I dont want to live with my daughters family. Let me tell you why.
My daughter and her family found themselves without a roof over their heads. After the recent floods, their flat was uninhabitable and desperate for repairs. There wasnt truly anywhere else for them to go, so, of course, they moved in with me.
It was clear that the situation left them with no alternatives, so I took them into my home. Still, after talking things through with my daughter and my son-in-law, we all agreed this was a temporary fixtheyd be back in their own flat as soon as possible.
My daughter is a lovely woman, and my son-in-law is far from dull. We all understand that a family unit has to be self-sufficient; anyone outside that nucleus ends up being an outsider, no matter how close. I take this to heart, and I want to explain my reasons.
I have my own rhythm to life, entirely at odds with theirs. To be honest, though I can get along with my daughter in my space, her husband feels like a stranger. But he, too, deserves to have his privacy. Theres no sense in arguing over my habit of falling asleep with the telly still blaring, or their choice to invite friends over whenever they fancy. Each of us has our own way of keeping things in order at home. Best not to argue about unwashed tea mugslittle slights like that can easily ruin even the most affectionate of relationships.
Weve utterly different tastes in food, never mind the chaos when uninvited guests appear. Lets be frankwhen company descends unannounced, its not unheard of to find someone raiding anothers treats from the larder. Not that bolting the fridge shut is much of an answer either.
And then theres the matter of everyone having different sleeping patterns, which leaves people tiptoeing around, worried theyll wake someone. Folk can be careless with other peoples sleep, and a poor night can make you irritable as anything. It takes next to nothingjust a single sharp wordfor everyones tempers to flare.
I also have no desire to judge my daughter and her husbands way of life. I raised her as best I could, and now Id rather confine myself to what theyre willing to share with me. I dont need to know more, but thats impossible when youre all crammed under one roof.
Most importantly, I want to be the one who decides how I help, or if I do at all, and only when I truly wish to. I need time for myself, as well.
This is why, no matter how much I love my family, Id rather not live with them.
