“You’ve not a shred of decency. Can’t you see how much Thomas is struggling? He’s your own flesh and bloodyou might’ve helped him. Always putting yourself first, aren’t you?”
Not long ago, my mother rang me and demanded I clear out all my belongings from her flat.
“We can hardly take a step without tripping over your things,” she said.
This came after I refused to give my brother, Thomas, the money for a deposit on a house. And I do mean *give*, not lendI knew full well hed never repay a penny.
When I turned him down, Thomas stormed out of my flat in a rage. He was certain Id hand over every last pound of my savings, simply because he had a wife and children, while I didnt.
I need to speak plainly about this, for I feel my familys being unjustespecially now, with the holidays nearing.
When I left for London to study, I took up work straight away. First, I lived in halls, then shared a flat with a friend. Id no wish to rely on my parents, so I worked hardnot just to keep myself afloat, but to help Mum too.
She never outright asked for money, but she always had me bringing something useful: clothes, shoes, bits for the house. And as for food, I never arrived without bags full of groceries.
Mum lives in a three-bedroom flat with Thomas. Our father passed three years back.
Thomas never had much patience for schooling. After he finished, he went off to work in Scotland, but the only thing he managed to buy in all that time was a secondhand motor. When he came back, he took up driving a cab.
Later, he married and brought his wife, Beatrice, to live under Mums roof. Money was always tight for themThomas lived hand to mouth. The moment he and Beatrice got their wages, it was gone.
Both Mum and Beatrices parents often bailed them out. Thomas knew someone would always step in, so he never troubled himself to earn more or put his finances right.
Now, Thomas and Beatrice have two little ones, and a third on the way.
They decided Mums flat was too cramped and set their minds on buying a place of their own.
Meanwhile, I live in rented rooms with my sweetheart, Edward. We mean to marry, but were waiting for a better time. Our incomes steadyEdwards a software engineer, and I run a few online shops.
We dont fritter money away. Instead, were saving for our own home, so after the wedding, weve somewhere proper to live.
Mum knew our plans, yet she still nudged Thomas to ask me for help.
“They want a house, but theyve nothing for the deposit,” she told me.
When Thomas came to me and flat-out demanded the money, I refused.
He was livid. He thought I *owed* it to himall because he had a family, and I didnt.
Later, Mum rang me and said:
“You’ve not a shred of decency. Can’t you see how much Thomas is struggling? He’s your own flesh and bloodyou might’ve helped him. Always putting yourself first, aren’t you?”
Then she added:
“Come and fetch your things from our flat. Weve no room to move with all your clutter. And dont trouble yourself at Christmas. Thomas is in a temper with you, and Ive no great wish to see you either.”
I didnt argue. Ill gather my things and make space for them in my rented rooms. And when Edward and I have our own home, Ill move them there.
I *couldve* lent Thomas the money, but I know hed never pay it back. And he didnt even ask for a loanhe expected me to *hand over* my savings.
All because he has children
How would you manage a thing like this?
