**A Grand Christening Dilemma**
*Diary Entry*
“John, a christening in a restaurant? Now we’ll have to buy a proper gift!” I said to my husband when I found out our daughter was throwing an extravagant party for our granddaughter. This is the story of how we struggled to understand the right way to celebrate her christening—and why it caused so many disagreements.
**The Invitation**
Our daughter, Emily, had her baby a little over six months ago. Little Charlotte is our first grandchild, and John and I adore her. When Emily announced the christening, I was thrilled—it’s a sacred occasion, and I wanted it done traditionally. But then she mentioned it wouldn’t just be a simple church service followed by tea at home. No, it was to be held in a posh London restaurant, complete with a host, photographer, and dozens of guests. I was stunned. “Emily, why all this fuss? It’s a christening, not a royal wedding!”
She insisted she wanted it to be special, something to remember. Her husband, James, backed her up—said it was their first child, after all, and they wanted to celebrate properly. I bit my tongue, but inside, I was uneasy. John and I have always lived modestly, and such lavish spending seemed unnecessary.
**The Gift Dilemma**
Then came the real problem—what gift to give? Traditionally, you’d offer something meaningful—a silver cross, a Bible, or savings for the child’s future. But Emily hinted that since it was a restaurant event, showing up empty-handed wouldn’t do. “So, just put money in an envelope?” I asked. She shrugged. “Up to you, but everyone else will be giving something.” I did the maths—even £50 felt too little, but anything more was out of our pension budget.
John suggested skipping the restaurant altogether. “Let’s visit the next day—congratulate Charlotte at home and give her a heartfelt gift,” he said. I agreed. A home visit felt warmer, and we wouldn’t have to fret over envelopes. We settled on a silver cross and a beautifully illustrated children’s Bible—thoughtful and traditional.
**The Argument**
When I told Emily our plan, she was hurt. “Mum, you’re not coming to the christening? It’s Charlotte’s big day, and you’re just… opting out?” I tried explaining—we weren’t rejecting the christening, just the restaurant spectacle. But she took it as a slight. “All the other grandparents will be there. Don’t you want to be part of our family?” That stung. Of course we did—but why did it have to mean a three-course meal in Mayfair?
John was firm. “If they want to burn money, that’s their choice. We’d rather spend time with Charlotte properly.” Still, seeing Emily upset made me question myself. Are we just old-fashioned? Should we have swallowed our pride and gone?
**The Compromise**
In the end, we found middle ground. John and I attended the church service—quiet and heartfelt, with Charlotte looking angelic in her white gown. We skipped the restaurant but visited the next day, bringing our gifts and sharing tea at home. Emily was frosty at first, but she softened when she saw Charlotte’s face light up at the sight of us.
I’ve realised traditions mean different things to different people. For Emily, it was about celebration. For us, it was about closeness. But it leaves me uneasy—are family events now just about money and appearances?
If you’ve faced something similar, how did you handle it? How do you balance your principles with your children’s expectations? Or are John and I just too set in our ways? I’d welcome any advice.
