— You Never Truly Loved Me. You Married Me Without Love, and Now You’ll Leave When I Fall Ill… — I Won’t Leave You! – said Marina, embracing Igor. – You’re the best husband! I’d never, ever leave you… He couldn’t believe it was true. Igor was feeling blue… Marina had been married for twenty-five years, and all that time men continued to find her attractive. Even in her youth, she was the most sought-after girl. And not just in her youth! At school, nearly every boy chased after Marina. Yet, she’d never been considered a beauty. She didn’t divorce her husband, complex character though he was. No, Marina stayed with Vadim right to the end. They raised their daughter, married her off. Her son-in-law whisked Daria off to Italy, now they sent back lovely photos and invites to visit. But Marina and Vadim had never made the trip… Maybe Marina would go someday. Vadim was gone for good. Marina’s husband died in a car accident. Such a senseless loss… Later, Marina was told he likely took ill behind the wheel. His heart faltered, he panicked, lost control. — Maybe he blacked out? – she wondered. — We’ll never know now. – sighed her friend, a doctor. – Cause of death: multiple injuries incompatible with life. Marina was in shock. Her friend Elena helped arrange everything. Elena got all the details through her professional contacts. Vadim was buried and Marina was left alone in the large house she and her husband had built their whole lives. Not too big for two, especially if guests dropped by; but for one person, for a woman – it seemed vast, almost a burden. A house needs a man’s touch… Daria came home to say goodbye to her father. She broached the idea of selling the house, buying a flat, maybe Marina moving to Italy with them. — Not a chance! – declared Marina. – I didn’t spend my life building this house just to sell it. And I’m not off to your Italy either. I’ve seen Italy… — Mum! — Naive girl, Daria! – Marina smiled through her tears. – Only joking. — Well, if you’re joking, maybe things aren’t so bad. It was all ambiguous, just as the late Vadim had been. On one hand, he was a caring, loving husband. On the other – a man of moods. When he was in a bad one, he could drive Marina up the wall. Then he’d repent, apologise, and Marina, an easy-going soul, wouldn’t dwell on it. And so they lived. Twenty-five years! Enough to drive you mad… Daria visited, then returned to her own busy life and marriage. Marina was alone. But, knowing herself, Marina realised this wouldn’t last. She mourned for half a year, then, when her tears dried, found a small crowd of suitors had already gathered about her. Even Marina’s own mother had once been surprised by her daughter’s ongoing popularity. — What do they see in you? They’re falling at your feet! You’re not even a beauty, unless I’m missing something. — You’re so kind, Mum. – Marina would smile, applying her lipstick. – Looks mean nothing, just empty noise. A woman should be charming, charismatic. Unique. — Off you go, enjoy yourself, – her mother would laugh. – Or your suitor will tire of waiting. — Another will come along, – Marina would shrug indifferently. Almost thirty years since that conversation, and nothing had changed. Women still complained that there were no eligible men left after forty, nobody worth marrying. Marina never understood that problem. At forty-six, she found herself with not just one, but two decent suitors. Her heart leaned toward Dmitri. He was her ideal man, handsome and intelligent, a wonderful conversationalist, great company – perfect for social occasions. But if truth be told, Dmitri excelled mostly at talking. Marina felt herself falling for him with her ears, but, given her age and experience, she knew he wasn’t the man for real life. Not for her big house. Her other suitor, Igor, was a solid, practical bloke. One who could drink his fill at a party, but always had hands that got things done and a spirit that endured. A real hands-on man with a gentle soul, but a strong backbone. To his wife, this sort of man would be quiet and gentle as a puppy – but move mountains for her, if needed. Somehow, Marina fancied Igor less – silly woman’s logic. He never gave her flowery speeches; sober, Igor was a man of few words. After a drink, he could tell a funny story, a joke, join any conversation. Igor could drink, true, but he was up and about the next day anyway, doused himself with cold water, active and focused – if quiet. Marina chose Igor. Dmitri, disgruntled that his eloquence failed, left. Marina married Igor, and he was over the moon. He drank a bit too much at the wedding, sang and danced until dawn. — You’ve done it again, – Elena smiled. – Barely a year since Vadim passed and you’re already re-married! Women can search high and low for a decent bloke, yet all you need is to step outside your door. — You’ll be telling me next, ‘What do they see in you? You’re not even a beauty!’ — Oh, I won’t go there. But you are unusually popular, that’s for sure. — I don’t know what they see in me, Elena. Ask my mum. Marina winked at her friend and waltzed onto the dance floor with her new husband. As they danced, she chased away her last doubts. So what if Igor was a bit simple? He was strong, capable, even good-looking – and if he was quiet, maybe that wasn’t so bad. If she’d chosen Dmitri, what then? You can’t live on honeyed words. Within a few months, Igor had transformed Marina’s garden into a fairy tale. He cleared away old trees, levelled the ground, built flowerbeds, erected a gazebo. His masculine touch was everywhere in the house. No doubt, Marina had picked the right husband. Igor even provided for the household and showered Marina with gifts. Comparing just this short stretch of marriage with her twenty-five years before, she honestly regretted not meeting Igor sooner. He was golden. In the warm months they’d barbecue and dine in the new gazebo, at the table and benches Igor had made by hand. Marina, full of grilled kebabs, would smile contentedly. Igor would look at her and smile too. — What is it, Igor? — Nothing. I’m just happy. His first wife had been a real bore; he’d never imagined he’d meet anyone as wonderful as Marina. Four years of wedded bliss, and then Igor began to feel… poorly. He grew tired easily, started losing weight for no clear reason. When he did have a drink – and Igor liked a tipple – he felt even worse. — Igor, you must see a doctor! – Marina insisted. – What are you waiting for? Something’s not right. — Nonsense, Marina. I’ll be fine! — What sort of caveman thinking is that? And if you’re not fine? Or are you, like so many men, scared of doctors? — No… Igor wouldn’t tell Marina what he was truly afraid of. He feared that if he was really ill, Marina would leave him. She didn’t marry him for love, after all – he knew that. But he loved her, for all that. He’d seen her in a shop one day, struggling to find her purse in her bag, and in that very moment he’d fallen for her. Something about her confusion just touched him deeply. He immediately wanted to step in and protect her forever, even though his own mother, upon first meeting Marina, had said, — Son, it’s your life, but what do you see in her? She’s not a beauty. She’s no spring chicken. You could have anyone, even a younger woman! But Igor needed no one other than Marina. Now, if he were truly ill, would Marina want Igor at all? She never succeeded in getting him to the doctor. It was a Saturday evening, and Elena and her husband Boris were visiting. Igor and Boris were out back, drinking beer and grilling. In the kitchen, where they were making salads, Elena said to Marina, — Has something happened to Igor? He doesn’t look well. — That’s just it! – Marina exclaimed. – I keep begging him to see a doctor, but he won’t! You’re a doctor. What do you think? Is something wrong? — Well… he looks worse nowadays. Lost weight. His skin looks a bit yellow, too. — Oh God! Elena, please make him see a doctor, I beg you. Maybe he’ll listen to you! Elena studied her friend’s face. — Marina… do you love him? I just remember you had doubts… Marina bit her lip and said nothing. Elena never got the chance. Igor collapsed during dinner. They called an ambulance. Marina rode with Igor to the hospital. He never regained consciousness. She held his hand and prayed. He went straight in for surgery. — Liver tumour. — Cancer?! – Marina panicked. — We’ll wait for the test results. The tumour was benign, but it had grown to significant size before Igor reached the operating table. Doctors forbade Igor nearly everything. They warned him recovery would be long, and he might not regain full health. He wasn’t exactly young, after all. Igor became despondent. His mother came to visit him in hospital, while Marina was at work. She brought him food that he was allowed – the list was short. — I hardly recognise you, son! – said Tatyana. – What’s this? You pulled through. No cancer. You should be glad, yet you look so down. Here, eat your steamed cutlets. — Don’t want to eat. — You must! What’s wrong? At least Marina visits, doesn’t she? — She does… for now. – Igor muttered. — What? You think she’ll leave you? Don’t be daft! — I’m finished! Useless! Not even allowed to work. I’m fifty in June and now an invalid. Who wants an invalid? — What’s all this, then? – Marina said, coming in. – You’re shouting down the whole ward. Good afternoon, Tatyana. — I’ll get going then. Hello, Marina. Take care. — What happened? Igor’s mother waved her off and left. Marina washed her hands and approached her miserable husband. — What’s all this grumpiness, ‘invalid’? Arms and legs all there. Not much wrong with you that won’t heal. Do you know what I read about the liver? — What? — Fun fact: the liver’s the only organ that regrows by itself. If you have fifty-one percent left, you’ll recover completely. And you have sixty percent remaining. Just give it time. Everything will mend! — And do I have that time? — What? – asked Marina, confused. — Time. — Igor, what’s going on? Haven’t they told me something? Did you ask the doctors to hide something? — That’s not it… Igor was sent home. Life’s hardest part began. Any physical work left Igor spent almost immediately. The thought of his upcoming milestone birthday only made him gloomier. Can’t eat, can’t drink. Some celebration! Marina seemed oblivious, cheerily sharing his bland health food. — Marina… – he finally spoke out. – What happens to us now? — What do you mean? – she asked. — This… My recovery is slow. Will you leave me? Best to say so now. — Why would I ever leave you? I love being with you. — But that was when I could work, fix things. What’s so good now? Even I don’t like myself like this. — Oh, nonsense. Get a grip! — I’m trying! But it’s tough. Hammer two nails and I’m dog-tired. Marina approached from behind, hugged him, pressed her cheek to his neck. — I love you. And I never, never will leave you. Take your time with your recovery. There’s no rush. — You love me? Truly? — With all my heart. Marina doesn’t leave Igor. He recovers, slowly but surely. For his birthday, Marina threw a party without any booze, so he wouldn’t feel left out. A few friends came; they played board games in the garden gazebo. — You struck gold, Igor, said his friends as they left. — You’ll probably go home and get drunk for me now, won’t you? – Igor quipped. Everyone laughed and went their way. In the evening, Marina and Igor sat on the porch, gazing at the stars. Happy. For the first time in many months, Igor felt better. He believed he would heal. And that his wife truly wouldn’t leave him. He held Marina tighter. — What is it, Igor? — Everything’s perfect! – he replied. — At last, – Marina chuckled, kissing him on the cheek. They were happy. 💬 Friends, if you’d like to read more of our stories – leave your comments and don’t forget to like. Your support inspires us to keep writing!

You never really loved me. You only married me without love. And now that Im illyoull leave me, wont you

I wont! said Alice, wrapping her arms around Robert. Youre the best husband in the world. Theres no way Id ever leave you

He found it difficult to believe her wordshis mood, too, was bleak, the room slightly swimming, as if underwater.

Alice had been married for twenty-five years and, throughout those years, had always drawn glances from men. Even in her young days she was the most sought-after girl around.

Not just in youth, though; at school, too, all the boys seemed to chase after Alice. Not that she was a classical beauty, but still.

She never divorced her husband, although he was always a rather ambiguous charactera puzzle, really.

No, Alice stayed with her husband Gary to the very end. Together they raised their daughter, married her off. The young man carried Emily away to Spain, and now they sent lovely pictures back and invited them over. Yet, Alice and Gary never quite got around to visiting Perhaps Alice would still go one day. But as for Gary, his story was quite finished.

Garys death was a senseless folly, almost comical in its absurditya car crash. Though later, they told Alice that most likely hed taken ill at the wheel. Got confused, lost control, his heart perhaps giving out.

Maybe he lost consciousness? shed wondered blandly.

Well never really know, sighed her friend Helen, who was a doctor. Officially: multiple injuries. Incompatible with life.

Alice was staggeredher mind a wash of pale colours and incomprehensible shapes. It was Helen who organized everything and learned the details through her own mysterious channels. Gary was buried, and Alice was leftalone in a house that felt as empty and reverberant as a hollow shell, built together over a lifetime.

Not enormous for a couple, or even when friends came to stay, but for one woman? The place was cavernous, weighed down by echoes. A house needs a man, she always thought

Emily returned for the funeral. She tried to broach the idea of selling the house, buying a flat, or perhaps Alice moving to Spain.

No chance! Alice exclaimed, almost hissing. I didnt spend all those years building this home just to sell it. And your SpainIve seen it all before.

Mum!

Oh, lighten up, Emily! Alice half-smiled, tears glistening. Im only teasing.

Well, if youre joking, maybe its not so awful after all

Everything, truly, was double-edgedjust like Gary always had been. On the one hand, caring and loving. On the other, mercurial, sometimes wringing every last nerve from Alice with his moods. Hed always repent afterwards, and Alice would forgive with seemingly boundless ease; she never dwelled on such moments. Thats just how it was. Twenty-five years! Enough to make anyone dizzy.

Emilys visit was shorther husband busy, longing for homes warmth. Alice remained alone again.

Though knowing herself, Alice was certain even solitude would be temporaryand so it proved to be. She grieved for half a year, then, brushing off her sorrows, discovered a small squadron of admirers gathering nearby.

Her own mother had always been surprised by how much men wanted Alice.

What do they see in you? They just tumble over each other! Youre not what Id call a beauty or am I missing something?

Oh, youre kind, Mum. Alice would smile, dabbing her lips with a speck of lipstick. Looks mean nothing. Its all empty vanity! A woman must be charming, charismatic, a touch of mystery.

Off you go, girl, cackled her mother. Or your suitor will get bored and wander off.

Another will come, Alice shrugged blithely.

Now, nearly thirty years since that talk with her mother, nothing seemed to have changed. Women would moan about a lack of available menthat past forty, theres no one to marry. Alice didnt see things that way. At forty-six, she had not one but two suitorsand both of them decent.

Her heart inclined toward Matthew. She liked himoutwardly, yes, but also in conversation. Smart, sophisticated, never a dull moment, never an awkward silence. She could sweep into society on his arm with pride.

But Matthew was, fundamentally, a master of talking. Alice, with all her years and sense, knew he wasnt one for real lifenot for her large old house.

The other, Robert, was more of a sturdy, grounded sort. The type whod down an ocean of lager at a party but could put his hand to anythingfix, light, build. He was a proper bloke: strong hands, mild manner, but solid. With the right woman, hed be gentle as a lamb, but if needed, hed move mountains. Oddly, Alice liked Robert a little lessfeminine logic, she thought wryly.

He never told her sweet speeches. Sober, Robert was quiet. If he drank, hed loosen up, tell funny stories and jokes, liven up the evening. He could down more than most, too, but was always up again the next morningcold shower, sleeves rolled, on with the day. Reserved, but reliable. Alice chose him.

Matthew, wounded that his eloquence came to nothing, walked away.

And so Alice married Robert, who was giddy with joy. At the wedding, he drank too much, sang and danced until he dropped.

My goodness, Helen grinned. Barely a year since Gary passed, and youve remarried already. Some women cant rustle up a bloke even at midday with a torch, and you just need to step outside your door!

Youll be asking what they all see in me next, wont you? Im hardly a beauty!

No need to ask. But, honestly, your popularity was always a bit of a mystery.

I dont know what draws them! Alice winked, laughing. Go ask my mother.

She swept Helen up for a danceRobert was already waving to her. She caught herself, in motion, sending her last doubts scuttling away. So what if Robert was a bit of a simpleton? He was strong, handy, looked rather well for his age. And so what if he didnt talk much? Maybe that was a blessing.

If shed chosen Matthew, then what? You cant make soup from fine words alone.

Within months, Robert had turned Alices garden into something out of a fairytaleuprooting unnecessary trees, levelling earth, planting flowerbeds, building a pergola. The mark of a strong hand was everywhere.

She had chosen wiselyvery wisely.

And Robert made a tidy living, too. He was always trying to brighten Alices days with some surprise.

She would sometimes compare this short second marriage to her twenty-five years with Gary, and sincerely regret not meeting Robert sooner. He was goldabsolute gold.

In summer, theyd barbecue in the evenings, dining under the pergola at a beautiful wooden table Robert had made. Alice, blissfully full, would squint like a contented tabby. Robert, watching her, would beam.

Whats up, Robert?

Nothingjust glad.

His first wife had been such a bore. Hed never expected to meet a woman like this.

Their happiness lasted four yearsthen something shifted. Robert began to tire easily, shed weight for no reason. And after a few drinkshe enjoyed a pint or two now and thenhe felt quite ill.

Robert, you need to see a doctor! Alice fretted. Somethings wrong, cant you see? What are you waiting for?

Oh, Alice, really? Nonsense! Itll clear up by itself.

What is this, the Middle Ages? What if it doesnt? Or are you, like most men, terrified of the doctor?

No, not that.

He just couldnt bear to tell Alice his fear. He was afraid that if he really was ill, shed leave him. Who wants to care for a sick husband?

Robert wasnt daft; he knew Alice had married him for practical reasons, not because she was in love. But, oh, he loved heragainst all odds.

He still remembered meeting her in the grocersan absent-minded woman searching for her purse, and hed fallen at once. Her muddle was endearinghed wanted to pick her up and guard her forever. Even his mother, on seeing Alice, had said quizzically:

Its your life, son. But what do you see in her? Not pretty, not young, and youre still quite a catch. Any number of women would snap you up!

But he needed no one but Alice. And now, if he really was so ill, would she want him?

She couldnt persuade him to see a doctor. One Saturday, Helen and her husband Tom came round. Robert and Tom grilled kebabs in the garden, drank some ale. In the kitchen, chopping salad, Helen whispered to Alice:

Is Robert ill?

I dont know! Alice nearly spat. Ive begged him to see someone. He wont budge! Arent you a doctor? What do you think? He looks so out of sorts, doesnt he?

He does Thinner. And is it me, or has his skin gone a shade sallow?

Oh, God! Please, Helenmake him go to the doctor! Maybe hell listen to you

Helen gazed at Alice, searchingly.

Alice do you love him? I remember you hesitated

Alice bit her lip, not answering.

But Helen never managed to persuade Robertthat night, he fainted at the table. They called the ambulance. Alice rode with him to the hospital. He stayed unconscious in her grip, as she held his hand and prayed.

He was operated on almost as soon as they arrived.

A mass in the liver.

Cancer?! Alice asked, panic blooming.

We have to wait for the results.

Fortunately, it was benign, though already quite large.

Doctors forbade Robert nearly everything, warning recovery would be slow and uncertainafter all, he wasnt exactly young.

Robert sank deeper into gloom in hospital. His mother, Mrs. Thompson, visited with little parcels of food he was allowedhis permitted menu pitifully short.

“Son, youre barely yourself!” she exclaimed. You survivedtheres no cancer. You should be celebrating! Eat up this steamed chicken.

Dont want it.

But you must! Is Alice even visiting?

She comes for now, Robert answered bleakly.

What? Afraid shell leave you? Then shed be a fool!

Im done for! Cant do anything, cant work. Fifty this June, and Im an invalid. Who needs an invalid?

Whats all this racket? Alice called as she entered. Youre shouting the ward down. Good afternoon, Mrs. Thompson!

Ill be off, I think. Hello, Alice. Goodbye now.

What happened? Alice asked.

His mother waved and left. Alice washed her hands and sat by Roberts bed.

“Whats all this, you invalid? Arms and legs are still there, arent they? Rest will recover. Dyou know what Ive read about the liver?”

What?

Its the only organ that regenerates itself. If youve got fifty-one percent left, itll regrow. And you, my love, have sixty percent. Give your liver some time! Itll all come right.

Will I have enough time?

What? Alice looked confused.

Time, Alice.

What are you talking about? Did the doctors tell you something? Are you hiding something from me?

No, nothing like that

Robert was sent homeand for him, lifes low tide truly set in. Anything more than a little exertion exhausted him, which upset him most of all.

His milestone birthday loomed, filling him only with dread. No decent food, no decent drinkmagnificent.

Alice seemed not to notice his flagging strength, chirruping along with him over bland food in solidarity.

Alice, he finally ventured. Whats going to happen to us now?

What do you mean?

Well Im getting better so slowly. Youll leave me, wont you? Better to say so now.

And why on earth would I do that? Im happier with you than ever.

That was when I could do everything and work. Whats good about this? Even I dont like myself now.

Well, you must sort yourself out, then!

Im trying! But its so frustratingeven five minutes with a hammer and Im knackered.

Alice snuggled up behind him, pressing her cheek to his.

I love you, and I will never leave. Recover in your own time. Let things go as they will.

You love me? Honestly?

Honestly.

Alice did not abandon Robert. He mended, bit by bit.

For his birthday, Alice arranged a partywith no strong drink, so he wouldnt feel left out.

A few friends dropped by, they sat under the pergola, played board games.

Lucky you, mate, his friends said as they left.

Off to have a drink for my health now, are you? Robert teased.

They laughed, drifted home. That evening, Alice and Robert sat on the porch, leaning into the shifting blue of the stars, dreamy, content. For the first time in months Robert felt truly well.

He believed, again, that he would come through this, and that Alice meant what she said. He pulled her closer.

What is it, Robert?

Alls right with the world.

Finally! Alice murmured, and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Happiness wrapped them in a hush, gentle and improbable as dreams.