When theres a wedding in a family, the air is thick with excitementhappiness buzzes around the house, filling every corner with energy and laughter.
But for some reason, people always choose to see things from one perspective, as though life itself didnt have two sideslike a coin.
Dont get me wrong, I dont believe marriage is some dreadful ordeal. Its just that, even now, many women imagine happiness can only be found in marriage, in building a family. Far too often, young girls dont truly understand what marriage means or what it demands from you.
Their entire plan is simply to get marriedand then, surely, everything else will fall into place.
Let me share my own story. I used to believe that if I married the man I loved and we had a child together, Id be the happiest woman in the whole world.
But, sadly, marriage brought me far more worries than Id ever expected. We hadnt even started saving for a house when I found out I was pregnant. These days, having a child in England costs a small fortune.
We were thrilled with the news, of course. My husband ran his own business, while I was on maternity leave, riddled with constant financial anxiety. Saving for a house was completely out of the question. Motherhood itself was no walk in the park. Our son was restless and always ill, I barely slept at all, and my nerves were so frayed that sometimes I couldnt control myself. At my lowest, I even thought about running away. Not every woman is cut out to be the heart and soul of family life.
If only Id realised all this sooner. My son was just two when my husbands business collapsed. He sank into a deep despair. And, where theres despair, its not long before a bottle of whisky comes into play. With no other choice, I stepped up. I got Archie into nursery and found myself two full-time jobs. I slogged day and night just to keep us afloat, while my husband passed out drunk in bed. It was so crushing, so overwhelming at times, that I wanted to scream. If Id been alone, Id have handled the money, the exhaustion, even my own battered spirit, so much easier.
One day, I called my mother-in-law, desperate for help. I asked her to talk some sense into her son, to get him back on his feet. It didnt seem right, as a man, for him to give up on workand moneyaltogether. At the same time, I bared my soul to her. I confessed how hard everything felt, that I was cracking, barely holding myself together.
I expected kindness, gentle words, something supportive. Instead, my mother-in-law said this: You must realise, youre not the only one going through hard times. But youre a woman, and women are meant to endure, because weakness is unbecoming in a wife.
A woman is the glue that holds the family together, so keep quiet when you want to shout, and wipe away your tears before anyone sees. Whatever comes your way, accept it and get on with life. Dont complain!
Truly, her words stabbed straight through me.
Shes a woman herself, and I know shes suffered. Her husband has always been idle, yet instead of helping each other, she told me to just close my eyes and bear it all. But how much can one person take? We only get one life, and we all long for a bit of peace and happiness. Therell always be obstacles, but surely not like this. A womans fate should be to live freely, cherished and loved.
