You just dont realise what happiness is
Fifty thousand pounds? Nicola stared at her phone, reading the notification three times before it sank in. You took out a loan for fifty thousand pounds?
James sat on the sofa, scrolling through his own smartphone, not even looking up.
Oh, that Yeah, its nothing really, just for Mums house. You know her pipes are leaking, the wooden floors have buckled, the wallpapers peeling from damp
Wait. Nicola sank onto the edge of the armchair; her knees simply wouldnt hold her. You took out a loan. Fifty thousand pounds. And gave it all to your mother. Without saying a word to me?
James finally looked up from his phone, his expression genuinely puzzled, as though she were asking about something perfectly mundane.
Nic, its just Mum. She lives alone, her pensions hardly enough. Who else is going to help her?
And you didnt think to talk to me about it? Nicola started to raise her voice, but couldnt stop. To ask my opinion? To warn me even?
Youd have started an argument, James shrugged. But she needed it right away.
Four years. Four years shed endured this woman, ringing every evening to ask what James had eaten for dinner. Turning up unannounced to judge the cleanliness of their flat. At every family meal, seating Nicola as far from everyone else as possible.
Dont make a mountain out of a molehill, James replied in a calm, familiar tone. Well manage. Well pay it back quickly; its not that much. Shes family.
Tears stung Nicolas eyeshot, furious. She brushed them away with the back of her hand, smudging mascara down her cheek.
Family? Am I not family? Or am I just an afterthought? Remember how your mother decided it was time we changed our car, so you sold it without asking me? How she threw my things out of the spare room because she couldnt bear sleeping with someone elses clutter? On my birthday, you and she went shopping for her a new fridge and left me behind?
Thats all trivial, said James, waving it off. Youre just exhausted, you need a break.
Nicola gazed at hima tall man, with soft features and those dimples on his cheeks shed once thought endearing. Now she saw only a grown-up child, unable to cut the cord.
Well get through this, he said again, like a mantra. Love conquers all.
Nicola stood silently and went to the bedroom. Two large sports bags sat on top of the wardrobethe same ones shed brought when she first moved in. She pulled them down, threw them on the bed, and began opening the wardrobe door.
James appeared in the doorway twenty minutes later, just as the first bag was already stuffed full.
What are you doing, Nicola? This is silly. You cant be serious!
She didnt answer. Carefully she packed jumpers, jeans, underwear. Pulled down the box of jewellerygifts from her parents and friends, leaving anything from James behind.
Where will you go? To your mums? Shes in Edinburgh!
She zipped up the second bag, checked her handbagpassport, bank card, keys to her mothers flat shed kept just in case.
Nicola, at least say something! You cant leave me. I love you!
She looked at him for a long moment, then picked up the bags and left the flat.
Next morning, Nicola stood in line at the council office clutching a completed divorce application. Rain drizzled steadily outside; grey clouds hung low over the rooftops, but she felt a strange calm spreading inside her. The decision was made.
The first call came at half past two in the morning. Nicola shot up from the sofa at her friend Lucys flat, confused about where she was.
We need to talk, James breathed into the phone, rambling. I get it now, Ill change. Give me a chance.
She hung up. Twenty minutes later, her phone rang again.
Nicola, I cant live without you. Youre everything to me.
By morning, there were forty-three messages. Each was longfull of tearful confessions, promises, threats.
If you dont come back, I dont know what Ill do.
Mum says youre just being stubborn.
Ill wait for you forever.
A week later, he started showing up at her office. Nicola would step out for lunch only to see him lurking by the corner sandwich shop. Leaving work, she spotted him across the road by the tube station.
Just passing by, James would grin when Nicola demanded an explanation. Just wanted to see you.
One evening there was a knock at Lucys flat door. Nicola didnt check the peepholeshe was expecting a pizza delivery.
James was standing there, clutching a bouquet of red roses.
One chance, he whispered. Thats all Im asking.
Nicola quietly closed the door. He stood outside for nearly two hours, until the neighbours threatened to call the police.
She learned to live with itlike learning to live with a chronic ache. Not reading messages, not answering calls from unknown numbers, not looking back in the street. She switched to a remote job for a new company, moved to a quiet suburb where James could never turn up by accident.
The divorce papers went through three months later. Nicola walked out of the courthouse holding the official document, crying on the stepsnot out of sorrow, but relief.
The first months of freedom were daunting in their emptiness. Nicola was used to checking every decision with someone, even if that someone ignored her. Now she could buy any yogurt in the shop without wondering whether Emily Carter would approve. Watch any film without being told, Proper women dont watch that sort of thing. She could breathe.
She signed up for English classesa long-held dream, dismissed by James as a complete waste of money. She started yoga classes every morning, before sunrise, as the city began to wake. She took a trip to Brighton over a long weekend; no plan, just wandering the pier and trying every kind of fudge.
After half a year, the calls stopped. The messages stopped, too. Nicola braced herself, waiting for something, each month, until she realised she could finally relax. She landed a job at a marketing agencybright office, young team, interesting projects. Life began to take shape.
She met Andrew at a work party, dragged along by her colleague Kate.
This is our lead programmer, Kate introduced, nodding to a tall guy with slim glasses. Andrew, meet Nicola from marketing.
He shook her handfirm, but gentle. Smiled simply, not trying to impress.
So you skipped out on the karaoke as well? he asked, glancing at the stage where the finance director was butchering Dont Stop Me Now.
Just trying to preserve whats left of my nerves, Nicola replied.
They talked all eveningabout books, travel, the oddities of life. Andrew listened more than he spoke. He asked questions and waited, never interrupting, never telling her how she should live. When he learned she was divorced, he only nodded and changed the subject.
Six months later, they moved in together, picking a small, bright flat in central London, with high ceilings and a view of a peaceful courtyard.
Are you sure you like this place? Nicola asked when they toured the flat before signing the lease. Should we look at a few more?
Do you like it? Andrew turned to her.
Yes. I really do.
Then lets take it.
These little thingsthe respect for her opinionturned out to matter more than any grand declarations of love.
He proposed on the rooftop, as the sun set and the sky turned golden-pink. He pulled out a small box, opened ita ring glinting inside.
Im not much for speeches, Andrew admitted. But I want to wake up next to you every single day. If you dont mind my snoring and my terrible taste in coffee.
Nicola laughed through tears and nodded
That May evening started off ordinary. Andrew was running latedeadline, urgent bug. Nicola was cooking pasta and singing along to the radio when there was a sharp, insistent knock on the door.
She checked the peepholeand recoiled.
James stood outside, pale, dark circles under his eyes, shirt creased. Two years. Two years of silenceand here he was.
Nicola, open up! His fist hammered on the door. I know youre in there! We need to talk!
Nicola grabbed her phone, dialled Andrews number. Engaged.
We love each other! James shouted from the corridor. You cant be with someone else! Its just not right!
The door rattledhe hurled himself against it, as though trying to break it down. Nicola pressed her back against the door, bracing herself with her feet.
Leave! Ill call the police!
Youre my wife! His voice rose to a shriek. You were mine and you will be! Two years I waited for you to see sense! Two years!
Were divorced! Its over!
Nothings over! He shoved the door again, and she barely held it shut. Ive changed! Mum says you dont realise how lucky you are! Just open the door and talk to me!
Through the peephole, she saw his facetwisted, fevered. Not the man shed once shared her life with.
Nicola pulled out her phone and dialled 999.
James! One call and the police will be here. Go. Now.
James froze. He was silent for several seconds. Then he turned abruptly and stormed off down the stairs. She heard the front door slam.
Nicola slid down the wall to the floor, ears ringing. It was half an hour before she had the strength to call Andrew.
The police accepted her statement the next day. The community officera kindly older man with a moustachetook all the details, listened, nodded.
Well sort it. Well have a word.
Whatever he said to James, Nicola never knew. But from then on, her ex-husband disappeared. No more calls, no more sightings outside her flat.
They held their wedding in early June, at a small country pubtwenty friends, just the closest mates. No fuss, no grooms relatives insisting on outdated traditions.
Nicola stood opposite Andrew in a simple white dress, holding his warm hands in hers. Outside, birch trees rustled, the air smelled of flowers and freshly cut grass.
Do you take the celebrant started.
I do, Nicola cut in, making everyone laugh.
Andrew slipped a slim gold band onto her finger, engraved inside with three words: Always with you.
Nicola looked up at the man who would be her husband. Not a mummys boy, not an obsessed pursuer. Just a man, who could listen, respect, and love. Ahead lay a life where her voice would always matter.
