“You couldnt tell basil from parsley if it werent for the labels at the supermarket! And I bet the only berries youve seen are the ones in jam!” grumbled their offended neighbour.
Valerie and William had arrived at their countryside cottage. Theyd bought it last autumn and now, come spring, it was time to sort the place out. The house itself was lovelyperfect for winter staysbut the garden and everything else needed serious work.
The old orchard had to be tidied up, and theyd already ordered a new sauna, due for delivery in a weekthey just had to pick the spot. Along with that came plans for a laundry shed, a woodshed, and a gazebo. The kids had promised to visit and help out.
“Lovely here, isnt it? Quiet. We could live here year-round now were retired,” said William.
“I checked the cellarjust needs a new door.”
“And I had a look at the back porch. Remember we talked about a gazebo? Pointless. Theres a grand old round table and vintage chairs out therejust needs a bit of polish, and theyll last another century. Plus, the view of the garden is perfect for tea. Though the door needs replacingfeels like someones been inside recently.”
“Right, doors first. Well sort everything in the back gardenout of sight from the road, but still pretty. And out front, well have a proper lawn and flowers.”
“The flowers are already coming upperennials. Just need to figure out whats what. Might have to move a few, but well leave it for now.”
A week later, the sauna arrived, and so did the kids. The garden overhaul began. The neighbour popped over to introduce herself, her grandkids already scampering around.
“Youve got grandchildren too, then?”
“Yes, theyll visit.”
“Why are you putting up such a tall fence? Weve always got on fine without one here.”
“Without one? Then what was that mess we just cleared? The fence was therejust collapsed. You might not care, but we like things tidy. And dont worry, we havent pinched an inch of your landits right on the boundary.”
“No little gate, then? Theres always been a path here.”
“Between our places? No, thats not happening. Entrance is from the road only.”
“But how will the kids run about? Yours, oursthey love climbing your apple trees, you know.”
“We didnt cut them downjust pruned them. Planted new ones, too. Yours can climb your own trees.”
“All new, isnt it? And why the bushes along the fence?”
“For beauty, obviously!”
The neighbour kept coming back with fresh complaints, her grandkids darting about until the new gates went up.
“Youve really settled in properly,” she remarked again. “Staying through winter?”
“Well see.”
“Whyve you locked the gate? The kids always used to play football out frontnice and flat, safe from the road.”
“Unlike yours, my front garden is full of veg beds. You couldnt tell thyme from tarragon if it werent for the packaging. And I doubt youve ever seen a berry outside a jar. Try being friendly.”
“The gates shut to keep nosy parkersand your grandkidsout. Two days ago, they let our hens loose, and we never found half of them.”
“Youve got chickens? So youre staying, then?”
“We already live here.”
By late August, it was Williams birthday. The kids and grandkids arrived, and the whole family gathered. The men grilled meat while the women prepped salads on the back porch.
“Here we are! Just dropping by as neighbours, you know. We always used to pop in uninvitedthats what neighbours do. The kids knew first thing this morningsaw you setting up. Must be a party!”
“Actually, its just family. A private celebration.”
“Well, maybe one day well be like family! Kids grow up, after all,” she chirped.
No matter what they said, she twisted it and stayed put. Her grandkids were everywhereshaking the pear trees, clambering onto the sauna roof (luckily no broken bones). Then they started chucking decorative stones into the inflatable pool. By the time anyone noticed, water was gushing out as the children fled, shrieking with glee.
“Honestly, its nearly autumntime to pack the pool away anyway,” said the neighbour. “Let them have their fun.”
“Time for you to go home.”
“But weve not even sat down! Kids are starving after all that running. Come on, everyonedig in!”
The party was ruined. But there was another one soonValerie and Williams thirty-fifth wedding anniversary.
This time, someone had the sense to lock the gate straight awayturned out it was their seven-year-old grandson.
Knocking echoed from the driveway. The family pretended not to hear. The smell of barbecue and fresh air mingled as the evening cooled.
“When are you heading back to town?” someone asked.
“Well see. Autumn first, then winter Well give it a go. Always the flat to fall back on.”
As it happened, the neighbour left firstschool was starting, and her daughter needed help with the grandkids. Valerie and William exchanged relieved glances. Some neighbours really were more trouble than they were worth.
What would you have done? Let us know in the commentsand dont forget to like and subscribe!
