28May2024 Diary
I sit by the kitchen fire, the old oak beams creaking as the wind whistles over the fields of Littleford. It feels strange to write these thoughts down, but perhaps putting them on paper will keep the memory of the past year clear.
Three years ago James and I left the bustle of Manchester for the quiet of the village where his parents grew up. He had asked me, Emily, why dont we move back to the countryside? The air is fresher, and who knowsmaybe well have a child here. I answered, James, Ive been thinking the same. Ill go back to teaching at the local primary school. Perhaps a change of scenery will do us good. He smiled, Then its settled.
We married four years ago. After graduating from university, I moved to his family farm and began teaching at Littleford Primary. The love that sparked between us grew strong, and we married soon after. After a year in the village my mother fell seriously ill, so we relocated to Manchester to be close to her. She passed away a year later.
Our life in the city is pleasant, but the absence of a child hangs over us. I have undergone numerous tests; the doctors say everything appears normal. Still, the longing persists.
In the spring we packed quickly, hired a van, and drove back to Littleford to live in Jamess mother Margarets cottage. She lives alone now, and when we arrived she welcomed us with a laugh, Thank heavens youre not just packing boxes for good! Ive prayed for you both, and the Lord has answered. The spare room is yourstheres plenty of space. Your father, George, left us a year ago; I miss him. I prayed for you to return, and here you are.
James found work at the village garage, which took him on with pleasure. I returned to the school, where the headmaster, Mr. Philip Hartley, greeted me warmly, Good to have you back, Miss Emily. Theres a vacancy, and not many want to come out here.
On Friday evening Margaret set a modest feast at her house. The neighbours, Jamess old school friends, and many of the parents gathered. They were overjoyed to see me againhere they called me Emmy. The happiest of all was Tom, the villages former drunkard, who had been rescued from a bottlebottom swamp by my kindness. Nobody believed he would give up the bottle, but I stood by him, and he changed.
When Tom burst into Margarets yard, he saw James and his older brother, wrapped them in a big hug, and completely forgot his manners. James, is it true? Words got around the village that you and Emmy have come back to live here? he asked. Were staying for good, James replied, patting Tom on the shoulder.
Tom darted into the cottage, saw me, lifted me up, twirled me a few times, and set me down on the floor, shouting, Emmy, Emmy Hartley, Im so glad youre home! I stood in the doorway, smiling. Now Ive seen everything, Im waiting for you all to visit us. Vera will be delighted. I must rush home; I promised my wife to look after Veras chores. See you tomorrowdont forget to come, I said, waving as I left.
Margaret asked, Is Tom still sober? I answered, Not a drop since he stopped. He loves his little girlshes almost two now. She laughed, Whats her name? I replied, Emily, just like me. Margaret giggled, Of course, you named her after me. Tom, with a grin, added, I forgot how we cared for her nobody believed I could become a proper man.
The next day James and I visited Toms house. His wife Vera was bustling around a set table, and from a tiny room emerged a small doll with curly hair like Toms, blue eyes, and chubby cheeks. She clutched the doll shyly. Tom introduced us, This is my niece, Emma, and thats Aunt Emily. I knelt and handed the doll to her. She hugged it tightly, took my hand, and led me to her room.
Tom laughed, James, youve lost your wife, havent you? She fits right in with our little oneshes got a good heart. Relatives and a handful of villagers filtered in, bringing pies, jams, pickles, and a few bottles of cider. Someone even unpacked a battered accordion. The house was alive with laughter.
When Tom rose to toast, he lifted his glassthough he didnt drink and said, I owe everything to Emily Hartley, our Emmy. She pulled me out of a pointless life. People whispered behind my back when Id visit the teachers house, There goes the young lady, flaunting herself in daylight. They never guessed that a true friendship could blossom, that love could still exist alongside it. In my heart, Id always loved Vera, but no one knew. The villagers murmured in agreement.
He continued, Ill never forget the first time Emmy asked me to help her pupils build birdhouses, insisting I stay sober. I wanted a drink, but I promised her and kept my word. I built two birdhouses, and that simple task gave me purpose. She later encouraged me to take a driving course, which led to steady work. From then on I stayed dry. He winked at us all.
I reflected, When Emmy left for the city with James, I realised anyone could build a birdhouse if asked. She gently guided me out of the darkness, step by step, becoming my guardian angel. She believed in me when I could barely believe in myself. Im grateful beyond words. The room burst into applause.
Time passed. Both James and I kept to our dutieshe at the garage, I with the children. One afternoon I returned from school pale and shaky, collapsing onto the settee. Margaret, concerned, asked, Emily, whats wrong? You never just lie down at noon. I whispered, I feel weak, nauseous, like somethings off. She smiled knowingly, Are you expecting a baby, dear? I hesitated, I dont really hope anymore She gently urged, Never lose hope. Lets see a doctor tomorrow morning.
A week later the doctor confirmed, Congratulations, youre pregnant. I burst into the kitchen, Well, look at thatno need for words, your face says it all! James rushed in, lifted me into his arms, and we laughed together.
Months later, I was whisked to the district hospital for delivery. James rode beside me, holding my hand. In the early hours a healthy son was born. Margaret arrived shortly after, sitting on a bench outside, humming softly. Mum, I cant believe this is happening. I love James so much it scares me. Is this normal? she asked. I answered, Its perfectly normal. When you truly love, you lose your head. She smiled, Well bring the baby home, and Ill help you both. She thought to herself, He looks like a man, but inside hes still a child.
Soon a daughter followed, filling the house with even more joy. James, who finished his degree by correspondence, now works as the head agronomist for the county. I have been offered the position of headmistress at the primary school, but Im not sure its the right path for me.
Looking back, I realize that love, in its purest form, can change lives, bring hope, and give the courage to face the unknown. It taught me that when you open your heart fully, you may lose a little sense of control, but you gain a world of purpose and belonging.
Lesson learned: true love isnt about keeping a tight grip on everything; its about letting go enough to let life guide you forward.
