much like a coin, everything has two sides.
I do not believe that marriage is a dreadful affair. However, many women still imagine that happiness is found only in marriage and raising a family. So often, young girls dont fully grasp what marriage truly holds.
For most, the main ambition was simply to be wed; after that, everything, they believed, would fall into place.
Let me share something from my own memories. I once thought that if I could marry the man I loved and bear his child, I would be the happiest woman alive.
Sadly, marriage brought an array of troubles I hadnt foreseen. We hadnt even begun to save for a home when I discovered I was expecting. These days, welcoming a child into the world can be frightfully expensive.
We were over the moon when I learned I was pregnant. My husband ran his own little business while I stayed home on maternity leave, often plagued by our unsteady finances. We couldnt even consider setting money aside for a house. Motherhood itself, too, weighed heavily on me. Our son was restless, always poorlyit seemed as if he was forever catching something or other. I scarcely slept, and my nerves gradually frayed until I could barely hold myself together. More than once, I wondered whether I should simply run away. As it turns out, not every woman is destined to be the anchor of the family.
I wish I had understood this earlier. My son was just two when my husbands business collapsed completely. He fell into a deep despair. And where there is hopelessness, a glass or two of whisky is never far behind. I had no choice but to step up. I enrolled our child in nursery and found myself two jobs to make ends meet, while my husband slept off his nights in an alcoholic stupor. Life bore down on me with such relentless weight that I sometimes wanted to scream. If Id been alone, I could have managed the money, the exhaustion, and even my fraying wits.
One day, I went to my mother-in-law and begged her to speak with her son, hoping she might help him recover his sense. It isnt thought manly, after all, to give up and neglect providing for ones family. At the same time, I opened my heart to her, admitting how much I was struggling, that I was at the end of my tether.
I hoped for a kind word, for understanding. Yet, all she offered was this: You must understand, youre not the only one to face difficulties. But youre a woman, and you must endure, for it isnt seemly for a woman to show weakness.
A woman is the glue that holds a family together, so when you feel like screaming, keep quiet, and if you wish to cry, turn your face away. Whatever your lot in life, accept it and press on. Dont complain!
Her words pierced me like a blade through my heart.
She, too, is a womanher own husband is a layaboutyet rather than supporting each other, she told me simply to close my eyes and bear it. But how much longer could I go on? Life is given to us only once, and we long to enjoy it, to move through it in peace and cheerfulness. Of course, there will be hurdles, but surely not like this. Truly, a woman is meant to be spirited and cherished.
