You know, sometimes I just need to get this off my chesteveryone always says family pulls together, but Im not so sure its like that for everyone. Take our situation, for example. My daughter married, and unfortunately, we havent had much luck with our son-in-law and his folks. We do everything for our kids, but as for them, theyre nowhere to be found whenever help’s needed. Its been eight years since the wedding, and were still dealing with all this family drama.
When the issue of getting them a place cropped up, his parents were quick to make it clear: Thats not our problem. Can you imagine? So, my husband and I had to up sticks and sell our lovely, cosy brick house to buy my daughter and her husband a flat. I really didnt want to, our place was warm and absolutely perfect, but, well, what can you do? The main thing was making sure our kids had a home to start their family in. We did up the place, bought all the furniture, and, of course, there wasnt even a peep of help from his parents.
Im also the one running around with the grandkids. My daughters on maternity leave at the moment, looking after the little one, and their eldest is in Year 2 now. Mornings are a mad rush, so I do the school run most of the time. Theres just no way she could get both of them up, dressed and out the door on her own, not unless shes got superpowers! So my husband and I take it in turnsbeing hands-on grandparents is just what we do.
Meanwhile, our son-in-laws parents act as if none of this concerns them, as though theyve got nothing to do with the kids at all. I just look at it all and wonder how grandparents can be so indifferent, especially to their own grandkids.
Its always been like this, right from day one. Just imagine: they never gave their son a single penny for the wedding. I rang them before to suggest we meet and talk things through, but they just replied, What if they get divorced after a month? You know, statistics say seventy per cent of couples split in the first six months! Can you believe that? Not the attitude Id have, but there you go.
Anyway, in the end, my husband and I paid for the whole wedding ourselves, and we bought our kids that flat. His parents turned up at the wedding barely saying a word and handed over a measly £100 in a card. And our son-in-law? Still full of demands.
Its been eight years since we bought that flatjust a studio. Perfect for two, but now that there are two kids, theyre packed in like sardines.
Honestly, I reckon my son-in-law should put a bit more effort in. Ive said to him, Look, if you cant earn enough for somewhere bigger, maybe your parents can lend a hand? But he flat-out refused. He told me, I cant ask them to help out! So I offered to speak to them myself, but he forbade me from even mentioning it.
I was shockedto think hes too embarrassed to ask his own parents, but seems to think its perfectly fine to lean on us for all these years! Why cant he stand on his own feet like other people do when it comes to getting a home? I keep telling him, Youre young, youll find a way. Pick up an extra job, maybe think about working abroad for a bit.
Hes always been a bit funny with my daughter, tooshe rings me up upset all the time, saying I shouldnt get involved. Apparently, her husband reckons you cant change your in-laws; theyre just that type, and theres no point expecting help.
It just gets to me. His parents get to live in their big, comfortable flat, off for weekends by the seaside or to the spa, and yet no ones allowed to say a word about it. Looks like my son-in-law wouldnt dream of bothering his own parents, but doesnt seem to mind relying on us! What a dutiful son, right? But apparently having a conscience about his mother-in-law and father-in-law isnt on the cards.
