Who Slept in My Bed and Creased the Sheets… A Story My Husband’s Mistress Was Barely Older Than Our Daughter – Chubby Cheeks, Innocent Eyes, a Nose Piercing (He Forbade Our Daughter When She Wanted One). It Was Impossible to Be Angry at Her – I Looked at Her Bare Blue Legs and Cropped Jacket and Wanted to Say, “If You Plan to Have Kids With That Idiot, Buy a Winter Coat and Put Tights On Under Your Jeans.” Of Course, I Said Nothing. I Handed Her the Keys, Grabbed My Bags, and Headed to the Bus Stop. “Excuse Me, Mrs. Johnson, What’s That Thing Under the Kitchen Counter?” She Called After Me. “Is It For Storing Dishes?” Unable to Hold Back, I Shot Over My Shoulder: “I Usually Hide My Husband’s Mistresses’ Bodies There, But You Can Use It For Plates.” Without Waiting for Her Reaction or Looking at Her Shocked Face, I Walked Down the Stairs, Pleased With Myself. Well, That’s It – Twenty Years of Marriage Down the Drain. It Was our Daughter Who First Discovered Her Dad’s Mistress. She Skipped School, Came Home Expecting Nobody, and Found the Young Nymph Drinking Cocoa From Her Favorite Mug – Wearing Nothing But a Few Shreds, With Dad Splashing in the Shower. Smart Girl as She Is, She Immediately Called Me: “Mum, I Think Dad Has a Mistress and She’s Wearing My Slippers and Drinking From My Mug!” Just Like a Fairy Tale, I Thought – My Daughter Was Upset, But More Because Someone Touched Her Things Than Because of Her Dad’s Betrayal. Who Slept in My Bed and Creased the Sheets… Unlike My Daughter, I Didn’t Take It So Badly. Sure, My Ego Was Bruised – The Girl Was Young and Gorgeous, While I Was Carrying Extra Weight and Cellulite and All The Signs of a Forty-Something. Still, I Felt Relief – No More Night Calls, Weird Work Schedules, Coffee Shop Receipts Where My Husband Never Took Me… He’d Never Been Caught Red-Handed, Always Covering His Tracks And Making Me Feel Like The Guilty One For Suspecting Him. “It Was the First Time,” He Lied. “Like a Comet Fell Out of Nowhere.” That ‘Comet’ Was a Hotel Worker Where He Stayed on Business – She Was Just Twenty, and Apart From a Pretty Face, She Wasn’t Much Else. Not Even Brains – As She Chased Him all the Way to London, Renting a Grubby Room on Savings. So They Met at Our Flat – Easy for Showers and Laundry. No Wonder I Kept Finding the Washing Machine on the ‘Quick Wash’ Setting Instead of ‘Mixed Fabrics’! The Apartment Belonged to My Husband, Inherited From His Father Before Our Wedding, and With Divorce Imminent, My Daughter and I Had to Move Out to My Nan’s Flat on the City’s Edge. My Daughter Complained – How Would She Get to School? “Why Not Stay With Us?” He Suggested – Earning Himself Another Round of Insults. At Least Our Daughter Could Tell Him What She Really Thought Now. The Early Days Were Tough – New Bus Routes, New Shops, Over an Hour to Work and School. But We Settled In – I Changed Jobs, My Daughter Started College, Closer Than School. No Time to Be Sad – Life’s Practicalities and Exams Kept Us Busy, and Once Things Settled, There Was No Room Left for Regret. That Girl, His Mistress, Rang Me Occasionally – Asked What Setting to Bake Pies, Where to Put Dishwasher Tablets. Once She Even Stopped By, Bringing Forgotten Photos Needed For Prom. My Ex Couldn’t (Or Wouldn’t) Come, I Was Ill, and My Daughter Refused Point Blank to Return to the Old Flat – Bad for Her Mental Health. “Nice Place You’ve Got,” She Said Nervously, Looking at Faded Wallpaper and Dated Lamps. I Just Smiled – Yes, Nice Enough, What Can I Say? It Was Modern and Comfortable Over There – I’d Worked Twenty Years for It. Let Them Enjoy It. But That Visit Came Back to Bite Me – One Evening, About a Year Later, The Door Lock Clicked. “For You?” I Asked My Daughter. She Just Stared. On the Threshold Stood That Girl – Red-Eyed, Mascara Trails Down Her Cheeks, Sporting a Gym Bag. “What’s Happened With Steve?” I Asked. “Something Has! I Caught Him With the Secretary! Thought I’d Surprise Him Since He Was Working Late, and…” She Broke Down, Sobbed Like a Child, Face Buried in Palms. “What Do You Want From Me?” I Asked, Eyeing the Bulging Gym Bag. “Can I Stay Here Tonight? I’ve Got No Money. I’ll Take the Train to Mum’s Tomorrow.” “How Will You Get There With No Money?” “I Thought You’d Lend Me Some…” I Didn’t Know Whether to Laugh or Cry. My Daughter Decided For Me: “Get Out!” She Snapped, Adding a Few Choice Words She’d Never Used Before. I Gave Her a Disapproving Look. “Come In, Love,” I Said. “It’s Night – I’m Not Putting You Out On The Street.” Things Got Worse. My Daughter Was So Furious She Announced: It’s Either Me Or Her. I Shrugged – Your Choice, You’re an Adult. Go to Your Dad If You Want. “As If! I’ll Go Stay With Natalie!” I Ordered Her a Taxi For the Night; Then Spent The Evening Comforting The Hapless Mistress With Tea and Calming Drops. Money? I Lent Her, What Else Could I Do – But Not To Stay With Me. Even Drove Her To The Station. She Kept Thanking Me, Apologizing, Swearing She’d Start Over – Get an Education, Avoid Married Men. “Mum Always Said I Was Hopeless. Turns Out She Was Right.” Putting Her on the Train and Waving Goodbye Was A Step Too Far. My Daughter and I Made Up Quickly, Though She Still Couldn’t Understand How I Let That Homewrecker Stay In Our House. I Hugged Her Hairy Head, Smiled and Said: “You’ll Understand When You’re Older.” My Ex-Husband Called a Week Later. He’d Seen the Light, Dumped the Mistress, Ready for a Happy Reunion. “Run Out of Clean Shirts?” I Asked. “Well, Yes,” He Sighed. “She Never Learned To Do Laundry – I’ve Worn Grubby Ones for a Year Now.” Of Course, I Didn’t Take Him Back. Didn’t Gloat, Didn’t Suffer. But I Had To Admit – Something Had Lifted From Me After That Night; My Heart Felt Lighter, I Smiled More. Got a Dog, Walked It in the Evenings. Met a Nice Neighbor – So What If He’s Ten Years Older, I’m No Spring Chicken. And Life Moved On.

Who slept on my bed and crumpled the sheets A Reminiscence.

My husbands mistress was only a little older than our daughterround, childish cheeks, innocent eyes, and a nose piercing (when our own daughter wanted one, David was furious and would never allow it). It was impossible to feel any real anger toward someone so young. I looked at her blue-tinged bare legs and the short jacket and almost said something sarcastic: If youre planning to bear children for that fool, buy a proper parka and wear tights under your jeans. But, of course, I said nothing. I simply handed Lucy the keys, scooped up the last two bags of my belongings, and walked out towards the bus stop.

Mrs. Lane, what’s that thing under the kitchen counter? the girl called after me. Is it for storing the dishes?

I couldnt help myself and tossed back, I usually kept the bodies of Davids mistresses there, but youre welcome to wash the plates instead.

Without waiting for a reply, nor seeing Lucys frightened face, I descended the steps, rather satisfied with myself. Well thenthat was the end of it. Twenty years of life thrown away, just like that.

It was our daughter, Grace, who discovered Davids affair first. Shed skipped classes one day and came home, convinced the house would be empty, only to find the young nymph sipping hot chocolate from her favourite mug. Considering the girl was scantily clad and David could be heard in the shower, Grace quickly put two and two together, rang me up, and announced:

Mum, I think Dads got a girlfriend, and shes wearing my slippers and drinking out of my cup!

Just like in a fairy tale, I thought, recalling the way Grace was most annoyed not by her fathers betrayal, but by a stranger touching her things. Who slept on my bed and left it wrinkled

Unlike Grace, I found the whole situation rather uncomplicated. My pride smarted, of coursethe girl was so young and beautiful, whilst Id long since acquired the extra pounds and cellulite every forty-year-old dreads. Yet, I mostly felt relief; years of late-night calls, his erratic work hours, the receipts from cafés David never took me to And somehow, hed always manage to slip away, leaving me feeling guilty for even suspecting him.

This is the first time, David lied with brazen ease. It was a sort of eclipse, like a comet falling from the sky.

His comet turned out to be a hotel staffer hed met on a business trip. She was twenty, all looks and no sense, judging by the fact she followed him back to London and rented a filthy room on her saved money. Hence their rendezvous in our flatthere she could clean up and do laundry. No wonder the washing machine constantly ran on the quick cycle, never mixed fabrics as I liked!

The flat, of course, belonged to David; hed gotten it from his father before we married. And so, when I decided to file for divorce, Grace and I packed up for my own place on the outskirts of London, left to me by my grandmother. Grace grumbled endlesslyhow would she ever manage the long trip to school?

Come stay with us, then, David offered. That earned him another string of insults. At least Grace wasnt shy about telling him exactly what she thought.

The first weeks were toughnew commutes, unfamiliar shops, an hour to school and work. But soon enough we settled in. I found another job, Grace entered college, and her new journey took half as long. There was little time for sorrow: daily chores and exams kept us both busy, and once those troubles faded, sadness felt pointless.

Lucy called a few times, asking which setting to bake pies or which compartment to use for the dishwasher tablets. Once she even came by, needing some forgotten photos for graduation. David couldntor wouldntvisit himself, I was down with a cold, and Grace outright refused to go near the old flat, fearing permanent psychological scarring. She had her computer science exam coming up, after all.

Its quite homely here, Lucy said, glancing over the faded wallpapers and outdated lamps.

I just smiledyes, homely indeed. Meanwhile, over there, it was modern and stylish, thanks to twenty years of my hard work. Well, let them enjoy it.

It was this visit that later returned to haunt meabout a year after the memorable day, one evening as we sat together, the front door lock clicked.

Is that for you? I asked Grace.

She looked startled.

At the door stood Lucy, tear-stained, streaks of black mascara and glittery eye shadow down her cheeks, clutching a sports bag.

Has something happened with David? I asked, alarmed.

Yes! she whimpered, nose running. I caught him with his secretary! I thought Id surprise him, since he was working late and

She burst into tears again, sobbing like a child and burying her face in her hands.

Well, what do you want from me? I asked, guessing what the bulging sports bag implied.

Could I stay the night? Ive got no money. Tomorrow, Ill go back to my mums by train.

And with what money will you travel?

I hoped you could lend me some.

I wasnt sure whether to laugh or cry.

Grace made up her own mind.

Just get out! she snapped, adding some rather colourful language shed never used in front of me before.

I looked at her disapprovingly.

Come in, Lucy, I said. Its late. I cant have you wandering the streets.

And then things got worse.

Grace was so appalled she declaredeither her or me. I just shruggedher choice, she was of age. Go stay with your dad if you want.

No chance! Ill go to Annies!

So, a taxi was called for Grace to spend the night at her friends. Meanwhile, I sat, brewing tea and doling out valerian for Davids unfortunate ex, who, after a year in London, hadnt any friends or job, just a fresh tongue piercing. Of course, I gave Lucy the farewhat else could I do, I couldnt keep her with me. I even escorted her to the station, lest she get lost.

Lucy thanked me profusely, begged forgiveness, and promised to make something new of herselfuniversity, and no more married men.

Mum always said I was hopeless. Turns out she was right.

I certainly didnt wave her off at the trainnot necessary. Grace and I patched things up quickly, though she still struggled to understand how I could welcome the other woman into our home. I stroked her soft hair, smiled, and said,

Youll understand when youre older.

David rang a week later. Hed seen the light, ditched Lucy, and was ready to build our happiness again.

Run out of clean shirts, have you? I asked, wryly.

Well, yes, sighed my former husband. Anyway, she couldnt manage the washingbeen wearing greasy clothes all year.

Of course, I never went back. And I didnt gloat. But I had to admitmy spirits had changed after all that: I felt lighter; I smiled more. I got a dog, started taking evening walks, met a charming neighbour. So what if he was ten years my senior? I wasnt a girl anymore myself. And so, life carried on, in its own unhurried way.

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Who Slept in My Bed and Creased the Sheets… A Story My Husband’s Mistress Was Barely Older Than Our Daughter – Chubby Cheeks, Innocent Eyes, a Nose Piercing (He Forbade Our Daughter When She Wanted One). It Was Impossible to Be Angry at Her – I Looked at Her Bare Blue Legs and Cropped Jacket and Wanted to Say, “If You Plan to Have Kids With That Idiot, Buy a Winter Coat and Put Tights On Under Your Jeans.” Of Course, I Said Nothing. I Handed Her the Keys, Grabbed My Bags, and Headed to the Bus Stop. “Excuse Me, Mrs. Johnson, What’s That Thing Under the Kitchen Counter?” She Called After Me. “Is It For Storing Dishes?” Unable to Hold Back, I Shot Over My Shoulder: “I Usually Hide My Husband’s Mistresses’ Bodies There, But You Can Use It For Plates.” Without Waiting for Her Reaction or Looking at Her Shocked Face, I Walked Down the Stairs, Pleased With Myself. Well, That’s It – Twenty Years of Marriage Down the Drain. It Was our Daughter Who First Discovered Her Dad’s Mistress. She Skipped School, Came Home Expecting Nobody, and Found the Young Nymph Drinking Cocoa From Her Favorite Mug – Wearing Nothing But a Few Shreds, With Dad Splashing in the Shower. Smart Girl as She Is, She Immediately Called Me: “Mum, I Think Dad Has a Mistress and She’s Wearing My Slippers and Drinking From My Mug!” Just Like a Fairy Tale, I Thought – My Daughter Was Upset, But More Because Someone Touched Her Things Than Because of Her Dad’s Betrayal. Who Slept in My Bed and Creased the Sheets… Unlike My Daughter, I Didn’t Take It So Badly. Sure, My Ego Was Bruised – The Girl Was Young and Gorgeous, While I Was Carrying Extra Weight and Cellulite and All The Signs of a Forty-Something. Still, I Felt Relief – No More Night Calls, Weird Work Schedules, Coffee Shop Receipts Where My Husband Never Took Me… He’d Never Been Caught Red-Handed, Always Covering His Tracks And Making Me Feel Like The Guilty One For Suspecting Him. “It Was the First Time,” He Lied. “Like a Comet Fell Out of Nowhere.” That ‘Comet’ Was a Hotel Worker Where He Stayed on Business – She Was Just Twenty, and Apart From a Pretty Face, She Wasn’t Much Else. Not Even Brains – As She Chased Him all the Way to London, Renting a Grubby Room on Savings. So They Met at Our Flat – Easy for Showers and Laundry. No Wonder I Kept Finding the Washing Machine on the ‘Quick Wash’ Setting Instead of ‘Mixed Fabrics’! The Apartment Belonged to My Husband, Inherited From His Father Before Our Wedding, and With Divorce Imminent, My Daughter and I Had to Move Out to My Nan’s Flat on the City’s Edge. My Daughter Complained – How Would She Get to School? “Why Not Stay With Us?” He Suggested – Earning Himself Another Round of Insults. At Least Our Daughter Could Tell Him What She Really Thought Now. The Early Days Were Tough – New Bus Routes, New Shops, Over an Hour to Work and School. But We Settled In – I Changed Jobs, My Daughter Started College, Closer Than School. No Time to Be Sad – Life’s Practicalities and Exams Kept Us Busy, and Once Things Settled, There Was No Room Left for Regret. That Girl, His Mistress, Rang Me Occasionally – Asked What Setting to Bake Pies, Where to Put Dishwasher Tablets. Once She Even Stopped By, Bringing Forgotten Photos Needed For Prom. My Ex Couldn’t (Or Wouldn’t) Come, I Was Ill, and My Daughter Refused Point Blank to Return to the Old Flat – Bad for Her Mental Health. “Nice Place You’ve Got,” She Said Nervously, Looking at Faded Wallpaper and Dated Lamps. I Just Smiled – Yes, Nice Enough, What Can I Say? It Was Modern and Comfortable Over There – I’d Worked Twenty Years for It. Let Them Enjoy It. But That Visit Came Back to Bite Me – One Evening, About a Year Later, The Door Lock Clicked. “For You?” I Asked My Daughter. She Just Stared. On the Threshold Stood That Girl – Red-Eyed, Mascara Trails Down Her Cheeks, Sporting a Gym Bag. “What’s Happened With Steve?” I Asked. “Something Has! I Caught Him With the Secretary! Thought I’d Surprise Him Since He Was Working Late, and…” She Broke Down, Sobbed Like a Child, Face Buried in Palms. “What Do You Want From Me?” I Asked, Eyeing the Bulging Gym Bag. “Can I Stay Here Tonight? I’ve Got No Money. I’ll Take the Train to Mum’s Tomorrow.” “How Will You Get There With No Money?” “I Thought You’d Lend Me Some…” I Didn’t Know Whether to Laugh or Cry. My Daughter Decided For Me: “Get Out!” She Snapped, Adding a Few Choice Words She’d Never Used Before. I Gave Her a Disapproving Look. “Come In, Love,” I Said. “It’s Night – I’m Not Putting You Out On The Street.” Things Got Worse. My Daughter Was So Furious She Announced: It’s Either Me Or Her. I Shrugged – Your Choice, You’re an Adult. Go to Your Dad If You Want. “As If! I’ll Go Stay With Natalie!” I Ordered Her a Taxi For the Night; Then Spent The Evening Comforting The Hapless Mistress With Tea and Calming Drops. Money? I Lent Her, What Else Could I Do – But Not To Stay With Me. Even Drove Her To The Station. She Kept Thanking Me, Apologizing, Swearing She’d Start Over – Get an Education, Avoid Married Men. “Mum Always Said I Was Hopeless. Turns Out She Was Right.” Putting Her on the Train and Waving Goodbye Was A Step Too Far. My Daughter and I Made Up Quickly, Though She Still Couldn’t Understand How I Let That Homewrecker Stay In Our House. I Hugged Her Hairy Head, Smiled and Said: “You’ll Understand When You’re Older.” My Ex-Husband Called a Week Later. He’d Seen the Light, Dumped the Mistress, Ready for a Happy Reunion. “Run Out of Clean Shirts?” I Asked. “Well, Yes,” He Sighed. “She Never Learned To Do Laundry – I’ve Worn Grubby Ones for a Year Now.” Of Course, I Didn’t Take Him Back. Didn’t Gloat, Didn’t Suffer. But I Had To Admit – Something Had Lifted From Me After That Night; My Heart Felt Lighter, I Smiled More. Got a Dog, Walked It in the Evenings. Met a Nice Neighbor – So What If He’s Ten Years Older, I’m No Spring Chicken. And Life Moved On.