**Diary Entry September 12th**
Bloody hell, that neighbour of oursMaggie from next doorwas at it again. You wouldnt know thyme from rosemary if it werent for the labels at Tesco, she muttered under her breath. And the only berries youve seen come in a jar of jam!
Valerie and I had finally bought our cottage in the Cotswolds last autumn, and now we were settling in properly. The house itself was lovelyfit for winter livingbut the garden? That was another story. The old orchard needed work, and wed ordered a new sauna, due in a week. We still had to pick a spot for it, along with the wood store, the washing line cover, and the gazebo. The kids promised to visit and help out.
Its peaceful here, Valerie said. We could stay year-round. Were retired now, after all.
Id checked the cellaronly needed a new door. Valerie inspected the back porch. Remember how we talked about a gazebo? she said. Pointless. This porch has that old round table and chairsjust needs refinishing. Well have tea here, looking out at the garden. She paused. Feels like someones been inside, though. We ought to change the locks.
Aye, locks first. Then well sort the back gardenneat but not too flashy. Out front, just a bit of lawn and flowers.
The perennials are coming up, Valerie said. Well figure out whats what. Might move a few things, but not this summer.
A week later, the sauna arrived, and so did the kids. Work began in earnest. Maggie turned up, her grandkids darting about like squirrels.
You got grandkids? she asked.
Aye, theyll visit, I said.
Whyre you putting up such a tall fence? Round here, weve always done without.
Without? There was one when we moved injust collapsed. You didnt care, but we like order. Dont fret, its right on the boundary.
No gate between us? The kids always used to cut through.
Not anymore. Street access only.
She huffed. Youve gone and pruned the apple trees. My lot loved climbing those.
We trimmed em proper and planted new ones. Yours can climb their own.
Maggie kept coming back, full of questions. Her grandkids trampled our flowerbeds until we put up the new gate.
Youre settling in proper, she remarked. Staying through winter?
Well see.
Whys the gate shut? The kids always played football out frontsafe, flat ground. The roads full of cars.
My fronts all beds, not like yours. You cant tell thyme from parsley without a label, and the only berries you know are in jam. Youd do well to be friendly.
Gate stays shut. Your lot let our hens out last weekstill missing three.
Youve got chickens? So youre staying, then?
Were already here.
Come late August, we celebrated my birthday. The family gatheredmen at the barbecue, women setting the table on the porch. Then Maggie appeared, uninvited.
Just popped round to say happy birthday! We always used to drop in. Neighbours, arent we? The kids already knowtheyve been waiting all morning.
This is family only, I said.
Oh, give over! Kidsll have fun together. Time we got friendly.
No matter what we said, she twisted it. Her grandkids shook the fruit trees, scrambled onto the sauna roof, then started lobbing decorative stones into the inflatable pool. Water gushed out, and the children shrieked with laughter.
Its nearly autumn anyway, Maggie said. Pools coming down soon. Let em have their fun.
Time you left.
But weve not even sat down! Kids are starved
The day was ruined. But a week later, the family returned for our anniversarythirty-five years. The youngest grandson, seven years old, had the sense to lock the gate.
We heard knocking. Everyone pretended not to. The smell of grilled meat mingled with the evening chill.
Whenre you heading back to London? someone asked.
Well see. Autumn first. Harvest the applescrops good this year. We like it here. Maggies the only nuisance, but weve learned to handle her.
Laughter all around.
After everyone left, Valerie and I stayed. Autumn lay ahead, then winter. Wed give it a go. If it didnt work out, there was always the London flat.
As for Maggie? Turned out she was off to help her daughter with the grandkidsschool starting and all. Valerie and I exchanged a relieved glance. Thank God for small mercies.
**Lesson learned:** Good fences make good neighboursespecially when the neighbours are Maggie.
