Why would a good-looking, successful bloke like me need to get married? Robert pondered as he drove home. When will we have grandchildren? his parents wondered, anxiously, miles away.
Robert dropped his friend off outside her terraced house and headed up the winding street back to his own flat in Manchester.
He fried up some eggs with a bit of ham, let them sizzle, and sat down at his little kitchen table. He turned on his phone off all night and scrolled through the missed calls.
Mum called, he mumbled. No doubt to have another go at me for being so hopeless…
But Robert wasnt hopeless; quite the opposite. He had a good job, owned a tidy two-bedroom flat and drove a respectable car. The only problem, at twenty-five, he was still a bachelor.
Why should a decent lad like me settle down? he repeated to himself.
When will we get to cradle our grandkids? his parents lamented over their tea in Leeds.
He tapped his mothers number, waiting for her to answer.
Hello, Mum! Hows your health? he asked brightly.
Im fine, no thanks to my useless son, her voice came sharp.
And Dad?
Him too, though hes just about to go out to the allotment. Hes planning to turn over the beds and says its nearly time to put potatoes in. We havent seen you in months, Rob. Takes you half an hour by car and we might as well be strangers.
Sorry, Mum. Cant today. I promise Ill come next weekend.
And how many weekends has it been now since you said youd introduce us to your girlfriend?
Mum, listen, I promise next weekend Ill come with my girlfriend. Yes, really! he blurted out before thinking.
Your fiancée?
Not quite, not yet.
Oh Robbie, Im so glad! Well be waiting for you on Saturday then. Ill make all your favourites!
After hanging up, Robert buried his face in his hands.
Why did I say that? Who am I going to bring? Rachel? Hmm. Maybe when Ive slept on it, Ill call her. Not that the folksll be thrilled and Rachels not one for country living. Still, I could just bring her for a visit. Never mind, bed first…
He left the greasy pan on the table and wandered off for a nap.
When he woke, his promise came back to haunt him. He rang Rachel.
Morning, gorgeous, he said, trying to sound lighthearted.
Morning, Robert, she replied, her tone chilly.
Rachel, are you alright? Look, Ill come round now.
No, Robert, I dont think thats a good idea. Things have changed for me.
Changed how? What sort of things? he felt irritation bubbling up.
Im getting engaged.
Ill come round. Well talk. You and your fiancé can both explain…
The line went dead.
Robert tossed the phone onto the sofa in frustration. He usually left his girlfriends; this time, hed been left behind.
He wandered to the bathroom, then back to the kitchen to make a coffee.
Where am I going to find a girlfriend for Mum and Dad now? Who from the last few could I ask? Might think I mean something serious…
He didnt get to finish his coffee. Suddenly, his car alarm screeched outside. He rushed to his bedroom window. His Ford was parked out back, visible from the window, always within sight even at night but now, a man of about forty-five stood beside it, staring straight up at his window.
Who’s this supposed to be? Robert muttered.
He slipped on his trainers and dashed downstairs, out onto the parking lot.
Hey mate, what are you doing here? Robert called out.
Listen up, son, the stranger growled with a posh accent. Catch you hanging round Rachel again, therell be trouble.
Get lost!
Suddenly, a burly bloke emerged from behind a hedge.
Robert opened his mouth to protest and everything went black…
Robert! Robert! a gentle voice drifted through to him.
He looked up to see a nondescript girl kneeling beside him on the ground. He felt sure hed seen her before.
Can you hear me? Or should I call an ambulance?
Dont worry, Ive got a first aid kit in my car, he smiled feebly. Can you help?
Sure. I finished my nursing degree, actually.
Robert studied her closely she lived in the next block. Always gave a quick hello, but hed thought she was still at school. What was her name? She must have sensed his hesitation.
Im Sophie. Live just over there, next stairwell, she offered, smiling shyly.
Hop in, Sophie! he opened the back door for her. First aid kits there.
He slide into the drivers seat as she cleaned up his cuts.
Nothing serious, she said, handing back some plasters.
Thanks, honestly.
He caught her eyes in the mirror, uncertain whether she ought to leave.
Fancy a coffee? I didnt get a proper breakfast, Robert asked, on a whim.
Like this? she glanced down at her old t-shirt and sweatpants.
Why not? Im hardly dressed up either.
No, I couldnt.
Fine by me, Robert chuckled. We can both change and go.
Half an hour later she reappeared in a flowery dress, a dab of cheap makeup on her face. Unexpectedly, he felt like walking, not driving.
Sophie, shall we just have a wander?
Alright, she said, linking her arm through his.
All the way to the high street, Sophie kept up a cheerful stream of stories. They ducked into a cosy café and sat near the window. Robert slid the menu in front of her.
Order whatever you fancy!
Sophie studied the menu, hesitating more over the prices than the dishes. Realising she wasnt used to such places, Robert signalled the waiter.
Something really nice and sweet for the lady, and a coffee, please!
And for you?
Just the coffee, thanks.
Weve got a lovely slice of Victoria sponge.
Perfect.
After lattes and cake, they ambled home together, splitting up at her building.
The working week flew by. Friday, Robert came home from work.
Damn, promised Mum Id come down with my girlfriend tomorrow… now what?
He made a sandwich, switched on the kettle, still pondering tomorrows dilemma.
Should I just go alone? Mum will look so disappointed again. I need a plan…
Then it hit him.
What if I bring Sophie? Only… we havent met since Sunday. Ill just say Ive been busy…
He ate, shaved, got changed into his best shirt, and, feeling oddly nervous, walked over to her building.
He remembered the block fifteen flats, but apart from her name, he hardly knew anything about her.
He lingered outside, glancing up at the windows, when suddenly there she was, dashing out the door, still in her comfy sweatshirt and joggers, clearly having spotted him from above.
She paused, uncertain.
Hi, Sophie!
Hi, Robert! her face shone.
Fancy going out for a walk?
Im not even dressed up.
Ill wait, he grinned. Half an hour sound alright?
Yes! she giggled, running back inside.
Sophie, whats going on? her mum called, puzzled.
Im just popping out for a bit.
Why so sudden?
But her daughter ignored her, rushing back and forth, spraying perfume, changing tops. Mum dashed to the window, then back again.
Is that Robert youre meeting?
Yes, Mum.
Why would a looker like him want to spend time with you?
Im twenty already, Mum, Sophie replied, embarrassed.
Look at the girls that chase after him! You do know that, dont you?
Please, Mum, not now!
Oh, what a carry-on…
But Sophie was already in her room. She suspected the entire building would soon be talking, and shed be the subject of every old ladys gossip. But she didnt care.
She left the building, not daring to look back but sure her mother was watching from the window and confidently took Roberts arm.
Where to?
Stroll in the park, a café stop, and lets see how the evening goes under the moonlight…
They walked through the park, lingered in the café, ended up holding each other for ages in the glow of the streetlamps. Then Sophies phone buzzed.
Sophie, its one in the morning! came her mums exasperated voice.
Coming! Sophie whispered, eyes lowered. Robert, I need to head back.
Ill walk you…
Outside her stairwell, they clung to each other, Robert suddenly decisive, almost commanding:
Tomorrow, youre coming to meet my parents…
… Harold! Roberts mum called out as she spotted the car. Robs here!
About time he remembered his parents, muttered his dad, striding to the doorway.
And with a girl! his mum squeaked, rushing outside.
Linda hurried to her son, greeting him while her gaze fixed on Sophie.
She turned to her:
And whats your name, love?
Sophie, she murmured, flustered.
Well, Im Auntie Linda. Come on in, dont be shy!
Thank you!
Out came Roberts dad. He went straight to Sophie and beamed:
At last, our boys brought home a decent young lady. Whats your name, sweetheart?
Sophie.
And Im Harold Uncle Harold to you.
Sophie hadnt expected such a warm welcome. Shed pictured severe, snooty parents not folk as down-to-earth as her own. To her surprise, they looked genuinely happy that she came from an ordinary family.
The house was already set for a celebration table groaning under roast beef, pies, trifles, and all.
After lunch, Robert and his dad headed out to dig the patch of garden for vegetables. Sophie approached his mum.
Auntie Linda, let me help you clear up and wash the dishes.
Lets do it together! she smiled, as if Sophie was the daughter shed always wanted.
After the men finished digging, everyone joined in to plant the potatoes.
When the job was done, Sophie sighed.
I should go home, my mum will be worried.
Sophie, Linda came over, what on earth for? Lets have supper, you can stay over. Theres plenty of room and you can catch the train in the morning.
Im not sure, Sophie admitted, but her eyes pleaded to stay.
Give her a ring! Linda encouraged.
Sophie dialled home:
Mum, is it alright if I stay the night here?
You promised youd be back! Are you sure you know what youre doing?
Whats your mums name? Linda took Sophies mobile from her.
Pauline.
Hello, Pauline! Its Linda, Roberts mum. Dont worry, Sophie will be safe here, Ill put them in separate rooms not to worry.
Im not sure what to say…
Pauline, youve raised a smashing daughter…
They talked for half an hour, mother to mother.
Next day, as they were packed to leave, Linda loaded up bags of homemade food, directing most of the parcels towards Sophie.
This lots for Robert, these two for you.
Auntie Linda, thats far too much!
You city girls dont feed yourselves properly. Thats why youre so skinny.
Then she pulled Robert aside, while Harold loaded the car.
Have you two planned the wedding yet?
Mum! Weve not even talked about it.
Best start talking! Dont let a good girl slip.
Well see, Mum.
I mean it! No more bringing anyone else home.
As soon as the car pulled away, Linda called Pauline:
Theyre on their way, love. Alls gone well. I sent plenty of food for you.
Oh, Linda, you neednt have…
Dont be daft! Fingers crossed, well be family soon enough!
You do talk! but Pauline didnt hide her approval.
Hes twenty-five, has his own flat, a car. What more do you want in a son-in-law? Dont know whats in your Sophies head, though.
In her head? Shes got hearts in her eyes for your son!
Well, if we cant teach them sense, who can?
Your Robert is quite the catch…
And your Sophies a diamond and a grafter!
Shes always been tidy and cooks well since she was little…
Robert drove home, grinning to himself. Sophie, curious, finally broke the silence.
Robert, whats so funny?
My parents really liked you.
Dont be silly.
Mum said not to let you go.
And you?
I wont!
They shared a look, both their eyes shining with laughter and something deeper, as the English countryside flashed by outside.
