I’ve been on parental leave for four years now. Since my children are quite close in age, motherhood is pretty much a full-time job. My husband juggles two jobs, and we own our own flat, so we manage well enough.
What have you managed to achieve by 25? At your age, you should have had a career, just like my daughter, my mother-in-law remarked once.
My sister-in-law had no intention of settling down early; she had her own ambitions. Her youth and looks were her biggest priorities. She saw no reason to waste her prime years raising children. But that was her path, while I made my choice five years ago. To be fair, her career wasnt going all that brilliantly, either. She always seemed envious, forever spreading rumours about those around her.
My sister-in-law certainly enjoyed herselftravelling, taking holidays, living quite the wild life. Then, about a month ago, she rushed over to see me with a desperate plea. Her boss was going on maternity leave, and they needed someone to step in. The person who put together the best proposal would get the managerial position. My sister-in-law was never exactly a whiz with computers, so there was no chance shed manage the project alone.
My mother-in-law also started pressuring me. I couldnt see how I was supposed to write up a whole project while looking after the children. But my husbands mum assured me shed handle all the housework so I could focus on helping her daughter. I reluctantly agreed.
I cant look after the childrenI need to head back to the countryside, got to sort out some preserves. Youll have to manage without me, my mother-in-law rang the next day to say.
My sister-in-law didnt bother to help, either. I tried working through the night, but naturally, I was exhausted. I really wanted to help her, but all my time was eaten up by the childrenno one thought to offer me even a moments break.
Why isnt it ready? You promised! my sister-in-law shouted at me.
And you and your mum promised to watch the children. I didnt have a moment for any proper work, I replied.
She flew into a rage and said shed do everything herself. Unsurprisingly, she accomplished nothingher laziness always seemed to get the better of her, and so she missed out on the new job.
Youre awful, you sabotaged my daughter. Youre just jealous of her! my mother-in-law accused.
I didnt bother explaining anything. The most important thing was that my husband understood perfectly and told me not to have any more contact with his sister. From now on, she can fend for herselffree and independent.
What I took away from all of this was that sometimes, those who shout the loudest about success are the least willing to put in the effort themselves. Its better to mind your own business and help only where youre truly appreciated.
